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College ShameDay: Answering The Questions You Weren't Asking About The Early Bowl Games
Our weekly college football shame index previews the pre-Christmas bowls. ...

The Yankees' Lineup Is Going To Be Very Sad And Old This Season
The Yankees finally made their big free-agent splash this week, when they signed Kevin Youkilis, an aging third basemen with bad hips, to fill in for Alex Rodriguez, their incumbent aging third basemen with bad hips. OK, maybe it was less a "splash" than a "thud." Youkilis was terrible last year, p...

Happy Birthday, Ryan Boys! Looking Back At 100 Combined Years Of Rex and Rob
Rex and Rob Ryan turn 50 today. That's 100 years of Oklahoma-born, Ontario-raised, Illinois-and-Oklahoma-schooled, good-ole-boy-defensive-mastermindedness. We take this moment to look back fondly on all the joy the two—seen here in their college days—have given us. ...

How Maurice Clarett Lost His Way, Bombed Out Of The NFL, Planned A Murder, Missed An Exit, And Found Himself (And Warren Buffett) In Prison
In 2009, Joe Moglia, then the CEO of TD Ameritrade, quit his job to coach football. He wanted to coach a college team. But no athletic director wanted him. So he took a job, in 2011, as head coach of the UFL's Omaha Nighthawks, a team that included former Buckeye Maurice Clarett. Moglia had an unort...

Luncheon Meats, Ranked
24. Bologna 23. Head cheese 22. Swiss cheese 18. (tie) Olive loaf 18. (tie) Pickle-and-pimento loaf 18. (tie) Dutch loaf 18. (tie) Chicken loaf 17. Sopressata 16. Chicken breast 15. Boiled ham 14. Genoa salami 13. Smoked turkey 12. Turkey 11. Liverwurst 10. Braunschweiger 9. Hard salami 8. Virginia ...

Manny Pacquiao's Entourage Allegedly Attacked A Photographer For Taking Pictures Of Knocked-Out Pacquiao
According to Yahoo Sports, two members of Manny Pacquiao's entourage attacked photographer Al Bello because he was taking pictures of the knocked-out Pacquiao at the conclusion of Saturday's fight. Bello spoke to Yahoo, which also has photos of the incident, about the the alleged attack yesterday:...

Tommy Tuberville Literally Left Texas Tech In The Middle Of A Dinner With Texas Tech Recruits
Tommy Tuberville left Texas Tech for Cincinnati this weekend, an odd occurrence that left the athletic department at Texas Tech "completely blindsided." Also blindsided by Tuberville's exit: The recruits with whom he was having dinner, when Tuberville left—to go to the bathroom? to take a phone call...

Ronjohn Dadd Was Robbed: <em>Inside Lacrosse's</em> All-Name Team Is Here
It's that time of year again. Inside Lacrosse has once again blessed us with its annual all-name team, compiling a list of the preppiest-named lax bros in the country. This year's list is an impressive one, and once again includes a collection of aristocratically named female players. We do have on...

Tuesday Night Fights: This Russian Pop Star Fight Totally Bummed Rodney Anonymous Out, Too
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Street fight for pop star (Russia)." Tonight's commentator: occasional Deadspin contributor Rodney Anonymous of the Dead Milkmen....

Giant Animatronic T-Rex Forces Australian PGA Championship To Relocate
Australia is a busy, unsettling place. It's not quite Fort Wayne (where else is, you know?), but there's still a lot going on there....

Who Has The Funnier Challenge-Flag-Throwing Motion, Rex Ryan Or Chan Gailey?
The Deadspin NFL Coach Challenge Challenge is a tournament pitting the throwing motions of 20 NFL coaches against one another....

The Patriots Did Not Shut Down J.J. Watt Last Night
Reading what people have written about splendid Texans defensive end J.J. Watt from last night's Patriots romp, you'd think New England's line squashed Watt. "Kudos to Dante Scarnecchia and the New England offensive line for keeping Brady so clean," Peter King tweeted. "Texans standout defensive end...

Six Great Things That Turn Horrible When You Grow Old
Your letters:...

Photoshop Contest: Knocked-Out Manny Pacquiao
The knockout that Manny Pacquiao suffered at the hands of Juan Márquez on Saturday night was one of the most vicious you will ever see. While the boxing world continues to reel at the Pac-Man's downfall, we just can't stop laughing at the sight of Pacquiao laying unconscious on the mat, his arms tu...

Even Danny Woodhead's Butterfingers Can't Stop New England From Scoring: Patriots-Texans In Four GIFs
New England 42, Houston 14: Tom Brady had four touchdowns and 296 yards. Matt Schaub? He also participated in the game. New England running backs accounted for 127 yards rushing and another touchdown. Houston running backs had 99 yards and one touchdown. The Patriots ran only two more plays, but out...

Chicago Man Stabs Bar Patron In The Neck, Throws His Own Shit All Over A Police Station
Having to go the bathroom at a bar is the worst. It always smells like piss and shit, everything is either soaking wet or sticky, drunk dudes always want to strike up a conversation, and sometimes crazy people jump out from the bathroom stall and stab you in the neck with a broken beer bottle. From...

Manny Pacquiao's Mom Thinks He Lost Because He's No Longer A Catholic
Manny Pacquiao got knocked out on a devastating punch by Juan Manuel Márquez in the sixth round. Like many people, Filipinos were in utter shock to see their idol faceplant in the ring. Pacquiao's mom, however, provided a rational, well thought-out reason as to why her son lost his welterweight bou...

The Shitty Parent's Guide To Children's Christmas Presents
Christmas is coming, which gives you a golden opportunity to squander money and add to the mounting clutter inside your home. There are millions of options when it comes to buying presents for your children and then pretending that Santa gave them those presents and then resenting the fact that the ...

The Texas Longhorns' Basketball Season In A Nutshell: This Blown Layup In A Game They Lost By 2
Yesterday's UCLA-Texas game from Reliant Stadium in Houston was billed as a battle between two college basketball heavyweights. For the 2,797 who showed up (it was, we hear, even less than that in reality) it was instead a bout between lousy squads that are but a shadow of the competitive teams th...

A Bloodied Juan Manuel Márquez Annihilated Manny Pacquiao With This Brutal Sixth-Round Knockout Punch
The fourth iteration of Pacquiao-Márquez did not disappoint, coming to the end at 2:59 of the sixth round when Juan Manuel Márquez connected flush with Pac-Man's face and dropped him to the mat, winning by TKO....