whimsy Page 78 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Least Necessary Holiday Sports Column Update
We got some good submissions for the Least Necessary Sports Column "contest," so while you're waiting around for various balls to drop here's some light reading that will make you say, "Why did this happen?"...
2009 Commenter Of The Year
Here's some good news, the Commenter of the Year Award (COTY or Commenties) is back! But before we get to the big award, it's only fair we get to do some fun year-end list stuff....
Help Us Find The Least Necessary Holiday Sports Column
The week between Christmas and New Year's Day is tough for sports writers. (Just look at this site you're reading.) It's the time of the year when a desperate columnist will reach for just about anything to meet a deadline....
I See You've Played Crocy-Spoony Before
The latest fad Down Under: swimming into baited crocodile traps. It's still safer than Aussie rules football. [Northern Territory News]...
Getting The Kinks Out Of Marriage
So there's this plucky startup headed by NFL wives to "strengthen the relationships between pro athletes and their significant others." The debut party's favors include "adult toys" for the men; strip poles for the women may be forthcoming. Seriously. [CNBC]...
Happy Yulemas From The Pasty Basketball Elves
The Basketball Jones would like wish you a Merry Christmas (none of that Happy Holidays nonsense!) via everyone's favorite musical medium—NBA-themed caroling. Nothing says "jolly" like a Dirk Nowitzki dirge....
Arm Wrestling — To The Max!!!
As the runaway success of Chess boxing proved, any sport can be improved by adding ass-kicking to the mix. Imagine arm wrestling, where the rest of your body is free to wail on your opponent. America's got a new pastime....
Metrodome Bathroom Swallows Another Victim
The Metrodome will not let the Twins escape easily, even if it has to trap former Rookies of the Year inside its porcelain bowels for all eternity....
A Golf Porn Lawsuit That Has Nothing To Do With Who You Think
There are many ways of getting yourself banned from exclusive country clubs. Being poor or a minority are probably the most common, but letting them film a golf-themed porno there is probably the most exciting....
Last Night's Winner: This Guy?
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like this Mozambique soccer fan, who is thrilled....I guess? He's either elated or just got hit with a cattle prod. It could go either way....
Basketball, As Seen Through The Prism Of A Chipotle Burrito
UWM's James "Big Lumber" Eayrs: "[Rice] is the point guard to my burrito, holding everything together. Next, my main ingredient, double chicken. It fills my stomach like a center should fill the lane. Next in line, my salsas..." [HZN, via]...
What Weirdos Are Coming To Deadspin
Every once in a while I'll pop into Google Analytics to see what brings people to the site. Some are easily explained ("Tiger Woods Accident"); others, not so much ("andrei kirilenko masha woman (sleep or bed or sex)"). Observe....
Deep Inside The Comcast/TV Guide Sports Listing Conspiracy
I've been hard on Comcast, because well....they're an evil cable company and they deserve it. But we're received a flood of emails proving that the wacky game descriptions we've been spotting are not their fault. It's like a peeling onion....
Comcast Writers Not Even Trying Anymore
Comcast's television guide writers have taken a new approach to crafting their NBA game descriptions. Simply throw at a dart at the team rosters and whatever name you hit becomes the star of the game....
Fame And Fortune On The Razor's Edge
Was it fate that brought down the dullest man in sports? Or was it something...sharper? We take a look at the history of Gillette pitchmen, and the woes that befell them soon after. Presenting, the Gillette Curse....
"I" Of The Tiger: A Graphological Inquiry Into The Personality Of Eldrick Woods
Just who is Tiger Woods, exactly? We may never know, but at least we have the science of handwriting analysis to give us an idea. Graphologist Susanne Shapiro looked at Tiger's autograph for us, and she found it very revealing....