x Page 689 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watch Ron Burgundy Anchor An Actual Newscast In North Dakota
There's a new Anchorman movie coming out, which means Will Ferrell is making the rounds in character—ranging from Dodge ads to Canadian curling coverage. Tonight, he dropped by the studios of KXMB in Bismarck, North Dakota to co-anchor the CBS affiliate's broadcast following the Alabama-Auburn game....

Mike Tyson Talks About Sex In Jail And Florence Henderson
Mike Tyson stopped by The Arsenio Hall Show this week. Tyson and Hall talked about partying, life in jail—Tyson had more experience than Hall for that one—and how one of Tyson's prosecutors came to see his one-man show, Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth. Having sex in jail also came up. "I was very fort...

This Thanksgiving Be Thankful You Are Not An Asshole Truck
How's my driving? the "Swift" truck's rear end quaintly asks. Fuck you. That's how's your driving. Tractor trailers, semis, trucks, whatever you want to call them are the absolute, no-doubt-about-it worst. Traveling Interstate 80 through the entirety of Pennsylvania and this same scene will play out...

Bama Fan Pol Accused Of Soliciting Sex From Child Pleads Impotent
Former Mobile County commissioner Freeman Jockisch is facing charges of soliciting sex from a 15-year-old girl on Craigslist, but he's not letting those accusations get in the way of his Alabama fandom. A crimson-clad Jockisch told WPMI he can't possibly be guilty of trying to have sex with a child...

A.J. McCarron, Boring Heisman Hopeful: 125 FBS Teams, Ranked
Each week during college football season we put the conventional polls to shame by ranking every FBS team from 1-125, by whatever standard we see fit. As always, last week's rankings were not consulted....

A Guide For Cleaning Every Possible Thanksgiving Stain (Like Blood)
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....

Got Thanksgiving Cooking Questions? Come Chat With Some Food Types
We're pleased to be joined by Sarah Sprague of KSK, Spilly of SB Nation, and Amanda Hesser, former food editor of The New York Times Magazine and founder of Food52. Jolie Kerr, Will Gordon, and I are here, too. We're all hanging out down below in the discussion, awaiting your Thanksgiving food and...

The Bronx Is Burning
But that doesn't mean you should stop playing. ...

Ajax Beat Barcelona To Keep Their Champions League Hopes Alive
Netherlands side Ajax hosted Spanish giants FC Barcelona today in a must-win match to keep their hopes of qualifying for the Champions League knockout stage alive. AC Milan, ahead of Ajax by a single point, thumped Celtic by three goals in Group H's other match today, which meant that a loss would e...

Alex Rodriguez's MLB Lawsuit Now Includes This Dumb Photo
Alex Rodriguez's legal team has updated his lawsuit against MLB with new "evidence" that Bud Selig has it out for him, including the above photo. ...

Should You Transfer Colleges If You're Miserable?
Before I get to the Funbag, a quick programming note: There WILL be a Jamboroo column on Thanksgiving. It should run early before the games start. So be on the lookout for that while your mom makes you spoon cranberry sauce out of a can because she doesn't trust you with the important cooking duti...

The Browns Signed A Quarterback Best Known For His Trick-Shot Video
Viral videos are a double-edged sword. On one hand, a trick-shot video helped a D-III quarterback like Monmouth College's Alex Tanney gain national recognition. On the other hand, he'll have to do something pretty damn special to become something other than "the guy who made that trick-shot video. N...

Does Manny Pacquiao Have Any Money Left?
Manny Pacquiao claims he has had to borrow tens of thousands of dollars to send relief to victims of Typhoon Haiyan, because his bank accounts have been frozen by the Philippine government as it pursues $50 million in back taxes it claims he owes....

Requiem For A Welterweight
I'm late on this but in case you missed it do yourself a favor and check out Brin-Jonathan Butler's portrait of Manny Pacquiao for SB Nation Longform:...

Chase Cut To
The Busy Body Lounge, a strip club in Evansville, Ind., is causing controversy with a sign that promises a free blow job with each dance. Which is exactly the idea. (To create controversy, not to promise sex with a lapdance. Although that's also the idea.)...

Coaches: High School And Its 20-Year-Old Star "Stole" D.C. Hoops Title
Long after the credits should have rolled in the soap opera that was Junior Etou's high school basketball career, we have a plot twist....

Cheap Bourbons, Ranked
Each year around mid-August, publicists start burying everyone in the food journalizing racket with ideas for Thanksgiving coverage. Most of their emails concern ways in which a client, usually a lesser television chef or an agricultural marketing board, can enhance your stuffing with this or that u...

Kobe Bryant Signs Two-Year Extension, Will Be NBA's Highest-Paid Player
It looks like Kobe Bryant is going to be a Laker for life. Making a move that nobody was really expecting, the Lakers just announced that they have signed Bryant to a two-year extension, and he didn't come cheap....

Andre Johnson Is Sad
This afternoon, the Texans, who suck, lost to the Jaguars, who suck to some really historic degrees. That has made a lot of people in Houston sad, and apparently introspective. People like Andre Johnson. Here he is talking to a delightfully trolly ESPN reporter: ...
