world-cuppage Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: The Apotheosis Of Landycakes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Landon Donovan, who yesterday cried on camera and blew a kiss to his ex and somehow didn't get fagbaited for it, the way he always has....

A Children's Treasury Of Drunk People Screaming About Donovan's Goal
What did we do before YouTube, when those of us stuck in offices couldn't vicariously live through actual celebrations of yesterday's huge goal against Algeria? Here are some of the best....

World Cup Open Thread: Paraguay-New Zealand; Slovakia-Italy
Can the All Whites eke out their first win? Will the Italians join the ignoble list of champions to not advance from the group stages? Follow along at home and comment below....

Happy America Now Officially Insane, Possibly Jingoist About Soccer (For The Time Being)
Most of our country still hasn't come down from the afternoon spazgasm caused by the dainty foot of Landon Donovan, but remember, bandwagoners, there are people out there ready to scold your joy. Like The Nation....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 23
What a day, what a day. The U.S. advanced, but so did Germany and England. Australia put in a valiant effort and had two highlight-reel goals that will be ignored because of Landon Donovan's stunner....

Today, We Are All Americans High-Fiving Our Moms
Here's the first of what will probably be many U.S. goal reaction videos, and it's a good one. Whoever you are, arkansasjones, you perfectly captured the national mood when you said, "YEAAAHHYEAAAAAHH GOOAAAAALLLGOOAAALLYESSOOOOHYESSS," and then almost tackled your mom. [H/T Señor Montalban]...

Peter Crouch’s Mum And Dad Attacked By Hungry Baboons
Gangly striker Peter Crouch's parents have been left ‘petrified' after a gang of wild baboons broke into their hotel room at the Sun City resort near England's training camp in Rustenburg....

Bleusballed In Paris: Laughing Along At France's Implosion With The Happily Unhappy French
Whether in a Parisian bar or at the local office of the Association of the Friends of the Paris Commune, Deadspin foreign correspondent John Harpham found the French delighting ever so Frenchily in their national team's disgrace....

Algerian Player Slaps Female Reporter After Match
Rafik Saifi, who came on in the 84th minute — just in time to watch the US win the match — took our his frustrations in the media room by smacking an Algerian journalist right across the mouth....

World Cup Open Thread: Ghana-Germany
Ghana needs a draw the guarantee advancing. Ironically, the safest bet for Germany is to play for a win and let the rest sort itself out. Follow along and say your favorite thing about both country in the comments....

World Cup Open Thread: Australia-Serbia
The Socceroos have their work cut out for them if they want to advance to the knockout stages. If they even want to start going through all the tie-breaker scenarios, they need to win this game. Comment and follow the action below....

Here's Video Of Landon Donovan's Winner (Music-Free Update)
In the 91st minute of a 0-0 draw, after a great throw by Tim Howard, Landon Donovan led the attack downfield, culminating in a put back goal by Landycakes himself. Just like that, the USMNT's stay in South Africa was extended....

Here's Video Of The U.S. Getting Jobbed By A Ref. Again.
This run by the U.S. in the 23rd minute resulted in yet another disallowed goal for the USMNT after Clint Dempsey's strike was called off on a questionable offsides call. Here's video proof that it was pretty much nonsense....

World Cup Open Thread: United States-Algeria (UPDATE: U.S. Wins, Nation's Underpants Lose)
FINAL: USA 1, Algeria 0....

World Cup Open Thread: Slovenia-England
SO MANY POSSIBILITIES! Comment about the game action if you're watching this one instead of that other game that is GOING. ON. RIGHT. NOW....

Let's Take A Moment To Enjoy France's Misery
South Africa is the first host nation that failed to make it out of the World Cup's group stage—but even they managed to humiliate the French and send them home amid one last bit of poor sportsmanship. Delicious....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 22
The knockout stages are a little clearer after today, with four teams moving on. Nigeria's Kalu Uche probably had the nicest goal, but the Super Eagles knocked out after its draw with the Good Korea....

Extremely In-Depth Profiles In Courage: Nereida Gallardo & Irina Shayk (A.K.A. Cristiano Ronaldo's Girlfriends)
Up there you have two women, Nereida Gallardo and Irina Shayk, who are allegedly Cristiano Rondaldo's girlfriend. They aren't being blamed for anything (yet) but there are two of them! What do we really know about them? Let's break it down and compare the two....

World Cup Open Thread: Greece-Argentina; Nigeria-South Korea
The second batch of games has some potential. Greece will need to hold back the relentless Argentine attack if it wants to advance. Can Nigeria play spoiler to the ambitious South Koreans? Comment as you watch....

Lionel Messi And Carlos Tevez Vow To Reform Oasis
Carlos Tevez and Lionel Messi have promised to offer swaggering Mancunians Noel and Liam Gallagher a blank cheque to reform Oasis, if Argentina win the World Cup this year....