x Page 885 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The New England Patriots Are Not Out For Revenge
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....
Parents: Don't Put Any Goddamn Candy In The Goodie Bag
I go to a lot of children's birthday parties. These parties are virtually identical. You go to a gym, you take off your kid's shoes, you hand your kid over to the 19-year-old girl making $6 an hour and wearing a bright red or blue shirt with the name of the gym on it (PLAY ZONE! GYMTASTIC! BALLS AND...
Madonna's Halftime Act Will Reportedly Be "Bringing Gay To The Super Bowl"
At least that's what the New York Daily News' gossip moles overheard one of her dancers say at a party the other night. But before James Dobson can shift uncomfortably in his chair to craft a press release, somebody really ought to tell him Madonna's 20 years behind the times....
Oregon High School Basketball Player Is Really, Really Excited About The League Game He Just Won
The Springfield (Ore.) Times is where you should go for this news:...
The State Of The Union Is Punchy In Front Yards, Trailer Parks And Beyond (NSFW)
Per YouTube uploader kustomcougar, "Cocky neighbor gets his big mouth shut after constant harassment. Then he throws a rock at my brothers truck."...
How To Lose Weight Without Wanting To Kill Yourself
I was at the gym this morning and some old British dude started talking to me in the locker room, which is a huge breach of gym locker room protocol and totally freaked me out. Anyway, he's like, "You should watch your feet." And I looked down at my bare feet on the tile floor, and he was like, "Thi...
"His Schlong" Was An Actual Answer On Tonight's <em>Family Feud</em>
If it's Monday, it means a sex reference on a game show. After last week's Donkey Punch incident on Jeopardy!, we present to you an answer nobody guessed to the Family Feud question (okay, the clues on that show are actually imperatives) "Name something an airline pilot might be holding on a long...
Terry Bradshaw: (Old) Ladies' Man
That's Terry Bradshaw being accosted by Ann Mara, widow to the late Giants owner Wellington, after New York's NFC Championship victory. It's believed to be the first time ever captured on video that Bradshaw actually tries to shy away from a woman. [Fox]...
Chuck Giampa Takes You Inside The Spacious Mind Of A Judge
This is from Friday night but that does not make it any less awkward or cringe-inducing. Chuck Giampa, along with his 132-world-championship-matches-officiated mind, made his Showtime boxing debut. It...did not go well....
Catching Up With Chris Brown, The Texans Super Bowl Champions Tattoo Guy
Remember Chris Brown? Sure you do. He's the supremely confident Texans fan who decided to get an irreversible reminder of a jarring lapse in judgment. As we settle in for the second half of the AFC Championship game, we turn to the Houston Press and are reminded just how jarring a lapse it was....
<em>Corky Romano</em> And The Other Things Your Fox Affiliate Is Showing Instead Of Soccer
Fox is understandably proud of their experiment this morning to show English Premier League soccer live on U.S. broadcast TV for the first time. Yet it seems Fox affiliates aren't so excited, as 23 of Fox's 185 stations decided to air something else. Here's the list of cities where you can't see Ar...
Joe Paterno Dies; Paterno Family Releases Statement
The Associated Press is reporting that Joe Paterno has in fact died, according to a statement released by his family this morning. The full text, as provided by the AP, is provided below. ...
"Ice The Motherfucker," The Guy From <em>Good Times</em> Screamed At Muhammad Ali: A Weird Life, In 4 Boxing Matches
Earlier this week, an e-mail from John Kaye showed up in my inbox. I didn't know Kaye but soon learned that he'd written the 1980 film Where the Buffalo Roam, the ancestor to the Hunter S. Thompson movies of recent years. Kaye had just published a lengthy piece in the Los Angeles Review of Books ent...
Cockblocked By Gum!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Yu Screwed Prince Fielder (Sort Of)
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!!...
Oh Yu: A Collection Of Awful Yu Darvish Headline Puns
Japanese pitcher Yu Darvish officially signed to a six-year, $60 million deal with the Texas Rangers on Wednesday. Darvish, perhaps the most highly-touted player to ever come out of Japan, will be counted on to help shore up the Rangers' pitching staff following the loss of their former No. 1 starte...
20,000 Screaming Children Watch A Soccer Match
The last time AZ Alkmaar came to town, an Ajax fan attacked their keeper. AZ was pulled off the field, and the Dutch FA later declared the game a wash. Today was the replay, but due to the Netherlands' — and specifically's Ajax's — problems with ultras, the match was supposed to be played in an empt...
Mike Tyson First Met Muhammad Ali In Juvie
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tyson won't forget that first encounter....
9 Things I Learned In The Parent Encouragement Program, AKA Shitty Parents Anonymous
The Parent Encouragement Program is a series of classes and workshops that are available to parents living in the D.C. area. The introductory class is free, and so I went a couple of weeks ago, because it didn't cost anything and because I need all the help I can get. The title of the workshop was "...