x Page 875 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Can You Jack It In All 50 States? TAKE THE FUNBAG CHALLENGE!
I broke a mirror yesterday. But it wasn't my fault, because the mirror was inside a frame and my wife neglected to tell me that she detached the mirror from the frame. So I picked up the mirror by the frame and it knocked the thing over and it shattered. I argue that whoever is in charge of handing ...
Happy Belated Birthday Vin Scully, Here's A Great Moment In Live-TV Parachuting History
During that famous Game 6 of the '86 World Series, a Mets fan parachuted onto the field with a "Go Mets" sign and a whole lotta balls. That Vin Scully—who celebrated his 83rd birthday yesterday—made a perfect call is gravy....
Your Barcelona-Real Madrid Scoring Bonanza Goal Roundup
The Clasico match between Barcelona and Real Madrid was absurdly lopsided. Barca netted five goals in an utter domination of Cristiano and the rest of Jose Mourinho's crew. Enjoy our compilation of the bloodletting....
At Long Last, My Reunion With Red Meat
For 14 years, I ate only poultry and fish. Last year, I started eating beef and pork again. So what's it like to return to red meat after all this time? LIKE FUCKING HEAVEN....
Rejoice! Alcoholic Whipped Cream Is Here To Replace Four Loko
Four Loko will be gone from our (American) store shelves by Dec. 13. If you aren't going to make your own, and you insist on consuming grain alcohol in a gimmicky fashion, there is another option: hooch-heavy whipped cream....
The Hater’s Guide To Taylor Swift
Apropos of nothing, can I unsubscribe to Taylor Swift? Is that possible? I'd really like it to be possible....
Weekend Winner: The Big East, College Sports' Honest Harlot
TCU, a school approximately 400 miles west of the Mississippi, will soon play sports in a conference called the Big East, FanHouse informs. You have to admire the Big East. It never fails to be the hardest-working lapdancer in the room....
Before The Storm, After The Sunshine Band: The Prelude To Disco Demolition Night
Our attention was brought to this collection of 35 rare photos taken prior to a Tigers/White Sox game on July 12, 1979. Not hours later, Comiskey Park would play host to the figurative end of the 70s, and the closest thing to a riot at an American sporting event since....
Saddest News Ever: Leslie Nielsen Passes Away
Yes, the deadpan-est of deadpan comedic actors is now dead. DUAN! varmints, please give him a fond farewell in the comments section by reciting your favorite Drebin/Dr. Alan Rumack lines.That would be me...I've been swimming in raw sewage. [Hollywood Reporter]...
Here's Video Of A Texan Fighting A Titan
Texans wide receiver Andre Johnson and Titans cornerback Cortland Finnegan mixed it up today. Both got tossed out. Look....
Boxer Shot And Stabbed By Husband So Burglar Sees Perfect Chance To Strike
On Tuesday, boxer Christy Martin was shot and stabbed, allegedly by her husband. She's still in the hospital. Her husband's still on the lam. So, some classy folk(s) decided the time was right to break in. [Orlando Sentinel]...
Felix Pie Throws Major League Tantrum In Winter League Ball
The one-time super prospect is working on his skills in the Dominican. The Orioles are thrilled with his shitfit development. [Bob's Blitz]...
"Watching My Shirtless, Bloody Friend Hug His Grandma At 9 A.M. Was Pretty Awesome"
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
*WINNER*: "Then I Get The More Awesome Idea Of Giving Him A Blow Job In His Girlfriend's Bathroom."
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
"Brawl For It All 2008"
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings...
My Asian Roommate Stole My Handjob!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
All Of Our Fantasy Football Teams Are Related To Us Banging In The Dining Room
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
Poor Amanda Shit Her Pants While Passed Out In the Backseat
For many of you, the day after Thanksgiving requires you to put on your best Gap sport coat, head out to the local beef-and-beer drink your way through a high school reunion. Sometimes, the outcomes are disastrous. Heed these warnings....
What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...
Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....