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The United States Does Not Have An Official Language, No Matter What The MLB Network Tells You
The establishment of an official language has long been a political flashpoint. Though it was once a favored cause for Presidents of generally good repute, it's now mostly a topic invoked to effortlessly rile up nativists and a touchstone for people hell-bent on alienating furr-uh-nurrs. Ordinances ...

High School Softball Coach Suspended For Sending His Players Out To Find Him Dates, Just Days After Starting The Job
Troy Hennum, the 25-year-old softball coach at Roosevelt HS in Seattle, started work last week. It took him until Monday to be placed on unpaid leave after sending his players out on a scavenger hunt. Their mission: take photos of "cute girls" and get their phone numbers for him....

Star Akron Guard Alex Abreu Busted On Felony Drug Trafficking Charges
The Akron Zips will be without the services of starting point guard Alex Abreu after the All-MAC junior found himself in jail today facing multiple felony charges....

Carl Crawford Says The Boston Media "Was The Worst Thing I've Ever Experienced In My Life"
Carl Crawford spent most of two miserable, injury-plagued, lucrative seasons in Boston. But he's a free man, having been shipped to L.A. when the Red Sox decided to blow up everything. He's fighting lingering effects from Tommy John surgery, and may not be ready for opening day, but at least he's fo...

The 10 Supplements You Actually Need
Men's Health, a magazine for men who are healthy and dumb, will tell you that there are 10 supplements that you, the fitness-seeking man, "actually need." Oh really? You can't go to the gym without "Coenzyme Q10?" You can't work out unless you're shoveling glucosamine powder down your gullet? It tak...

Tuesday Night Fights: A.J. Daulerio On Why You Must Dress "Slutty, Sexy" To Avoid A Beatdown In Southwest Philly
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "HOOD FIGHTS|At the Club Sikira in Philadelphia, PA (women edition)." Tonight's commentator: Deadspin Editor Emeritus A.J. Daulerio. (Coming next week: The Fremont Stre...

In Canada, Beware Of Flying Footballs To The Face During Footwork Drills
Taylor Renaud, a former wide receiver for Nova Scotia's Acadia University, is here to teach us this valuable lesson. Renaud was working out with his roommate, Mike Benson, the long-snapper for the CFL's Edmonton Eskimos and another former Acadia player. Benson was supposed to throw the ball to Ren...

This Is What Happens When Newspaper Design Tries To Get Creative
Via Reddit and Bryan Armen Graham, the front of the C section of today's Mankato (Minn.) Free Press. That doesn't even look like a "G."...

Fox Sports 1, The ESPN "Alternative," Starts In August, And Regis Philbin Is Involved
"Fans are ready for an alternative to the establishment," reads the press release announcing the Aug. 17 launch of Fox Sports 1. That's how big ESPN is: In the sports world, Rupert Murdoch is considered the scrappy alternative....

The Best (Or Maybe Worst) NBA Rule-Change Idea You'll Ever Hear
I was in New York on business last week (as much as what I do can be called "business" with a straight face) and I was working out of this office building downtown one morning when I had to go take a shit. So I grabbed my guest pass, beeped my way through a set of hallway doors (I always pretend I'm...

Red Sox Pitcher Clocked At 111 MPH (While Driving Drunk)
That would be Sidd Finch territory, if it was the speed of his fastball and not the speed of his pickup truck....

Matt Schaub Says The NFL Will Never Evolve Beyond The Pocket Passer
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Schaub thinks Wilson, Kaepernick, and RG3 are just aberrations....

Leaked Memo: How Texas Tech Could Craft The Image Of Its New Coach And Become "The Hippest School In The Game"
A tipster sends along the following email, which was originally sent from Stephen Spiegelberg, a Texas Tech alum and proprietor of Lubbock clothing store Chrome, to Joe Parker, the deputy athletics director at Texas Tech. According to the tipster, the message was bcc'd to a few of Texas Tech's regen...

Report From The Future: Colby Rasmus Says His Quotes About John Farrell Were Taken Out Of Context
We can probably start a countdown because this will likely be walked back shortly. That's usually what happens when a quote starts "I'm not trying to bash anybody by starting up crap..." and does not end in a period. It's the "but" that gets you....

Here's A Photo Of UCLA Head Coach Ben Howland, In A Tracksuit, Playing Beer Pong With Students Last Night
From the game day campout live-blog at the Daily Bruin (and via Twitter), here's a picture of notoriously sorta grumpy UCLA basketball coach Ben Howland, looking extremely relaxed last night in advance of today's game against #11 ranked Arizona at Pauley Pavilion (9 p.m. EST, ESPN)....

Alex Rodriguez Only Gave $5,090 Of The $403,862 He Raised For Charity To Charity
The Boston Globe dug through the world of shady athlete charities this week, and while many of their findings were disappointing (if not surprising), we'd be remiss if we didn't highlight one charge in particular. It's been a while since anyone thought Alex Rodriguez was a stand-up guy, but this see...

CNN Sports Guy Asks News Anchor How Many Hot Dogs She Can Eat, Is "Turned On" By Her Answer
When CNN ditched Sports Illustrated as its in-house sports arm and instead went to new acquisition Bleacher Report last month, we were alarmed. After all, SI has decades of work attesting to its journalistic pedigree while b/r has this. We expected Bleacher Report to quickly drag CNN down to its "...

"Change This Face. Be Happy. Enjoy!" Says Ricky Rubio To A Bummed Out Alexey Shved
Man, why can't we live in a world where Ricky Rubio magically appears whenever we're having a bad day and tells us to turn our frowns upside down? Spilled coffee on your new shirt? Poof! There's Ricky reminding you that sea otters hold hands when they sleep next to each other so they don't float a...

Yet Another Weird Baseball Injury: Elvis Andrus Sits With Tattoo Soreness
Rangers SS Elvis Andrus is not in the lineup today, having been scratched with "Silly Non-Baseball-Related Malady." It's very common, especially in spring training. This particular incidence took the form of muscle soreness, caused by a giant tattoo....
