whimsy Page 78 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"GAYTR" License Plate Raises Some Questions
An FSU fan seriously committed to the joke? A UF grad who's blissfully unaware? Or just one of the tens of thousands (statistically speaking) of literally gay Florida alumni, and we're just being insensitive jerks? (H/T to commenter chartman1.)...

Somebody Hit A Drive Off Of Stewart Cink's Crotch
It was at his charity event in Florence, Ala. PGA duffer Zach Johnson confirmed via Twitter that Cink's scrotum was intact after the stunt. [Extra Mustard]...

Weightlifter Pukes Attempting 1,000-lb Squat
This man didn't successfully squat 1,008 pounds, but he did manage to vomit all over the judge before passing out. (Great job by the spotter at the end, btw.) Did I mention it was projectile vomiting? [LastAngryFan via WindyCitizen]...

And Now Your Zen-Like Moment From Will Leitch's Wedding Weekend
This horrifying exhibition of dance moves to "Cupid Shuffle" was perpetrated by Emeritus at his post-rehearsal dinner fete and not at Blogs With Balls. Even the whitest of rhythmless white people might find this unsettling....

The Human Dramedy Of The National Spelling Bee
Whether by design or accident, the kids at this year's spelling bee were decidedly less wacky than last year's crop of home-schooled rascals. (I do like the Canadian, though.) However, the event was not without its chuckles or....stunning twists!...

Clay Matthews Not A Fan Of "Clay Mathews"
Clay with two Ts gets disrespected by the sign makers at his own charity golf tournament. Thankfully, water slides solve everything. [Twitter]...

Soccer-Playing Penguins Adorable, Terrible At Soccer
An aquarium in South Korea — aka Good Korea — is preparing for the World Cup by dressing up its penguins and making them play soccer. Different cultures are hilarious....

Cover-Band Drummer Is Far Too Intense For A Cover-Band Drummer
Click to view If there's one thing more embarrassing than being in a cover band that wears matching gold blazers, it's being the overly intense drummer for a cover band that wears matching gold blazers. Sharp-dressed men, indeed. H/T Brad....

Relive The 1966 World Cup Final With The Magic Of Lego
The mad Germans at Legofussball.com have recreated in Lego the last time — SPOILERS — England won a World Cup. Ooh, do the Falklands War next! [Legofussball, via The Guardian]...

Mentos-And-Coke Car Propels Us Into The Future
Two mad geniuses have invented a rocket car, powered only by the dark magic of Mentos and soda. It's already the second-most popular vehicle class in the country, ahead of open-wheeled racing....

Where Not To Go This Vacation Season
SeaWorld has two pregnant Orcas; both carrying the children of Tilikum, who put the killer in Killer Whale....

In Honor Of Memorial Day, Here's A Photo Of A Marine With Sarah Palin Tattooed On His Ass
That butt belongs to Gunnery Sgt. Benjamin "Gus" Lepping, an explosive ordnance disposal tech serving in Afghanistan. Reasoning: "What could be better than getting a tattoo of the hottest cougar in the Republican Party?" [Battle Rattle]...

Some 24-Year-Old Guy Is Getting Mike Brown's Calls
Note to various NBA personnel directors and well-wishers: You know why Mike Brown isn't returning your phone calls? A guy named Rajesh Kumar....

After Seeing This Promo Pitch, Who Wouldn't Want To Go On A Cruise With Rick Dempsey?
Walkoff Walk discovered this gem of a YouTube video where one cadence-challenged pitchman tries to sell this Rick Dempsey (himself!) luxury cruise. You will. Talk like. This. All day. [WalkoffWalk]...

Here's An Indonesian Toddler Who Smokes 40 Cigs Per Day
Exasperated mum says: "He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick." Do they have 3-1-1 in Musi Banyuasin? [TheSun]...

The New Tim Lincecum Cartoon Will Give You A Contact High
Another day, another baffling sports figure TV show appearance. Today we have the inaugural episode of Timmy & Bus, a cartoon that is for children in the way that all unicorn-vehicular-manslaughter cartoons are for children. [Tauntr]...

Fat-Ass Baseball Players Get Their Roger Bannister Moment
Per Wezen-Ball's wonderful Tater Trot Tracker, David Ortiz rounded the bases after yesterday's solo shot in 30.59 seconds, a new record by nearly eight-tenths of a second. Yes, mankind has at last shattered the 30-second barrier. [Wezen-Ball]...

Watch Randy Foye's Mystifying Canadian TV Debut
Washington Wizard Randy Foye performed some small screen magic by appearing in an episode of the Canadian TV show Wingin' It. What Randy Foye has to do with Canadian tweens and angels is beyond me. And probably Randy Foye, too. [via FreeDarko]...

Juan Rivera Goes 1-For-4, Falls Into Temporal Wormhole
Here's a mind-melting Juan Rivera infinite regress from Tuesday's Angels-Rangers game. [Screengrab via reader Josh; video at MLB.com]...

Today, In Sentences That Makes Less Sense Each Time You Read Them
"Anna Lovato took a ride on the mechanical penis, met Miami Heat basketball star Michael Beasley; and joined Natasha Marley for a ride on the sexy see-saw with dildo." [Rising Star PR]...