whimsy Page 79 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Just Because: Video Of Justin Bieber Walking Into A Glass Door
I would ask how seeing this makes you feel, however, I'm guessing there are not a lot of 14-year-old girls reading this website right now, so I think I have my answer. [YouTube]...

Jet Skis, Assault Weapons, And Party Girls: The Mikhail Prokhorov Supermix
Newly minted Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov is America's new favorite Russian oligarch. In the wake of all his recent, reliably preposterous media appearances, we've decided to put together a mix. Please enjoy. [Footage via Nets.com, CBSnews.com, YESNetwork.com; tunes via]...

Chris Berman Walk O' Fame Update
Wednesday, grumpy artisans were installing Chris Berman's big, bright, shining star on the Hollywood Walk o' Fame. Future pilgrims should be happy to know it's steps from Hollywood Cabaret and about 1.5 miles from the nearest leather shop. [Farther Off The Wall]...

This Is What Happens When You Do Ecstasy At Home By Yourself In Your Underwear
He actually took a sedative to calm himself down a bit. Then, of course, he strips and dances around with a pacifier in his mouth. Because it's rave or die time, I assume. Mesmerizing. [ViaAlexBlagg'sTwitter]...

Yes, The "N" In ESPN Looks Like Boba Fett
You can now impress every PTI-obsessed stormtrooper at the next sporty Star Wars gathering you attend. Those exist, right? [TheDailyWhat]...

Texas Speedway Honors 87-Year-Old Benefactor By Killing Him In Fiery Crash
The WWII vet was honored — for "a lifetime of blood donations" — with a ride at Texas Motor Speedway when his car plowed into the wall, killing him. How will they honor him for his organ donations? [AP]...

Girl Sleeps Through Her Own Interview During Rangers Game
I have no idea what's going on in this interview, but neither does the girl who is apparently part of it. Funny that the elbow to the head didn't perk her up. [Thanks to Eric R. for video]...

Softball Conference Champs Just Want To Dance It Out (WINNER'S UPDATE)
Fresh off winning an Atlantic Sun conference championship, the Lipscomb Lady Bisons debuted a coordinated dance routine. Unfortunately, it brought them neither the replenishing rains that would ensure a bountiful harvest nor a Women's College World Series title....

Peeping Tom Peeps In On MMA Fighter, Doesn't Peep So Good No More
A pervert snuck onto a couple's patio and tried to videotape them. The male half of that couple, a part-time MMA fighter, took exception, which he expressed via fists. As you probably guessed, that's the pervert, in his "after" pose....

Canadian Porn Ads Teach Valuable Lesson About Truth in Advertising
These have nothing to do with sports, but they're extremely funny and today is somewhat slow, so there. Pretty SFW, but you should be at home on a Sunday evening anyway. Your family misses you....

MLB Civil Rights Game Gets Blacked Out
At least in Memphis, home to both the inaugural game and the National Civil Rights Museum....

Mountain <em>Ew</em>!: High School Softball Coach Makes Players Drink Soda From a Shoe
The incident occurred, naturally, at a team slumber party. The drinkers of the unholy union of Drs. Pepper and Scholls had all struck out during a recent game. The coach has since apologized. Also apologizing? Me, for that headline....

Nobody's Working Harder For The Weekend Than This Guy
The weekend is upon us. Tonight there will be a hockey match of some sort and tomorrow there will be all sorts of fun. Let's end the week on a light note, shall we?...

Penis-Curious News Anchor Responds
Michael HIll, news anchor for New Orleans's ABC affiliate and a man with a penchant for wonderfully awkward questions, has seen our post and writes in to say he does indeed know from banter. E-mail after the jump....

Bill Self To Dance, Dance, Dance The Night Away For Charity
The Hoops Doctors uncovered this video of a leisure-suited Bill Self promoting an upcoming charity event, to be held in Kansas City....

Ex-Giant Brad Benson Is Greatest Ad Wizard Since Don Draper
Like many former athletes, New York Giant alumnus Brad Benson found a second career as a successful car dealer. Unlike most of them, however, he's made another name for himself as a filthy-minded, possibly unhinged radio pitchman....

Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians: Will Leitch Edition
The floppy-haired hero from the hardscrabble streets of Mattoon, Ill. received a king's welcome at Busch Stadium and got the old pre-game treatment from the local Fox affiliate.For some reason he chose to wear Annie Leibovitz's eyeglasses....

Free Nohjay Nimpson!
We're down to the Elite Eight in the always-excellent Name Of The Year tournament. So go cast your vote to ensure that Nohjay Nimpson and God's Power Offor continue on. [NOTY]...

News Anchor Asks, "So She's Enjoying Penis A Little Bit More?"
At the end of a segment on a "the G-shot", ABC 26 anchor Michael Hill asked reporter Catherine Shreves a question that made it quite apparent he has no idea how banter works. Video after the jump....

Headlines That Get Funnier After Midnight: "Tiger Penis Found At Auckland Airport"
Not a surprise, really ... but how does that explain the neck problem? [Stuff.co.nz]...