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How The Wizards Ended Up With The Worst Team Name In Sports
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The Wizards' Bench Won Somebody A Spot In The Eastern Conference Finals
I guess if you want to pin the outcome of last night’s Game 7 on somebody—somebody other than repulsive unconscious three-bombing Canuck gorilla Kelly Olynyk—you can pin it on Scott Brooks and Ernie Grunfeld....
Wizards Fan Decks Celtics Fan
There’s not a lot to see in this short clip of a Wizards fan and Celtics fan getting into it at last night’s Game 7, just one quick punch to the nose and some half-hearted shoving....
The Wizards Are Dead And Kelly Olynyk Killed Them
Thanks to a big night from oafish backup center guy Kelly Olynyk, the Boston Celtics took Game 7 from the Washington Wizards tonight, 115-105, and won the honor of trying to stop LeBron James and the Cavs. They will probably not fare that well, but whatever, this is their night....
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Wizards Get A Championship Fight Song Ahead Of Game 7<em></em>
Over the weekend, Nils Lofgren posted a snippet of “Wizards Fever,” a rough remake of his classic “Bullets Fever,” the greatest sports theme song our nation’s capital has ever known....
NBA: Game 6 Clock Error Cost Celtics One Second On Final Possession
The NBA has acknowledged a clock error in the closing seconds of Friday’s playoff game that would have given the Celtics an extra second on their final possession....
How Better To Celebrate A Game 7 Than By Slapping Stephen A. Smith On The Ass?
The Washington Wizards forced a Game 7 against the Boston Celtics last night with a dazzling, heart-stopping three-pointer by John Wall. The Celtics, dressed for a funeral, were sent away mourning on their own. How best to celebrate? Giving a nice hearty ass-slap to Stephen A. Smith!...
John Wall Kills Celtics With Perfectly Placed Dagger
Down two, five seconds left, season in the balance, the charred end of a night when his team hit 20 percent of its three-point attempts, a postseason in which home teams facing elimination were 0-10, the best defender on the East’s top seed staring him in the face, ladies and gentlemen, I give you J...
Oh Right, They're The Wizards
What’s that, you say? After two consecutive dominant performances at home, the Wizards showed up flat and dazed-looking for a hugely important road game and got their asses kicked through the roofs of their mouths? Why in that case, it must have been literally any time the Wizards have played an imp...
This Is What It Sounds Like When An Entire Arena Hates You
Wizards youngster Kelly Oubre probably didn’t go into the playoffs expecting to be at the center of a big postseason storyline, but then he went and body-checked Kelly Olynyk in Game 3. After serving a one-game suspension while the Wizards played at home in Game 4, Oubre got back on the court in Bos...
The Celtics Have Taken Control
If the fifth game of a seven-game series is for making statements, then the Celtics wrote theirs in ten-foot tall letters using the Wizards’ blood....
Dwight Howard Cited For Speeding And Driving Without Insurance The Morning Of Hawks' Game 6 Loss
Early in the morning before the Atlanta Hawks lost Game 6 of their first round series against the Washington Wizards and got bounced from the playoffs, Hawks center Dwight Howard was pulled over for driving 95 mph in a 65 mph zone at 2:06 a.m....
John Wall Is Too Much
In his “Coach’s Corner” bit after the first quarter of last night’s Game 4 between the Celtics and the Wizards, Boston coach Brad Stevens explained to TNT’s David Aldridge how his team had shrugged off an early Washington run to end the period leading 24-20. “Even when it was 8-0 them,” he said, “we...
Kelly Oubre Suspended For Game 4 After Flagrant Foul On Kelly Olynyk
The NBA will reportedly be suspending Kelly Oubre for one game after he shoved Kelly Olynyk during Thursday’s Game 3 between the Wizards and Celtics....
If Kelly Oubre Jr. Is Suspended, It Will Be Because He Was Honest
First of all, as a basketball euphemism, physical play is bullshit. Everything that happens on a basketball court is physical play. A bounce-pass is a physical play. When broadcast crews and halftime pundits and bloggers say that one team is playing more physical than the other, particularly in the ...
The Wizards Got Out To A Huge Lead And, For Once, Kept It
The Wizards dominated in the first quarter of tonight’s Game 3, going on a 20-0 run and heading to the second with a 39-17 lead over the Celtics. But you’ve heard that one before, and it hasn’t ended well for Washington lately. Tonight was different....
Kelly Oubre Ejected After Charging, Shoving Kelly Olynyk
Things got chippy early in the second quarter for the Celtics and Wizards, after Kelly Oubre was the victim of a hard screen by Kelly Olynyk. Oubre wasn’t especially pleased, and he showed it by charging Olynyk and shoving him to the ground:...
Marcus Morris Denies That He Is Impersonating His Twin Brother On The Wizards<em></em>
Is Wizards forward Markieff Morris only playing through an ankle injury because his brother Marcus is impersonating him? Let’s see what Marcus thinks....
Isaiah Thomas Will Beat You And Then Embarrass You
This isn’t meant to denigrate Isaiah Thomas, who fucked the Wizards all the way up last night and is proving himself to be the True Superstar nobody thought the Celtics had, but oh my God, can you imagine how aggravating it must be to get 53 points dropped on you by a guy who is about the size of To...