whimsy Page 74 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Boring Bag! Your Temporary Fun Bag Replacement
While the Funbag is away, we still play, albeit dully. Time for The Boring Bag!...
Melo, D-Wade, Cubes and Nolan Ryan All Sued By Crazy Prisoner
Jonathan Lee Riches, in prison for wire fraud, spends all his time filing lawsuits against public figures. This week sees a new one, involving a number of prominent sports stars, and it is a doozy....
Let's All Giggle Immaturely At These Fellows' Names
Headline of the young month: "Butts Arrested In Boob Murder Case."...
Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Earl Watson" Shopping For Organic Produce
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: Earl Watson. Earl. Watson....
Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....
Early Winner For Deserved Maiming Of The Year Award
A high school student is suing his teacher and the city after he nearly electrocuted himself after hooking his nipples up to electrical clamps in shop class. Also, D batteries are not butt plugs. [AP]...
Cut Loose: A Montage Of Movie Dancing
Sure this video starts off as a montage of people opening and closing doors, but by the time it's over, you've seen one of the better tributes to cinematic two-stepping. Enjoy. [Kottke, via Skeets]...
Battered Sideline Reporter Soldiers On, Wears Helmet
Last week, the world laughed at Sky Sports Germany's Jessica Kastrop for getting knocked in the head with an errant soccer ball. So she took the necessary precautions against a repeat performance with the help of a funny looking helmet....
Thai Police Catch Attempted-Murder Suspect, Take Amusing Picture
Prasop Homhuan (pointee)—wanted in connection with one of those Asian karaoke murders—was apprehended after more than a year on the run. The authorities then took a picture clearly showing that they had gotten their man. [Phuket Gazette, via @jeffkoyen]...
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Toni Kukoc
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the frequent feature where we examine fan-made video love letters to athletes and their baffling soundtrack choices. Today's superstar: the Croatian Sensation, Toni Kukoc, set to Michael Jacksons's "Remember The Time."...
UFC 118: The Wit And Wisdom Of James Toney, MMA's New Big Swinging Freak Show
James Toney may get thumped tonight by Randy Couture at UFC 118, but he's already triumphed in the promotional battle in customary fashion — by sounding like a drunk Clubber Lang practicing the dozens inside a dumpster....
I've Never Seen Four Effeminate Filipinos So Excited
You think you were thrilled by Miss Philippines making it to the top 15 of the Miss Universe Pageant? Try these four. Sorry ladies, I know you like a guy not afraid to show his emotions, but I don't think they're interested....
Look At This Fucking Hoopster: "Isaiah Rider" And "Tyson Chandler" Hang At Rock The Bells
An occasional feature in which we spotlight the ridiculous trend of recontextualized basketball jerseys. Today: Isaiah "Don't Call Me J.R." Rider and Tyson Chandler....
Airbag Prank Nearly Launches Man Through Ceiling
Get a bunch of Russians together, ply them with alcohol, and it's only a matter of time before this happens. Interestingly, this is a perfect re-creation of the later years of the Soviet Space Program....
Read Bill O'Reilly Wax Uptight About '70s Porn Auteur Gerard Damiano
During the early days of disco, young scribe Bill O'Reilly scribed for the Boston Phoenix. His first article was a feature on the director of Deep Throat, giving new resonance to "Fuck it, we'll do it live." [Boston Phoenix]...
A Roundup Of Angry And Confused Emails Concerning That Bike Crash Video
Last week, I posted this video of a bike collision between an easily distracted helmet-cammed bicyclist and a jaywalking pedestrian. It proved to be fairly popular and elicited a strong reaction. Here are some emails I got....
Deadspin Hall Of Fame Nominations Are Out Next Week
Heavens to murgatroid, folks, it's that time of year again. Next week, voting commences for the 2010 Deadspin Hall Of Fame class commences. Deadspin turns five years old on September 8. How old we've all gotten....
Hungover Owls? Hungover Owls.
Sports, schmorts. Gaze upon all that is wonderful, all that is right, all that is Hungover Owls. You can finally retire that Tumblr you never update because you're not doing better than Hungover Owls....
Stephon Marbury's Training Regimen: Talk In First Person Plural, Fall While Running
Stephon Marbury is one of our favorite things about the internet. When he isn't UStreaming...stuff, he's updating his personal YouTube channel with videos of him tearing apart the competition in the CBA or, in this case, falling while running uphill....
Learn Linguistics The Latrell Sprewell Way
Reader Chris sends in this picture of his linguistics textbook where a short Latrell Sprewell history lesson is used for a quick lesson on inflectional morphemes....