x Page 835 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Phony Penn State Baseball Star And Potential Trustee Made An Absurd Campaign Video
There he is: Anthony Lubrano. So majestic, so clean-shaven. So statuesque, presiding over the sports complex that bears his name. I pause here to remind you—because Mr. Lubrano is under no obligation to do so himself—that the field bears his name because he paid for it and that he was on the equiv...
Alex Ovechkin Picked Norfolk State (And So Did A Hairless Cat)
Everyone needs to take back all the mean things they said about Alex Ovechkin's third-grade napkin scrawl of a bracket. He nailed the Norfolk State over Mizzou upset, and appears to have them advancing to the Elite Eight....
Here's Video Of Police Arresting A Family That Chanted Prayers And Danced Naked Around A High School Parking Lot
The video above shows the scene earlier this afternoon outside Upper Darby High School in suburban Philly. The footage was sent to us by a reader, and it looks and sounds like it was filmed by a student inside a classroom at the school. As the scene unfolds, the students watching from inside the s...
Cockblocked On St. Patrick's Day!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Snowmobiling Across A Body Of Water Looks Just As Thrilling As It Seems Like It Would Be
It's called snowmobile skipping, and apparently it's a thing. The idea is to develop enough speed to hydroplane across the water's surface. The person armed with a camera while doing it here, on Stoney Lake in Ontario, Canada, succeeds brilliantly. That said, YouTube's got plenty of other videos th...
Sex Offenders And NHL Success: An Astonishingly Accurate New Metric
I'm not big on advanced stats in hockey. It's not because I don't think they're valuable, but because it's tough to translate the concepts to what I'm seeing on the ice. It's my own ignorance, yes, but for a new generation of hockey metrics to take hold, they'll have to be more relatable to the aver...
Omaha Fifth-Grader Sent To Principal's Office For Running NCAA Pool
Someday a real rain will come and wash all this scum off the streets. Until then, young men like Max Kohll only have to go to the principal's office after they engage in unspeakable crimes....
Coach K Is A Dick
Excerpted from Duke Sucks, Reed Tucker and Andy Bagwell's thorough charge-by-charge frisking of the worst college basketball program known to man, which is out now....
This Is What It Looks Like When A Baseball Team Takes Cover During A Gunfight
A running battle between state police and a group of gunmen broke out outside a Mexican League game in the northern city of Saltillo, interrupting a game between the Saraperos and a local youth team. Fans and players ducked for cover, but there were no injuries reported inside the stadium. Police ki...
The IRQ Car Decal: Noble Or Horrible?
I hate Euro Decals. HATE THEM. They are the fucking scourge of the highways: one goddamn SUV after another with some precious OBX circle sticker planted somewhere above the trunk handle. People like slapping Euro decals on their car because they like letting you know where they spend their leisure t...
If You Like Supporting Jewish Charities, And You Want To Have Steak With Mo Vaughn, Boy, Do We Have The Auction Item For You
Now, I have no idea what the Russian American Jewish Experience is—and, consider, I'm vaguely descended from Russian Jews—but I do know they have one of the most exquisite experiences ever up for auction right now....
Bronze Medal Ping Pong GOD Bravely Resigns From Goldman Sachs
By now, you may have already heard of Greg Smith, an executive director at Goldman Sachs who resigned his post today, and did so the way all filthy rich people do: via New York Times op-ed. And the greatest thing about Smith's editorial is that he manages to tuck his entire resume into the column:...
Of Course Someone Captured Footage Of This Street-Fighting Lesbian Couple
Per YouTuber kingnothing3rd, "My GF and I met this lesbian couple at the club and we were going to go to the next one with them."...
Today In An Angry White Guy Totally Tried To Crash A Bus When It Missed His Stop News
"According to deputies Robert Galantine, 49, grabbed the steering wheel twice while the bus was moving in an apparent attempt to get the driver to exit the freeway. Galantine reportedly believed the driver was supposed to exit and demanded he get off the freeway, Chacon told the OC Register. During...
Dwight Howard To Be Named Owner, President, CEO, Star Player Of The Orlando Howards
The Magic's strategy for keeping Dwight Howard is to try and land a star player before the trade deadline, in the hopes that Happy Dwight would want to stay in Orlando. It's risky, but it's probably their best and only hope. So that's fine....
Onscreen Typos Don't Get Much More Unfortunate Than This
It's bad enough 10 seed Iowa State gets to play at home, but Iowa City market station KCRG-Cedar Rapids just had to play the stereotype card, didn't they? (Not to mention Green Bay dropped the UW part of their name some time ago.) We can only imagine what they called the Hawkeyes' first round oppon...
Mitt Romney Explains Super Bowl 46 In The Stiffest Way Imaginable
Mitt appeared on our friend Paul Finebaum's show today and talked football like an average American! To wit: "This last Super Bowl was a hard one to take. A catch in the final moments, which was a spectacular catch, dashed our hopes once again." See, definitely not a robot! [NYT]...
Tooth Fairy Inflation Will Leave You Dead And Broke
My kid lost her first tooth a while back. The tooth was a stubborn little bastard, sitting there wiggling for weeks before finally breaking away from her gums and dangling there by a small thread of connective tissue. My kid refused to give the tooth one final yank to get it out, which drove me nuts...
UCLA Basketball Players Fought Each Other Long Before Ben Howland
The year was 1945, and John Wooden was still in the Navy. It would be three more years before he took over in Westwood, but the UCLA Bruins under coach Wilbur Johns were already using revolutionary training methods....