whimsy Page 58 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Complete Guide To Which Republican Presidential Candidates Are Like Which Quarterbacks
OK, now Michele Bachmann has backed up her claim at being the Tim Tebow of the 2012 presidential campaign by being nearly shut out in the Iowa Republican caucuses. The results are in; here's how the rest of the field shapes up:...
A Gestural Analysis Of The Miami Heat's Intro Video (In Which Everyone Looks Like A French Sailor)
The over-produced NBA team introduction video is an unfortunate but often hilarious fact of life now, and we may as well accept its extravagance and pyrotechnics as such. But not every team is the Miami Heat, and not every team's introduction video calls to mind the hip-hop super-group music video...
Don Cherry's Piano Desk Will Make All Analysts Self-Conscious About Their Gesticulations
A lot of television personalities talk with their hands and bang their fingers on the well-lit lucite before them. It's the larynx-friendly method of conveying outrage. They think no one is watching, but they are wrong—as evidenced by this clever YouTube user's "Don Cherry's Piano Desk." You have ...
Last Night's <em>24/7 Flyers/Rangers</em>, Distilled Down To Its Fucking Essence
A total of 46 fucks were given. [HBO]...
This Year In Angry NFL Coaches: A Video
Coaching in the NFL is undoubtedly a very stressful job, and sometimes the camera catches you while you're letting that stress out. We've compiled some of the best of clips of NFL coaches letting their anger out this season for you above....
Recalling The Time Bennie Blades Pulled A Bazooka Out Of His Car Trunk To Settle A Fight
Here's a nice, terrifying memory from Lomas Brown—the former NFL player who now says things on ESPN for money—regarding his former Detroit teammate Bennie Blades. Brown told Dan Le Batard and Le Batard's father today that Blades was the "craziest teammate" he ever had, and then shared this special...
John Clayton Does Not Have A Ponytail, But He Does Have A Mullet
The I-Team investigated this some time ago, only to be told by ESPN that NFL analyst John Clayton did not have a ponytail but only a "mess of hair in back." Clayton hasn't been seen much in Bristol since then, limiting his exposure to face-frontal shots via satellite, but tonight he made a rare stu...
Metta World Peace Is Just As Insane As Ron Artest
Ron Artest's jersey now says "World Peace" on the back, and presumably he's become an entirely different person since the name change became official. But there's one Artest quality we can still count on: Metta World Peace is still totally insane....
Jared Allen Told Ray Edwards, "I'm Going To Punch You Square In Your Wiener, Dude" Before Punching Him Square In The Wiener
Maybe you've seen the video circulating this week that shows Minnesota's Jared Allen punching Atlanta's Ray Edwards directly in the crotch during the Falcons' 24-14 win in Week 12. If not, here it is, and here's Allen's frank explanation of the incident from today's episode of PFT Live:...
Rhode Island NBC I-Team Investigates Dangerous New Game Called "Beer Pong"
What a week for Old People Discoveries: On Monday, the New York Times alerted the world to a curious new trend called "planking," and yesterday, NBC's Providence affiliate launched a special investigative report into the "potential dangers" of a "new game" called beer pong....
Chicago Man Breaks Into Kenny Williams' Home, Defrosts Lobster, Drinks Beer, Leaves With WS Ring
A Chicago man was charged Monday with breaking into White Sox manager Kenny Williams' home and "taking several articles of clothing, a set of keys and jewelry," including a World Series ring. He also reportedly "drank his beer, ate frozen pizza, surfed the internet," and "defrosted a lobster." This ...
Puppy On Freeway Makes For Most Adorable Police Chase Ever
A puppy—allegedly a Yorkie—escaped from the back of a vehicle that had been a part of a rollover crash on the freeway in Tempe, Ariz., on Wednesday. Because it's Friday, we set video of the ensuing police chase to NWA's "Fuck Tha Police" in an attempt to make the baddest Yorkie alive even badder. ...
<i>NCAA Football 12</i> On Penn State-Ohio State Match-Up: "HIDE THE CHILDREN"
From Joseph, a tipster: "Did NCAA 12 know something about Penn State we didn't?"...
Nyjer Morgan Was On The Red Carpet For The L.A. <i>Twilight</i> Premiere Last Night
Nyjer Morgan—or his alter-ego Tony Plush, depending on your take—is a tremendous weirdo. He flies kites when he gets prompted by his Twitter followers. He gives interviews in character. He might actually be a little bit insane. And to add to the tally: he appears to be a legitimate fan of the Twilig...
Bam! Pig Humping A Cow!
I have no idea if this will actually work, but if it does make babies, I want to eat them....
Manny Pacquiao Sings An Awkward, Tender "Sometimes When We Touch" Duet Live On Canadian Television
Manny Pacquiao was on TSN's Off The Record this afternoon, and was surprised mid-interview with the sound of Dan Hill's voice—the same Dan Hill who wrote "Sometimes When We Touch," which is a Pacquiao standard by now. Naturally, the two men sang a duet to close the interview....
10 Things That Are Still Happy About Happy Valley
After a week's worth of almost universally terrible news from State College, it can start to feel as if there's nothing good to be found in the land known as Happy Valley. And we've heard from readers who feel that the coverage is too focused on the negative. Here's a brief and non-comprehensive lis...
Lockout Latest: Amar'e And Carmelo Make Adorable <i>Sesame Street</i> Appearance
Not everything that happens during the NBA lockout is bad: Delonte West makes his job applications public, Delonte West makes his broken-down Ford Bronco public, Chris Paul goes on Family Feud, and—provided that they cover up the Adidas logo on their shirts—Carmelo Anthony and Amar'e Stoudemire ge...
The Saddest Sad Faces Of Sad Penn State Bros
Bros, we must mourn. The greatest bro of all, Joe Paterno—whom one could affectionately refer to as Bro Paternbro—has been fired as head coach of PSU football. Life will never be the same, bros. Football will never be so pure again. Hang your head, remove your backwards New Era cap, and say a prayer...
PSU Students Will Be Able To Indulge In Their Heartbreak At Tonight's Drake Show
It is a proven equation by now that when distraught college students face difficult times, they turn to cheap liquor or light beer and music by Drake....