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I Don't Like This Mascot
Meet Hunter, the Edmonton Oilers’ new mascot. Clap! Clap for Hunter! Clap for Hunter or he’ll eat you! He feeds on your applause, or he will feed upon your children....
Dustin Pedroia Scores Winning Run By Dancing Around Rays Catcher
Dustin Pedroia scored an incredibly wacky run today, jumping around Rays catcher Luke Maile and eventually putting his nuts in Maile’s face to give the Red Sox their 11th straight win....
Ken Starr Believes Art Briles Is The True Victim In Baylor's Sexual Assault Scandal
Former Baylor chancellor Ken Starr (yes, that Ken Starr) praised the character of ousted head football coach Art Briles, saying he felt Briles had been the object of a “grave injustice,” in a Saturday interview with the Texas Tribune....
How The Hell Do The Patriots Do It?
Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels are rightly being universally praised for the game plan that resulted in last night’s complete ass whupping of the incompetent Texans. But the Patriots’ 3-0 start with a pair of inexperienced quarterbacks not named Tom Brady, and a total of 14 snaps with banged-up R...
The Texans Were Tremendously Incompetent
The Patriots entered tonight’s game against the Texans as slight underdogs at home, despite a history of destroying Houston anytime they had a chance, especially at home. The Patriots were starting a rookie quarterback, the Texans came in hot at 2-0, and Gronk looked banged up, but the Patriots are ...
What Do You Get For The Baseball Player Who Has Everything? A Busted Up Phone Box
Let’s go back to 2013. David Ortiz was putting together an all-star season at 37 years old, but on one July night in Baltimore, he was melting down. After arguing with umpire Tim Timmons’ strike zone, Papi got ejected. So he went back into the Red Sox dugout and destroyed the in-dugout phone....
Text Messages Show Ex-Auburn Football Player Saying "I'm Sorry" To Woman Who Said He Raped Her
Two weeks ago, Auburn tight end Landon Rice left the football team due to what coach Gus Malzahn said were “personal reasons.” Those reasons, it turned out, were actually a rape investigation by police and a request for a restraining order filed by the woman who said Rice raped her. Rice’s lawyers r...
MacArthur Genius Grants: Not Worth It
Before you ask, the answer is no—I have never won a MacArthur Genius Grant. Nor did I win this year. And thank god for that....
Landon Donovan And I Would Like To Announce Our Availability For The USMNT
In some ways, Landon Donovan and I are very different people. He is an internationally famous and widely beloved MLS legend who just recently decided to unretire from the sport he was born to play and rejoin the L.A. Galaxy. I am a largely anonymous yet widely loathed MLS hater who never played prof...
The Time Norm Macdonald Bombed So Hard On <i>Star Search </i>That Even Ed McMahon Didn't Laugh
The following is excerpted from Norm Macdonald’s new book Based On A True Story: A Memoir. It is out now from Spiegel & Grau, and it is very, very funny....
Don King Says "Nigger" While Introducing Donald Trump
Donald Trump, a big scarecrow made of uncooked bratwursts, is still trying to court black voters. To that end, he had undead boxing promoter Don King introduce him to an audience gathered at a church in Cleveland, Ohio this morning....
Rangers' Double Play Breaks Mike Scioscia's Spirit
Los Angeles Angels manager Mike Scioscia always looks like an anxious bloodhound, but his heart broke in half on TV after Texas Rangers pitcher Nick Martinez started a double play with a behind-the-back catch....
David Ortiz Gets Taunted By Fan, Homers, Taunts Back
David Ortiz is the closest thing this era of baseball has to a real-life folk hero. Not only is he a hobbled, 40-year-old man who somehow leads all of baseball in OPS, he’s a dude who can still dunk on mouthy fans....
Look At This Map, America Is The Greatest Country In The World
I probably spent 40 percent of my time in grade school reading those cheap books on either strange local laws or dirty-sounding place names. This map was made for me....
USC Is Already A Mess
This past weekend, USC got stomped out by Stanford. That such a development is barely a blip on the radar is, as others have pointed out, alarming in an of itself from the USC perspective, and already first-year head coach Clay Helton appears to be cracking under the pressure....
How To Poach An Egg In The Microwave And Plan Your Lunches All Week
In case anyone is keeping track, I should note that this will be the last Lunchbox for a little while. We’re going on a hiatus that will test my ability to eat anything other than cheesy popcorn for lunch without the accountability of a blog post. Rather than go out with a sophisticated—and complica...
Mookie Betts Is So Damn Mean To The Orioles
Mookie Betts—currently hitting .314/.356/.541 with 31 home runs, 24 steals, and 40 doubles—may very well end up being the American League MVP. If he wins the award, he should thank the Baltimore Orioles during his acceptance speech....
Rick Porcello Got Into It With Manny Machado And<em></em> Pitched The Most Efficient Game Of The Season
Rick Porcello has been the anchor of the Red Sox’s rotation all year, and tonight, he put forth his best game of the season, and the most efficient game anyone has pitched all year. It only took him 89 pitches to take care of the Orioles tonight, 65 of which were strikes. That’s the fewest pitches i...
![Ex-Baylor Player Indicted For Sexual Assault Allowed Into Team Locker Room [Updated]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/zzptcgxownblxdlkaiun.jpg)
Ex-Baylor Player Indicted For Sexual Assault Allowed Into Team Locker Room [Updated]
Art Briles and Shawn Oakman were in attendance for Baylor’s 38-10 win over Rice on Friday, a surprise, considering the former head coach is in the early stages of his faux-apology tour and the former defensive end is awaiting his day in court after being indicted for sexual assault....