x Page 829 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Official, World's Dumbest Criminal Found After Trying To Sell Weed To His Old Parole Officer
We find our man, Cedrick Barnes, in Florence, South Carolina. It seems Cedrick had some extra weed laying around and thought to himself, "I should really sell this stuff." So Cedrick did what any one of us would have: he started cold-calling everyone in his cell phone contacts to see if anyone want...
Richard Marx Goes Yard Off Dennis Eckersley, Chicago Cubs Win World Series
I have no idea how I don't remember this video, because I definitely remember the song. Maybe you don't remember it either. Maybe we buried it deep within our collective subconscious....
Penn State Offered To Rename Beaver Stadium After Joe Paterno So His Family Would Not Sue The School
Penn State and the Paterno family have quickly morphed from college football royalty to a sad episode of The Bickersons in a matter of months. After unceremoniously firing Paterno in the wake of his laissez-faire handling of the Jerry Sandusky allegations, the school offered certain concessions to ...
Red Sox Fan Really Wants You To See His Nipple
We're guessing this fellow wasn't feeling so flash-y an inning or so later....
Bobby Valentine Should Be Fired: A Collection
While Fox was patiently waiting for just the right moment to switch over to Philip Humber's in-progress perfect game, the Red Sox were playing out the final innings of a blowout win over the Yankees. Around the time Humber recorded the first out in the ninth, Fox switched over and being in New York...
Philip Humber Has Pitched Major League Baseball's 21st Perfect Game Of The Modern Era
Journeyman pitcher Philip Humber joined the list of hurlers to have completed pitching's most difficult feat when he shut down the Seattle Mariners and led his Chicago White Sox to a 4-0 win at Safeco with a nine-strikeout perfect game, the modern era's 21st....
Penn State Admits Official Fired Earlier This Week Was Fired For His Role In Sandusky Investigation
In an admission that shocks absolutely no one, unnamed sources within the Penn State athletic department have confirmed that associate athletic director Mark Sherburne was fired this week for his role in the investigation of child sex abuse claims against former coach Jerry Sandusky and the adminis...
NHL Suspends Raffi Torres 25 Games For Hit On Marian Hossa
Earlier today the NHL announced that Raffi Torres will be suspended for 25 games for this violent hit on Marian Hossa....
<i>New York Post</i> Front Page Kicks Nonsensical Ass
Fenway Park has been in the news a lot of late. There was the touching Field of Dreams-inspired story of the father and son who built their own replica Fenway in the vastness of Oregon. Then the drunken awkwardness of those loveable idiots, Cowboy Up himself and the Yankees' favorite son. And, of c...
Welsh Rugby Out To Kill All Kinds Of Popes, Not Just The Catholic Ones
This story is strange on a number of levels. In 2008, two Welsh doctors discovered that going back to 1883, five roman Catholic Popes had died whenever Wales rugby won the Grand Slam. The Grand Slam, of course, is when one team in the annual Six Nations Championship beats all the other teams in a g...
McCarve'd Up: Your Weekly Look At The Stupidest Things Tim McCarver Said During Saturday's Game
MLB on FOX lead analyst Tim McCarver is entering a new phase of his career: the one in which he must be referred to as "Hall of Fame broadcaster Tim McCarver." Thus, we enter the 2012 baseball season wondering if McCarver might actually step up his game and provide color commentary worthy of such a...
Pedro Martinez And Kevin Millar Delivered A Boozy, Awkward Toast To Fenway Before Today's Game
A lengthy ceremony recognizing the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park before today's Yankees-Red Sox game came to a close with former Sox stars Kevin Millar and Pedro Martinez offering a toast, sort of, to the stadium—while sounding a bit like they'd been rehearsing it for some time. (The Red Sox a...
Derek Jeter Is Still Trying To Sell His Apartment (Now $2 Million Cheaper!)
Time (again) to picture what it would be like to be the next owner of Derek Jeter's apartment, where he's lived for the last 11 years....
Czech Women Will Use You As A Bodyguard
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Oregon Father And Son Build 1/3-Scale Fenway Park Replica On Their Farm
What was your backyard like? Perhaps you had a tire swing, or a play structure, or an above-ground pool. My yard abutted wetlands; mosquitos rose angrily every spring. Chances are, whatever you had, it wasn't as cool as what Jim Maciariello and his son Ben built in Drain, Oregon....
For Just $34.99 Plus Tax Plus Shipping And Handling, This Plain White Cap Can Be Yours
To celebrate the hundredth anniversary of Fenway Park, both the Highlanders Yankees and the Red Sox will be wearing 1912 throwback uniforms for this afternoon's game. Here's New York's old-timey duds; here's Boston's. ...
The Suns Shut Down And Beat Up Blake Griffin
Blake Griffin was unstoppable in the first quarter, going 7-for-13 from the field. Phoenix regrouped, and turned the game into something more closely rembling Atari's Basketbrawl, and what do you know: it worked. Griffin didn't score another field goal the rest of the game....
College Newspaper Captures Euphoria Of Historic Upset With Headline Alluding To Masturbation
Division II Francis Marion University (S.C.) knocked off defending Division I national champ South Carolina in a baseball game on April 11. FMU's student paper is a weekly, and even though the edition chronicling the big win wasn't published until this week, the upset was still enough to merit front...
Another Fan's Been Caught Running Onto The Field Of A Major League Game, Except This One's A Little Kid
The rash of streakers at MLB parks continued today on the south side of Chicago, as a young pup undoubtedly fueled by Skittles and apple juice ran onto the field in the top of the seventh inning of today's Orioles-White Sox game. Unlike previous offenders, he avoided harsh on-field punishment; Wh...
Soccer Is Not Like Sex
I'm going to let you in on one of the secrets of the internet: people like clicking on things about sex. Like, maybe you wandered over to the Fox Sports home page today, and you saw the headline "Score! European study says soccer like sex for fans." You probably clicked on it! I know I did....