x Page 1010 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
My New Favorite African Women's Soccer Team
They're not likely to become as popular as the Carolina Panthers cheerleaders, but the Nigerian national women's soccer team, known as the Super Falcons, is trying their hardest. Lesbianism is rampant on the team, according to former coach Sam Okpodu, and it is awesome, according to me....
Xavier Musketeers
1. We're Pretty Sure Andre Smith Won't Attend Any Games This Week. Smith, who played for the Musketeers in 1993-94, was sentenced recently to 10 years in prison for the beating death of his neighbor with a Russian machete. Smith, 30, admitted hitting Maxim Dudinovin. Smith is the son of 1970's Cleve...
Texas Longhorns
1. Two Names To Know: Todd Wright And Dr. Randa Ryan. Assistant athletic director (and former swim coach) Ryan had the honor of getting academic failure/star forward PJ Tucker back on the eligible list — despite committing the most retarded shot clock violation in the history of ever with five secon...
Texas A&M Aggies
1. Texas A&M Has No Cheerleaders. The Aggie Dictionary will inform you that the school has no cheerleaders, but they do have a dance team, none of whom are particularly good looking. 2. The Coach Is Dull. Head coach Billy Gillispie has his own Web site, where you can learn such things as "Billy Gil...
David Wells: More Fun Than Should Be Allowed
How great is it, honestly, to have David Wells around? We're almost sorry to see the Red Sox pitcher come back from that knee injury, because it means he'll be busy again. And we've learned that an idle David Wells is an entertaining David Wells — it's kind of like if Gary Busey all of a sudden sh...
Man, America Gets All The Breaks
We're half an hour away from USA baseball's second game in the World Baseball Classic, facing Jason Bay and some other Canadians. (We're really enjoying the Cuba-Panama game that's on right, now, by the way.) We're fully aware that seeing Alex Rodriguez in a United States uniform makes most of you...
Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Red Sox
We re less than a month from Opening Day, so it s time to start previewing the season. Inspired by an old feature on The Black Table, we re going team-by-team and distributing Four Things You Don t Know about them. If you have suggested oddities on your team, send them to us at [email protected]. ...
You Can Own Jim Thome's Home
One of our favorite games to play around here is showing you houses recently traded athletes put for sale on the open market. We showed you Terrell Owens' $4.3 million pad and Manny Ramirez' $6.9 million penthouse....
College Basketball Games Worthy Of Just One Network
Observe as I attempt to do this without using the b-word that rhymes with "stubble."...
Oh, If Only They Wore Cups In Basketball
If you're one of the lucky ones who opened your morning Bryan-College Station Eagle on Thursday and found a large penis staring back at you, well, congratulations. No, it wasn't one of the paper's newer promotions (find the wiener, win a Mexican cruise!), just a goof by an editor who didn't scruti...
Get Along, Little Aggie
On the heels of Texas A&M's upset of Texas last night for its biggest win of the year, the Texas bloggers are getting revenge....
Yeah, It's A Fight. We Get It
Show of hands: Is anyone still interested in the boxers-shouting-at-each-other-and-then-it-nearly-comes-to-blows-at-the-press-conference routine? The last time that was fresh, we think, was when Max Baer insulted Jim Braddock's wife in 1938. But they continue to do it, for some reason. The latest...
Yeah, Damon Back At Fenway Should Be Fun
A reader, calling himself (ominously) "the Hector Villanueva Posse," writes in from Boston to give us this photo of Johnny Damon memorabilia being drastically cut down in price in Boston....
Setting The Vince Young Record Straight
All the buzz yesterday at the NFL Combine in Indianapolis — because when something's buzzing in Indianapolis, it can be heard everywhere — involved a supposed score of "6" by Texas quarterback Vince Young on his Wonderlic test. (To wit, realizing that the pen they give is to be written with, and n...
Anna Benson on Fox News. It Had To Happen Sometime.
Anna Benson, who I believe has had her own teeth surgically replaced by those of Andre the Giant, did an interview on the Fox News channel on Thursday. It creeps me out in a variety of ways. Her gigantic smile is just one of them....
That Looks Like It Hurts
Those of you who woke up with a little bit of a hangover this morning can be thankful for at least one thing: You aren't Fernando Vargas. Look at that eye, man. That is disgusting. Who'd he fight, Deebo? I think that growth just scored an 11 on the Wonderlic....
If Your Wonderlic Score Is Lower Than Your Jersey Number...
...then it's unfortunate that you're wearing #10. It's being reported by profootballtalk.com that Vince Young scored a six on the Wonderlic test. That's six. S-i-x. 6....
You Shouldn't Taunt a Longhorn, Probably
On Wednesday, we brought you the delicious, syrupy-sweet dreams of Texas Longhorns football draft prospect Michael Huff. Today, the news is a little more serious and heated. CBS SportsLine has released its top 10 NFL quarterback prospects, and let us just say that Longhorns fans are not pleased. V...
Things To Do In Albuquerque When You're Drunk
How to know when you have a drinking problem:...
Tonya Harding, The Female Butterbean
The Sports Pulse takes a look back at the rise and fall (mostly fall) of Tonya Harding over the past twelve years. It's hard not to think about her and Nancy Kerrigan when the Winter Olympics roll around. It was a time when it was OK to be a figure skater and not appear to still going through pube...