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What Is That Weird Feeling You Have About The Paterno Family Statement On The Sandusky Verdict?
Oh, that's right, it's that it is warmed-over, stinking bullshit. Here it is, in full, in case you missed it, released seemingly minutes after the verdict was announced....
![The Titanic Of Failed Hookup Stories [Very NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17qlcwcwdbh0sjpg.jpg)
The Titanic Of Failed Hookup Stories [Very NSFW]
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
David Ortiz: Boston Is "Becoming The Shithole It Used To Be"
On Sunday, Buster Olney called the Red Sox clubhouse "toxic." Just dropped it in a notes column like it was no big thing. He followed up the next day with a little more detail:...
The Time An Old Canadian Wrestler Threw LeRoy Neiman To The Ground
The great LeRoy Neiman died yesterday. His paintings were ballsy and so was he....
Know Your RedTube, And Other Advice: The Dadspin Guide To Internet Parenting
I have three children, the oldest of whom is web literate. She can work a mouse. She can open Chrome. She can type. And she can Google shit, which is terrifying because you never know when Google Image Search will decide to hand you an image of a big hairy penis, even if you're using the default MOD...
Plaxico Burress Wants To Play For The Panthers. The Panthers Do Not Want Plaxico Burress To Play For The Panthers.
Who wants a possibly washed-up wide receiver on the wrong side of 35 and still carrying plenty of baggage? Burress didn't actually have a bad season with the Jets, his first post-prison. It was just underwhelming, with major drops in catches, yards and scores—and football players are not one of thos...
Won't Somebody Remind A.J. Pierzynski There Are Only Two Outs?
Top of the eighth, none on, one out, and Matt Thornton catches David DeJesus looking for strike three. The White Sox are well on their way to avoiding a sweep. OK. Looks like Starlin Castro is up next, and—hang on. A.J.? Yo, A.J.? What the—where's he going? Hey! Wait. Did everyone forget? Don't they...
The Texas Rangers Are Packing Some Serious Firepower
While in San Diego to take on the Padres, several members of the Texas Rangers stopped by a Navy Seals training facility today to tour the grounds, meet some military personnel, and get their hands on all sorts of battlefield-worthy assault rifles, with a handgun and mortar launcher thrown in for go...
A Family Brawls At A Kindergarten Graduation; We Have An Eyewitness Report
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Fight at Kindergarten Graduation School of Mayhem A must see!!!!" Tonight's commentator: Rob "Cookie the Cameraman" Ziegler from Tilley Street Chronicles....
Rangers Announcer Dave Barnett To Undergo Evaluation, Will Miss Next Two Broadcasts
Texas Rangers broadcaster Dave Barnett will miss the next two games, choosing to undergo evaluation after suffering a migraine that led to a bizarre sequence during last night's game in San Diego....
What Women's Sport Has Inspired The Most Self-Gratification?
I was hanging with my kid the other day and she sprung this on me:...
Pixar Isn't Even Trying. <em>Brave</em>, Reviewed.
1. The brand Pixar has become so powerful and so reliable in the last decade that we forget that's all it is: A brand. We assume every new Pixar film will be well thought out and impeccably constructed, like the Pixar crew is one hivemind that taps into the American subconscious and springs a nevere...
Rangers Announcer Dave Barnett Starts Speaking Nonsense During Broadcast, Claims Go-Ahead Run Is At "Fifth" Base [UPDATE]
The bottom of the eighth inning of last night's Rangers-Padres game from San Diego turned weird during tonight's broadcast on Fox Sports Southwest as longtime broadcaster Dave Barnett appeared to completely lose his mind, claiming a runner was at "fifth" base and then trailing off into a story ab...
Captain Mike Dixon: Women Arrested For Allegedly "Exposing Their Sexual Organs" On Golf Course
We are equal opportunity mockers here at Deadspin, so it is only fair that when we make fun of dudes whipping out their penises on a golf course, we do the same for women and their sexual organs. This time, however, it only took a phone call, not a shameful letter to expose the offenders....
Is This Bobby Valentine Grunting Like A Weirdo While Another Man Raps?
The upload information seems to claim this is Bobby Valentine walking the streets, grunting like a lunatic. Information on reddit claims this is Bobby Valentine on the streets of Chicago. Obviously, Bobby Valentine is currently in Chicago to play the Cubs, but that's hardly a smoking gun....
Mark Grace, Daisy Dukes, The Meat Sweats And A Middle Finger: Just Another Day At The Ballpark
So, as many of us now know, the Texas Rangers have some absurd hot dog that costs close to $30. It's a testament to the American spirit and Texas in particular. The bigger the better. It's also perfect "human interest" fodder for visiting team crews to discuss when they roll in to town....
"I Will Give You 5 Blowjobs If You Take Me To See <em>Brokeback Mountain</em>," She Said
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
No, I Will Not Fix The Overflowing Toilet Today: The Dadspin Father's Day Manifesto
Father's Day is a con. Every year, I expect to have a Father Day's filled with unlimited blackjack and gunfire-scented cologne, and every year it ends up being like every other goddamn NFL-free Sunday in existence. Father's Day is supposed to be MY day, but most of the time my family abandons any pr...
Judge Denies House Arrest For Floyd Mayweather, Who Says Jail Is Ruining His Body And Career
A Nevada judge ruled late today that Inmate #01363917, better known as boxer Floyd Mayweather, would not be granted his request for house arrest and must serve out the remainder of his sentence, which is scheduled to end on August 3. The Las Vegas Review-Journal has all the details from today's deci...
What Is The Worst Boxing Decision Of All Time?
After the Pacquiao-Bradley debacle on Saturday night, in which the stats said Pac-Man landed 94 more blows than Bradley did, Josh Levin endeavored to find the worst statistical decision in the Compubox era. The numbers in Roy Jones, Jr.'s screwjob in Seoul don't even compare to Dorsey-Paez I in Fe...