x Page 1008 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The David Wells Mad Lib
Obviously, David Wells — as evidenced by his appearance on the waiver wire in just about every fantasy league we're in — is much more useful as a quote machine these days than as an actual baseball player. And he's never more amusing than when he's being edited to suit the taste of the delicate ne...
If You Can Make It There ...
We know that the obvious death of boxing has been thoroughly documented and dissected, but we kind of think this pretty much pushes it into the kitsch category....
Revisiting The Chicago Bitch Slap
Clearly, there are not many people out there who feel bad about A.J. Pierzynski getting punched in the face. Sporlitics thanks Michaell Barrett for "doing something the rest of the world has wanted to do for a long, long time." They also provide a brief list of reasons why Pierzysnki deserved to b...
If You Want To Throw Down In Fisticuffs, Fine.
White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski plowed into Cubs catcher Michael Barrett at the plate, and Barrett felt that it was an inappropriate touch. He got up, wrapped Pierzynski up in a little hug so they could chat for a quick second, and then he popped him in the face. It was a short right cross that ...
It's Playoff Time! Everybody Grab A Ball!
Before we talk about last night's Clippers' win over the Suns, can we just say how disappointed we were that there wasn't a single incident of a grown man wounding the genitals of another grown man?...
Last Call For The Clips
The Cavaliers', uh, somewhat unexpected rattling-off of three consecutive wins over the Pistons has overshadowed what had been the plucky little engine that could of the postseason: The Clippers, who face elimination at the Staples Center tonight against the Suns....
So That Would Be Why He Has So Many People In His Network
Much big credit to Burnt Orange Nation, which has dug up the recently deleted MySpace page of "troubled" Texas Longhorns running back Ramonce Taylor....
Wait ... They're Not Still Playing?
Last night's Clippers-Suns game was so intense, so all-inclusive, that we were this close to just live blogging the thing ourselves. (J.E. Skeets did just fine, anyway.) The game ended at 2:18 ET time, which was seven hours ago; a guy who clocked in to work when this game ended still has an hour l...
Chris Kaman And Clippers Ready For World Domination
Little known fact: Clippers center Chris Kaman is not, in fact, actually hurt: That lump on his shoulder is just a normal byproduct of reaching the 25th year of life on his home planet. It's kind of like a birthing pouch, actually; in nine months, a being resembling a cross between Nicko McBrain a...
Dolphins Not Liable For Future Damages, So You Know
We don't mean to imply that the Miami Dolphins are covering their tailfeathers a bit with Marcus "New Mexico" Vick, whom they just signed to a free agent contract, but here's what was included in the official press release about the signing....
The Closer: Fate, Thy Name Is Josh Beckett
Notes from a day in baseball:...
Mike Tyson Wants It That Way
Honestly ... where would any of us be without Mike Tyson?****...
Hail The Glorious, Conquering Clippers
It's pretty clear at this point that the Suns should continue to only play teams from Los Angeles; this Suns-Clippers series is shaping up to be as entertaining as the Suns-Lakers series was....
The Closer: We're Up 7-3; What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
Notes from a day in baseball:...
This Is What Happens When You Brawl On A Pecan Farm
Well, you don't see stories like this one every day. Let's see if we can piece together the progression of things that happened to Texas running back Ramonce Taylor this weekend, according to this from CBS SportsLine.com wire reports:...
Four Tiny Tidbits On: Mexico
The World Cup is ominously close! So that you aren't caught offsides (they have that in soccer, right?), we're previewing all the participants, bringing you Four Things You Don't Know About Them. If you have a tidbit on your favorite team, or even a team you hate, send it along to [email protected]...
The Closer: Fear The Awesome Hitting Might Of Mark Mulder
Notes from a day of baseball. • 1. Mulder Gets A Little Raucous During Housewarming Party. When they said that the new Busch Stadium would be a pitcher's ballpark, we didn't know they meant it this way. Cardinals starter Mark Mulder clubbed his first career home run on Monday, right over the new H...
Game 6, RBI Baseball Style
If you needed any more proof that the Web is the greatest thing humans have been handed since we realized the caveman who won’t shut up about his fantasy baseball team could be hit in the head with a rock, here it is. A guy at the site San Diego Serenade spent hours syncing up Vin Scully’s audio fro...
The Closer: Bronx Cheer
Notes from a day of baseball ... • 1. Well, That's Two. It was a headline in The New York Times that really bothered us: 'Yankees Rough Up Angels' Colon.' But they were refering to Bartolo Colon, of course, who got pounded by A-Rod & Co. 10-1 yesterday, and hey, the Yankees are off! After beating ...
"Cut Me, Doc, Cut Me. Oh, Check, By The Way"
While everyone is focusing on the World Cup, another big event being hosted by Germany is tragically being ignored: The European Chessboxing Championships. The only board game which requires talcum and a cut man begins on April 21 in Cologne with two fights; the first between German middleweights ...