x Page 537 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sue Bird Just Murdered The Phoenix Mercury In Cold Blood
Despite a broken nose, some poor early shooting, and a terrifyingly talented underdog opponent that wouldn’t give up, Seattle Storm point guard Sue Bird became absolutely deadly when it mattered most. Tonight, in the deciding game of their semifinal, Bird buried the Phoenix Mercury with just a flat-...
José Abreu Needed Emergency Surgery To Save A "Strangled" Testicle
White Sox first baseman José Abreu hasn’t played in a couple weeks, a result of an ambiguous outpatient “lower abdominal surgery” he reportedly underwent on August 20. Hernioplasty? Appendectomy? A testicle that twisted around and became tangled up in its own [passes out cold]:...
USA Gymnastics Boss Kerry Perry Is Forced Out After Nine Scandal-Plagued Months
Kerry Perry, we hardly knew ya. This is mostly because in the nine months that you were in charge of USA Gymnastics, you avoided the media like it was the plague and you had a high deductible health insurance plan. But just because Perry, who was asked to resign by USAG’s board on Tuesday, never rea...
Roger Goodell Is Every Bit The Overcompensating Dipshit He Seems To Be
Excerpted from Big Game: The NFL In Dangerous Times, out today from Penguin Press....
Did This Duck Rally Real Salt Lake To Victory Over LA Galaxy?
LA Galaxy entered Rio Tinto Stadium on Saturday hoping to get a win and keep their playoff hopes alive against Real Salt Lake. However, any preparations the team made for this matchup went right out the window when a duck interrupted play in the 32nd minute....
John Elway And The Broncos Admit Defeat On First-Round Pick Paxton Lynch
Broncos GM John Elway’s reputation for assessing quarterback talent took another hit today when the team announced that they were cutting Paxton Lynch from their 53-man roster to make room for Kevin Hogan. Denver took Lynch in the first round of the 2016 NFL Draft with the 26th overall pick....
Possibly T.J. Vasher Is Inspector Gadget
Ole Miss beat up Texas Tech Saturday afternoon, eventually winning 47–27 behind 336 yards passing and a pair of touchdowns by senior quarterback Jordan Ta’amu. Having gotten that out of the way, let us gawk, slack-jawed, at this spectacular catch from Texas Tech sophomore receiver T.J. Vasher:...
WNBA Players Aren't Actually Trashing NBA Players, But They Are Fighting For Fair Pay
This week, the internet passed around several quotes by WNBA stars who called out their NBA counterparts and asked for better pay. Those quotes are all very fake. Supposedly Dallas Wings player Skylar Diggins-Smith bagged on LeBron James for being unskilled, and Phoenix Mercury center Brittney Grine...
J.D. Martinez Follows In The Footsteps Of Red Sox Greats, Like Curt Schilling
Red Sox outfielder J.D. Martinez will always have a gun on him, according to his 2013 Instagram post featuring a quote never actually said by Hitler. Wouldn’t that be dangerous if he dove for a fly ball?...
Butthead Knicks "Fan" Has Just The Dumbest Reason For Selling His Fandom On eBay
Warning: If you read what is on the other side of this link, soon you will want to do murder, and possibly even self murder. It’s an Ian Begley story about an attention-hungry millennial doofus who sold his NBA fandom to an even more desperately attention-hungry millennial doofus for an irritatingly...
Adam Engel Makes Heroic Catch Despite Assault From Yankee Stadium Grass
Adam Engel has earned himself a bit of a reputation as a Yankee-killer this season, thanks to a tendency for the otherwise unspectacular White Sox centerfielder to make terrific grabs against the Bronx Bombers. Tonight, Yankee Stadium thought they might take some revenge on the home team’s fielding ...
Texas A&M Whistleblower Booted By Arizona After Video Surfaces Of Him Calling Black Players "Monkeys"
Last week, former Texas A&M linebacker Santino Marchiol accused his former school of a spate of NCAA violations, in an effort to make his case that he should be allowed to play for Arizona this year because his transfer out of A&M was due to “hardships,” the only way he’d be allowed to play in 2018....
Every Ruling Is Still Going Against Larry Nassar
Larry Nassar is 0 for 2 so far in appeals of his state and federal prison sentences. First, he lost his appeal of his federal sentence for child porn. And today, his appeal of his sentence in Ingham County, Mich., was denied by Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, the same judge his court-appointed attorneys u...
Report: Baylor Secretly Infiltrated Sexual Assault Survivor Groups
According to a report from PR Week, Baylor officials placed a mole within several support groups for sexual assault survivors as a way to control their messaging and keep the university from looking bad....
Tom Brady Hangs Up On Radio Interview After Questions About His Shady Trainer
Tom Brady cut short his contractually obligated Monday morning interview with WEEI after repeated questions about Alex Guerrero, Brady’s “guru” and business partner, and his seemingly resumed close relationship with the Patriots. It’s the second time in a month Brady has walked out when Guerrero’s n...
Icy Dead People
Flyers goalie Alex Lyon will apparently wear a mask commemorating goofy M. Night Shyamalan horror flick The Sixth Sense this upcoming season....
Report: Turns Out It Was DJ Durkin Who Meddled In That Sexual Misconduct Case
Former Maryland athletic director Kevin Anderson took a beating this week from the university when it was revealed that athletic department funds were diverted to hire and retain a lawyer to represent two players accused of sexual misconduct in 2017. Now it appears that Anderson might’ve been a fall...
Disgruntled Heavyweight Underdog Flees Ring Immediately After Opening Bell
Hot-shot heavyweight Efe Ajagba came into Friday night’s televised bout in Minneapolis a pristine 5–0 as a professional, with all five fights ending in knockouts, and four of those ending in the first round. He went to bed Friday night still undefeated, having notched his fifth first-round victory, ...
Here's The Special Issue Of The MSU Alumni Magazine On Sexual Abuse That Was Spiked By School President John Engler
Back in June, the Detroit Free Press reported that Michigan State president John Engler spiked a special issue of the alumni magazine that was supposed to focus exclusively on the Larry Nassar sex abuse scandal, the victims, and the fallout. Such an issue seemed like a natural thing for the magazin...
