x Page 856 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

IBF Orders Immediate Rematch Of Fight That Featured 12 Rounds Of Brutal Nut-Punching (Video)
Anyone in search of evidence that boxing is crooked need look no further than the above video. It's from the rather disturbing title fight last weekend between Abner Mares and Joseph Agbeko. Mares won a majority decision to take the bantamweight belt. He also won the championship for punching anot...

This Guy May Be The Biggest High School Football Fan In The History Of The Game
This is divalover159's "shout out to the knox city greyhounds." And "this is the team of the Knox city greyhounds." They're a high-school football team from Texas. They play a scrimmage tomorrow night. Good luck, divalover159. Your time is now. Your time is here....

Ukulele Boob Girl Will Do Anything You Ask If You Vote For Her Again
Remember Sarah H., the lovely damsel who desperately pleaded for your votes in some sort of freakish marketing contest by playing a ukulele nestled under her breasts? Well, she's emailing again, claiming that the freakish marketing people somehow turned her 1,500-vote advantage into a 12-vote defic...

Knock Out Chris Rix, Win Five Grand: Here's Your Price List For The Miami Hurricanes' Alleged Football Bounties
In Charles Robinson's Miami shitstorm investigation, Hurricanes booster Nevin Shapiro claims that he issued bounties for in-game achievements and targets. We've compiled them for your convenience. Here are the players who supposedly collected:...

Robbie Keane Will Play For LA Galaxy, Import Sensational New WAG To American Soccer
Ireland, it is said, is a nation of begrudgers. 'Tis indeed. The only thing more brooding and begrudging than an Irishman is an Irishman crossed with a Russian Jew. And the current cause for begrudgery in Ireland is Robbie Keane....

Last Night Some Florida Lady Tried To Beat Up Her Girlfriend With A Strap-On
Young love is never as pretty as they make it look on television, in your 90210 or Friday Night Lights. Instead of runny mascara, the young ladies of Bradenton, Florida have given us strap-on violence....

Watch The Red Sox Turn A 5-4-3 Triple Play Tonight
Hooray. Because the Red Sox really needed this to reverse the fortunes of their horrible season....

Video: A Clown's-Eye View Of This Weekend's Gathering Of The Juggalos (NSFW)
Animal New York's Bucky Turco joined me at the 12th annual Gathering this past weekend. He fearlessly tracked down the most wretched photographs and videos to be found at the campground. Here's a brief sampling. Do not watch this at work....

The Hidden Message Of This Girl In A Royals Visor Giving A Ball To Some Kid In A Jeter Shirtsey
Here's how MLB captioned the above video, which appears heartwarming and nurturing and fuzzy and cherubic: "Young Royals fan in pigtails gives foul ball to young Yankees fan not in pigtails."...

From Deadspin Writer To Undercover Juggalette: A Video Transformation
So I went to the 12th annual Gathering of The Juggalos this weekend. I was dressed like this. You can read all about the titties and the drugs in a few hours. [UPDATE: Read all about the titties and the drugs.]...

Could You Beat Kobe In Beer Pong?
I was about to go to bed the other night when my wife let me know that, earlier in the day, she had found an enormous spider right under my pillow....

Chelsea Embraces The Prawn Sandwich Brigade
This isn't just an advertisement for the most succulent amuse-bouche you've ever seen. It's also Chelsea being more self-aware than we though possible....

Football Back! Rex Ryan Smash!
Jesus, Rex, It's the first preseason game. Greg McElroy was in at quarterback....

Your Preseason Monday Night Football Open Thread: Jets-Texans
It's the first Monday Nighter of the nascent NFL season. Oh, right: It doesn't count. But so what? It's football. If you're watching, consider this your invitation to chat about it in the comments....

Don't Worry, Carlos Zambrano: Ozzie Guillen And White Sammy Sosa Have Your Back
CSN Chicago reports that Zambrano—whom the Cubs suspended for 30 days, due to a big ol' meltdown—received text messages of support from Guillen and Sosa....

"Bunny-Fucking," "Cockbrisket," And Serial Commas: A Copy Editor's Guide To Nicholson Baker's Filthy New Book
Below is the copy editor's style sheet for Nicholson Baker's House of Holes, which The New York Times has called both a "porny Alice in Wonderland" and a "hideously glorious filthfest" (Sam Lipsyte said the latter; Sam Lipsyte would know) and which accomplishes what all great modern literature aspir...

Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog? Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog.
Michele Bachmann won the Ames, Iowa straw poll yesterday, which, according to Nate Silver, means she's the favorite to win the Iowa caucuses next year. And, if you follow this syllogism to its logical extreme, she's gonna win the Republican nomination and then the presidency. Or something....

Our Five Favorite Funny Athlete Movie/TV Appearances
Plenty of athletes are funny. But these are our top 5 performances by athletes being funny on purpose in a movie or tv show....

Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Matt Goldich
Who? Matt is from Philadelphia, though he started performing in New York while he was a writer on Stump The Schwab. He went on to write for The Late Show with David Letterman. Matt's style is subtle and hyperarticualte. Watch the first joke on his clip because it is one of my favorite jokes by a c...

Care To Guess Who "The Super Hot, Super Gay, Super Conservative Christian NFL Player In Need Of A Beard" Is?
This exchange between someone in Massachusetts and someone in Illinois was brought to you by "Texts From Last Night." To each their own. (H/T several tipsters)...