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A Thrashers Fan Surrounded By Winnipeg Jets Fans At The Draft Tries To Mask His Pain With Smiles, Beers
Your morning roundup for June 25, the day Wade Boggs introduces you to Deputy Stanley, a dimwitted yokel who does battle with Swamp Shark....

Cockblocked By Shrooms!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Prodigies
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week's theme, in honor of Rory McIlroy and Kyrie Irving, is sports prodigies. A note to those two: enjoy this moment. If these stories are any indication, there's a slight chance it won't last....

Kissing Riot Couple's Zapruder Film Proves Their Blissful Moment Was Not Staged
Of course you remember the golden Vancouver riot couple, forever commemorated in this photo, their newfound love a port in a storm of tear gas and riot shields. Well, some folks wrote that the photo might have been staged—it seemed too perfect, too cinematic. We understood. Oh, this postmodern wor...

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Ruin NHL Awards With Confident, Butchered Pronunciation
Real Housewives Camille Grammer—Kelsey's ex—and Adrienne Maloof—sister of those bankrupt rich man-children who allegedly own the Sacramento Kings—presented the Lady Byng Trophy to Tampa Bay Lightning right wing Martin St. Louis at Wednesday's NHL Awards show. St. Louis is a six-time All-Star, he w...

"Goddamn It, I'm Rich," Backup Sixers Guard Lou Williams Tells Us In New Rap Video
Some of the players drafted tonight will become stars, despite our dire predictions, some will be busts, and others will forever be NBA rotation guys, the Lou Williamses of the world, who, try as they might, just aren't quite as good as Jrue Holiday....

This Has To Be Among The Funniest Things That Could Happen After Two Motorcycle Racers Crash
During a round of the Promosport Championship at Circuit de Nevers Magny-Cours in France, two riders crashed. Then, their rides decided to start mating. All that's missing is this....

Your Gold Cup Semifinals Open Thread
It's Miércoles Gigante for los aficionados al fútbol in Houston tonight. First up, at 7 p.m., are the Americans who will try to avenge their June 11 upset loss to Panama. (They will.) Then, around 10 p.m., Mexico and Honduras will do battle for the right to advance to Saturday's Gold Cup finals ma...

Red Sox Fan Catches Foul Ball With $7 Light Beer, Still Finishes Beer
If you paid that much for a Bud Light, you'd drink it, too....

Litigious, Displaced, Already Reiumbursed Super Bowl Fans Are Asking For Even More Money
Hey, remember those cranky folks who couldn't get their Super Bowl seats? Remember how they're suing, and how $5 million wouldn't be enough in remuneration?...

How Young Alex Ovechkin Ended The Cold War
Oh man. Do yourself a favor and look at every single photo on the NHL Players As Kids Tumblr, which we were criminally unaware of until it blew up on the internet today. There's this. And this. And fatty. And Biz Nasty. This will make your head asplode. This will make Maple Leafs fans' heads asplode...

Miss USA Candidates Attempt To Answer A Question About Evolution, Fail At It
I'll warn you that this video, compiled and edited by the Miami New Times, is uniquely horrific. In it, Miss USA Pageant 2011 contestants attempt to answer — or simply to formulate words in a coherent sentence about the idea proposed — whether or not evolution should be taught in schools. The New ...

Chicken-Hatted Lady Confounds Orsillo And Rem Dawg
In the middle of a ten-run inning, Red Sox broadcasters Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy got distracted by a fan wearing a chicken hat, and completely lost the plot....

136 Bud Lights For Only $680! An Unscientific Analysis Of The Boston Bruins' Epic Bar Tab From Foxwoods
The photo of this receipt is hazy (full version here), and that's how it should be. Mere hours after riding through the streets of Boston in Duck Boats, the Bruins took the Stanley Cup to the MGM Grand at Foxwoods and set to drinking. First came the bottle of Bacardi and 18 sugar free Red Bulls. "Su...

Science! Shows That Red Sox Fans Are The Most Obsessed
According to metrics like attendance, revenue and money spent, Boston fans take the title as the most devoted in baseball. Maybe that's true, but Shaughnessy needs to be pelted with feces anyway. [Bundle]...

These Two Guys Would've Gotten Away With Busting Into Coors Field If It Wasn't For A Pesky Security Guard
Your morning roundup for June 19, the day some sexy finally came out of the Vancouver riots (it starts at 0:45 of this video), and the day we all wish a Happy Father's Day to the appropriate person in our lives....

RIP Clarence Clemons
"Clarence Clemons, the saxophonist in Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, whose jovial onstage manner, soul-rooted style and brotherly relationship with Mr. Springsteen made him one of rock's most beloved sidemen, died Saturday at a hospital in Palm Beach, Fla. He was 69." [New York Times]...

Watch The Marlins Catcher Successfully Throw The Ball At Shane Victorino's Head
Your morning roundup for June 18, the day "propaganda vans touted the importance of stability" in the Jeans Capital of China. (Video H/T, Jimmy Greek)...

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Is So Scared Of Manny Pacquiao That He Won't Even Fight Him In Court
Floyd Mayweather Jr. may be the best defensive boxer since Pernell Whitaker, but he has a shit-eating grin, a toy punch, and, at least when it comes to Manny Pacquiao, a yellow streak the width of Route 15. Mayweather has been ducking Pacquiao for years, claiming all the while that the Filipino was ...

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Wimbledon
A quick primer on SportsFeat: Every day, we post great sports writing from across the web, both new stuff and classics. A companion to Longform.org, the site is designed to be used with services like Instapaper and Read It Later, so you can read the stories later on your phone, iPad or Kindle. You c...