whimsy Page 74 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Robert Lee Will Sell You A Mobile Home, Terrify You
What does saying "a bouncer in Birmingham hit me in the face with a crescent wrench five times" have to do with selling mobile homes? Not a thing, but I'll be damned if Robert Lee isn't a great pitchman. [YouTube]...
Mascot Falls Off Dugout Roof, Thrills Hundreds
The Reno Aces are a Triple-A Diamondbacks affiliate. Why they have Grimace Jr. and a moonwalking wolf with a lack of spatial understanding for mascots is beyond me, but they sure can move. [Slanch Report, music via Technotronic]...
More Fun With Baseball Names
It's the All-Jane Austen Team, featuring such fine country gentleman as Chad Billingsley, Micah Hoffpauir, Gordon Beckham III, and one Ryan Benjamin Rowland-Smith. Oh, I do hope the landed gentry aren't too scandalized! [Lookout Landing]...
Who Wants To See Jordan Shipley Stick His Hands In A Mutilated Deer Carcass?
Yeah, it's gross, but the Texas receiver likes his hunting. Click and be horrified to learn where your dinner came from. (Not safe for the queasy.) [More photos @ Frathouse Sports]...
Martha Stewart And Keith Olbermann Make Nice
Perhaps the unlikeliest pair to sit next to each other at today's Yankee game, Stewart and Olbermann discussed the finer points of...actually, I have no idea what they could possibly have been talking about. [Twitter]...
Kenyon Martin Locker Room Eruption Versus Christian Bale On Set Meltdown
Kenyon Martin's temper tantrum in the aftermath of Popcorn-In-Car-Gate has landed. It's pretty good, but we wanted to add a little zest. So, after firing up some Danger Mouse, we put this together (NSFW language)....
Today In Girls Sports Hijinks: The Human-Step-Ladder-Dunk Calamity
At the intersection of two great genres, Disastrous Attempts at Dunking and Middle-Schoolers Getting Hurt, lies this dunk mishap. Featuring a back-and-forth not seen in 70 years (or so), this basketball game took a turn toward the hilarious. [emailsfromthecube]...
Sausage Race Nearly Ends In Vehicular Manslaughter
Milwaukee's annual Opening Day Beef Tube Relay Race took a hilarious, nearly tragic turn when the Italian sausage was almost run over by its police escort. When did Randall Simon become a cop? [Last Angry Fan; video via]...
This Sandwich Is Coming To Tempt, Kill You All
KFC's Double Down sandwich has become the stuff of gross-fast-food legend. Now, it is going nationwide. Soon (next week), you too will have the chance to use fried chicken in its best application: as bread. [The Consumerist]...
Three Steps: Skirt NCAA Rules, Peddle Frozen Pizza, Join Nuggets
Remember Brian Butch, the guy who was a McDonald's All-American but still redshirted at Wisconsin? The Nuggets signed him because...someone needs to hack Gasol. Enjoy Butch's old commercial for Pep's, a frozen pizza with "quality...Wisconsin...sauce." [Ball Don't Lie]...
Confused Sideline Reporter Unable To Follow Game He's Covering
SkyTV's Chris Kamara had one job at this weekend's Portsmouth-Blackburn match: Watch the game. And maybe try to pay attention to what happens. He failed miserably on both counts....
Blind Driving: Unlikely To Become The Next Paralympic Sport
A Turkish pop star set a world record for the fastest blind driver, going 180mph. He would have gone faster, but the pedestrians stuck on his grille probably increased the wind resistance. [Reuters]...
Basketball-Playing Rats Are Amazing, Gross
This video of rats playing basketball is mounting a furious challenge to our dog-playing-basketball video for supremacy in the ever-competitive category of mammals-playing-basketball videos. What's next, an Eddy-Curry-playing-basketball video?...
Dunker Kicks Defender In The Nuts, Hangs On Rim In Most Emasculating Facial Ever
Here's Tony Skinn, last seen on these shores helping George Mason to the Final Four, vaulting off some guy's coinpurse and dunking. Skinn, it seems, is no stranger to exploiting a man's pain threshold to attain basketball success. [TheHoopsDoctors.com]...
Annoying Flying Fish Slaps Woman In The Face
An influx of Asian carp to the Illinois River has given rise to extreme aerial bowfishing, a niche sport combining speedboats with archery. This is what happens when the fish fight back with some extreme aerial moves of their own....
And Nike Officially Ruins April Fool's Day
CBSSports.com and ESPN.com are both running some amazing stories today. Every single one manages to discuss how the fantastic athletic feats were pulled off thanks to Nike Air shoes. We've come a long way from Sidd Finch's single hiking boot....
Gus Johnson Soundboard And A Humping Bulldog: The Mashup We've All Been Waiting For
What happens when you mix a horny bulldog with a stuffed bear and the Gus Johnson soundboard? Magic happens....
Searching For...This Lady's Dog
Have you seen Sadie? If you have, there could be two Lakers floor seats in it for you....
ESPN Claim: John Clayton Does Not Have A Ponytail
A month ago, we got a glimpse of what looked to be the fabled ponytail of John Clayton. Now comes the official denial from ESPN....
West Virginia Players Celebrate Kentucky Win, Rip Off Dance Moves
Da'Sean Butler and John Flowers, no strangers to the art of dance, celebrated West Virginia's win by doing the John Wall Dance. Alert the Lexington Intellectual Property Society of this egregious clownin' immediately! [Via The Big Lead]...