x Page 889 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jay Cutler, Chicago's O-Line Have Trust Issues
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Everybody Needs To Stop Talking About The Cubs' Future For A Few Months
After Lou Piniella announced he was retiring after last Sunday's game—fittingly, it was a blowout—the Chicago and national media started yammering on about who would replace him, and What It All Means For The Cubs. Please make it stop....

John McEnroe Thinks Tennis Is Too Hard For Ladies
"I think that it's asking too much of the women. They shouldn't be playing as many events as the men...You shouldn't push them to play more than they're capable of." Also, mouthy broads talking about shopping, etc. [NYDN]...

New Yorkers React To Some Pervert Videotaping A Ballerina's Ass, Calling Everyone "Goober"
Click to view Times Square sucks, but every once in a while something special happens. Like when an impromptu photo shoot of a ballerina who is not dressed like a ballerina crosses paths with a guy who videotapes women's butts. [Carlos Miller, via Skeets]...

GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Hooker Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

I've Never Seen Four Effeminate Filipinos So Excited
You think you were thrilled by Miss Philippines making it to the top 15 of the Miss Universe Pageant? Try these four. Sorry ladies, I know you like a guy not afraid to show his emotions, but I don't think they're interested....

Airbag Prank Nearly Launches Man Through Ceiling
Get a bunch of Russians together, ply them with alcohol, and it's only a matter of time before this happens. Interestingly, this is a perfect re-creation of the later years of the Soviet Space Program....

Join The Deadspin Facebook Page And Possibly Get Your Becky On
Hello again! I know I keep bugging you to join the Deadspin Facebook page, but, dammit, it's just so full of gorgeous ladies like Alexia Fortunato who are happy to engage in sexual acts with numerous readers she finds semi-attractive....

Read Bill O'Reilly Wax Uptight About '70s Porn Auteur Gerard Damiano
During the early days of disco, young scribe Bill O'Reilly scribed for the Boston Phoenix. His first article was a feature on the director of Deep Throat, giving new resonance to "Fuck it, we'll do it live." [Boston Phoenix]...

A Roundup Of Angry And Confused Emails Concerning That Bike Crash Video
Last week, I posted this video of a bike collision between an easily distracted helmet-cammed bicyclist and a jaywalking pedestrian. It proved to be fairly popular and elicited a strong reaction. Here are some emails I got....

How To Confront Your Old Man About His Ongoing Porn Habit
Before I get to your letters, some quick programming notes. First: I'm on vacation next week, as much as someone who does what I do can be considered "on vacation," so no funbags or hookup posts or posting at KSK or anything else like that. Drew needs time for whisky....

A Sex Addict Relapses: An Ex-Girlfriend, A Panty Flash, And Mark Cuban
Well, let's get it out the way — it didn't take me very long to relapse after leaving sex rehab....

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 2
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. This week: "shit" and "ass" end up deadlocked, while "nuts" drop left and right....

Socks With Sandals: Good Enough For The Ancient Romans
Two-thousand-year-old fossil sandals show evidence of fibers suggesting that the Romans wore their sandals over socks. If they find an ancient fanny pack, we're dismissing the entire empire's achievements. [The Sun]...

Plaxico Burress Is History's Greatest Monster Because He Stole A Punter's Number
It's standard operating procedure for newly acquired players to get their favored jersey number, but only after compensating the owner. It's been five years, and Burress still owes Jeff Feagles a new kitchen....

Skydiver Gets Stranded Atop Rangers Ballpark
The Army's Golden Knights parachute team were performing one of their patented pregame routines before last night's Rangers game. All but one of them made it to the field....

Hungover Owls? Hungover Owls.
Sports, schmorts. Gaze upon all that is wonderful, all that is right, all that is Hungover Owls. You can finally retire that Tumblr you never update because you're not doing better than Hungover Owls....

Miami University Cracking Down On Poopy, Pukey Sorority Parties
Miami University fraternities and sororities will be forced to hire security and designate "sober monitors" at Greek events this year. Why, oh, why would such drastic measures be needed you ask?...

MLB Confidential, Part 3: Texas Rangers
Our final document — at least for now — belongs to the Texas Rangers. Out of all the financial statements we've seen, it offers maybe the fullest picture of owning a team....
