whimsy Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Shirtless Horse Jogger Now Has A Challenger: Shirtless Unicorn Rollerblader
While much of the East Coast cowers at the approach of Hurricane Sandy, some people are just carrying on like it's just another day to exercise shirtlessly while wearing a frightening mask....
Washington D.C. Fox Affiliate Interviews "Zombie Pirate" For Insight On Hurricane Sandy
Here is the actual broadcast transcript of an interview that aired this morning on D.C. Fox affiliate WTTG:...
Shirtless Horse-Man Jogs Through Hurricane News Coverage
One of the more curious finds at Qumran in 1947 was a scroll containing an alternate version of the Book of Revelations, a slightly different apocalyptic scenario than the one we're used to. "And I saw, and behold a white man: and he had a horse head; and jogging shorts: and he went forth capering,...
A Very Important Prince Fielder GIF
If Fox didn't intend us to use its super slo-mo camera for juvenile purposes, well, they should just shut the whole thing down....
What Can Groupon Tell Us About Alex Rodriguez?
A lot. It can tell us a lot. Like, according to a scientific analysis, including but not limited to the sale of plush MLB and NFL dolls, Derek Jeter is roughly 60 times more popular than Alex Rodriguez. That's a bit of an unfair comparison, though—I mean, Mr. November!—let's check some other figure...
One Greek Soccer Team Needed A Sponsor, And A Brothel Saved The Day
American sports fans know that sponsorship deals can occasionally veer into the realm of the unfortunate—Enron Field, anyone?—but enlisting the deep pockets of a brothel isn't something we'll likely see here any time soon. One amateur soccer team in Greece, though, had no other choice and needed to ...
Because Everything Is Better With Legos And Stirring Music, Here Is The Space Jump With Both Of Those Things
Felix Baumgartner, who for a moment was at the top of the world—or was it the bottom? I failed science—has been immortalized in a way only a man who has just broken the sound barrier can be immortalized. Legos!...
According To The Cleveland Browns, Brandon Weeden Is 129 Years Old
Brandon Weeden is 29 years old. Which makes him old for a rookie first-round draft pick, but not old for a human being. 129 years is exactly 100 years older than Brandon Weeden is and that is old for a human being, rookie first-round draft pick or otherwise. According to reader Nathan, what you see...
For The Michael Jordan Fan Who Has Everything, There Is McJordan Barbecue Sauce
Lest you think McDonalds just slaps a "Mc" in front of shit and sells it as something new and not entirely disgusting, here is some "McJordan BBQ Sauce" from the early nineties delicacy, the McJordan Burger, for sale on eBay. The McJordan, you may recall "is a quarter-pound hamburger with smoked bac...
Sportswriters Team Up To Remind Robert Horry Of The Time His Shorts Fell Down
What's happening here? No one pictured was quite sure, at first. Marcel Mutoni tweeted this out on Tuesday, and the sportswriters in the first row had no clue what the deal was, so, like the reporters they are, they chimed into get Robert Horry's comment. Howard Beck (now on the Brooklyn Nets beat f...
Kansas City Royals Broadcaster May Have Written The Next Great Love Song
To my mind, the most important part of a love song is a memorable first line. It's also the hardest part. So it was with great admiration and not just a little jealousy that we viewed Royals pre and post-game man Joel Goldberg's sneak peek into the writing process....
Don't You Dare Fall Asleep During One Of Marco Chiudinelli's Tennis Matches
During a match Thursday at the Japan Open, Marco Chiudinelli was so annoyed about a sleeping fan in the stands that he asked Janko Tipsarevic, a top 10 player in the world, to do something about it before the next point was played. As for Tipsarevic throwing a ball at the offending narcoleptic? Th...
The Jets Are Currently Getting De-Pantsed By the 49ers; Is It Time For Something New?
The Jets offense is dead. The roster is lousy with the crippled and infirm. The faith of supports wanes or disappears completely with each incompletion. It is seriously raining hail in New York right now....
Falcons Safety Thomas DeCoud Played The Meow Game During An Interview On <em>SportsCenter</em>
Super Troopers has long been a cultural touchstone for shaggy-haired college dudes who like to watch movies when they're stoned. Spend enough time in any dormitory, and you're bound to hear someone yell, "He's already pulled over, he can't pull over any farther!" and then laugh before taking anot...
Remember When A Shirtless Jose Canseco Really <i>Meant</i> Something?
The year was 1990 and the times were simple. Boston was still pink hat-less. Barry Bonds was a skinny Pirate. Billy Beane was one year removed from a 54 OPS+ season, his final one. And Jose Canseco appeared on various baseball cards in blue jeans—no shirt. The image was used for several cards, but n...
Woman Loses Entire Row Of Bottom Teeth In Fight After Notre Dame Game, Police Looking For Case Of Natural Light
Our man Hickey alerted us to this one earlier in the day and there are no words. If there are any words, Law & Order: Bumblefuck America are about the only ones....
Happiness Is An Enormous Bird
Public transportation is a wonderful thing; a cheap way of getting from A to B if you're not in all that much of a hurry, with the added benefit of the entire world on display for you at any given moment. Sometimes you see a homeless woman hunched over the newspapers she is obsessively shredding, s...
"Gored To Death By Indian Bison": A Brief Index Of Recent Terrible Events Involving Joggers
An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website)....
For Your Consideration: A Man Wearing An Airbrushed T-Shirt With John Elway As Adolf Hitler
I'm not saying the guy is as bad as Hitler. That's definitely not what I'm saying. Hitler, we all know, was a real motherfucker. I'm just sayin', Elway? The guy's a dick, you know? And the fans? Do not get me started. Thinking they're so special with their mile high salute. Well how 'bout this salu...
Faceless Florida Gator Is Kind Of Horrific
The Florida Gators find themselves down a touchdown to rivals Tennessee in Knoxville tonight, and it seems one Gators player can't bear to show his face out of embarrassment—either that, or Will Muschamp tore it off in a fit of rage....