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Deadspin Up All Night: Chat Away, Amigos y Amigas
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. This space is for you....

How Rex Ryan Created The New-Look Patriots
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Meet The Minor Leaguer And Scam Artist Who Sold A Pittsburgh Pirate To Australia
Surely it was a surprising development when Pirates outfielder Xavier Paul agreed to sign with the Brisbane Bandits of the Australian Baseball League this season. But his agent dotted the I's and crossed the T's, and Brisbane rolled out the red carpet for Paul to make his debut last week....

Biggest Presidential Penis: WHO YA GOT?!
Before we get to the Funbag this week, I'm in Brooklyn for a Gelf Magazine thing on Thursday if you feel like going. It's at Pacific Standard. Afterwards, we can all get drunk and watch Tebow run the T formation against the Jets. Also, I'll be at the National Press Club book fair tonight signing boo...

My Peach-Cobbler Hallucination About LeBron James, PCP, Outlaw Bikers, Cocks, Abortion, And Suicide
When LeBron James stood up the Cavs live on ESPN last season, Esquire writer Scott Raab took his 50-plus years of sad-sack Cleveland sports fandom and became a one-man hate machine. For those of you annoyed by Raab's anti-King James Twitter rantings last year, you'll be happy to know his new book is...
![Oh No, Matt Leinart Is Back [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4rompziq9mjpg.jpg)
Oh No, Matt Leinart Is Back [UPDATE]
Hey, remember that thing I wrote on Friday about the Texans storming their way to top seed in the AFC? And remember that game they won 37-9 on Sunday?...

Don Johnson, The Champagne King And The Beast Of Blackjack, Has Once Again Punished An Atlantic City Casino
After a few months of suspiciously restrained behavior, blackjack savant Don Johnson has returned. He was spotted in October in Atlantic City stuffing fistfuls of casino chips into his gullet. Just grinding them up between his world-class molars. No, I made that up. He was actually cashing in fistfu...

Rex Ryan To Fan Who Suggested Belichick Was Better: "Shut The Fuck Up"
You can hear it at about the 15-second mark....

Bill Belichick On Last Night's Win Over Jets: "37 Points On The Best Defense In The League, Suck My Dick”
Per the suddenly demure New York Post:...

Your Sunday Night Football Open Thread
After an exciting day lets all wind down and not have a heart attack watching the Jets play the Patriots. Your thoughts, as always, down below....

Give A Hoot, Don't Pollute Your Insides With A Rat
"A white owl was seen chowing down on an unfortunate rodent right on the edge of the crossbar in the Metropolitan Stadium." The meal took place at halftime of an eventual tie between Colombia and Venezuela in a South American World Cup qualifier. Oh, and there's video, too. ...

Bam! Pig Humping A Cow!
I have no idea if this will actually work, but if it does make babies, I want to eat them....

Manny Pacquiao Sings An Awkward, Tender "Sometimes When We Touch" Duet Live On Canadian Television
Manny Pacquiao was on TSN's Off The Record this afternoon, and was surprised mid-interview with the sound of Dan Hill's voice—the same Dan Hill who wrote "Sometimes When We Touch," which is a Pacquiao standard by now. Naturally, the two men sang a duet to close the interview....

ESPN Sort Of Comments, Then Refuses To Comment On Matt Millen's Status At The Second Mile
Earlier today, we reached out to ESPN for clarification on analyst Matt Millen's role at The Second Mile. The charity's website listed Millen as a member of the The Second Mile's honorary board, a nominal role absent of responsibility. The 2009 and 2010 tax returns for the charity, however, had Mill...

Dear Lord! The Texans Are Gonna Be The AFC's Top Seed In The Playoffs
Man, football is weird, huh? If the season ended today, the Houston Texans and Cincinnati Bengals would be the two top seeds in the AFC playoffs, and that's peculiar. Neither of those teams made the playoffs last year, if you'll recall, and neither one has won a playoff game in a long time. (Houston...

A Big Arena's Small Memorial For Joe Frazier
Hickey attended Joe Frazier's memorial: "What they, and hundreds of others who attended the first of three local memorial services for the former heavyweight champion of the world, would see inside was a simple display. No frills. Just like the man who'd requested a closed-casket viewing led his lif...

Tax Returns For Jerry Sandusky's Second Mile Charity, 1998-2010
Here are tax returns for The Second Mile, the charity for at-risk children founded by accused child rapist Jerry Sandusky. We flagged a couple of items for you earlier today. The full returns are below. If you see anything of note, drop us a line at [email protected]....

Never Let Your Hookup Overhear Her Mom Having Sex
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Second Mile's Tax Records: ESPN's Weepy Matt Millen Was Listed In 2009, 2010 As A Director At Sandusky's Charity
We told you earlier about accused child rapist Jerry Sandusky's consulting pay from The Second Mile. But there are other revealing tidbits to be gleaned from the charity's tax records, such as who sits on its board. Consider Matt Millen, the ESPN analyst and former Nittany Lion who choked up on ai...

Preeminent Knuckleballers Hang Out Together In Their Spare Time
Unlikely Mets ace R.A. Dickey tweeted last night about an event that we've imagined so often in our dreams. Great knuckleballers are friends in real life!...