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The Rangers Tossed Yu Darvish The Most Money, Dmitri Young Is Still Skinny, And More Hot Stove News
Your roundup of all the hottest hot-stove items of the day (and whatever shit Ken Rosenthal is throwing against the wall). This is ... HOT FUCKING STOVE!!...

Lawsuit Will Claim Monta Ellis Sent A "Pretty Disgusting" Cellphone Pic To Warriors Employee
Per the Contra Costa Times:...

Machines Don't Fall Down Dead: How Rock'em Sock'em Robots Came To Be
Before Mortal Kombat arrived to satisfy my prepubescent need for button mashing, there was Rock'em Sock'em Robots, the first game I ever played where the objective was decapitation. Here's how it worked: You controlled one of two punching plastic androids—the Red Rocker or the Blue Bomber—by pushing...

White People Should Never Do Hip-Hop Karaoke
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Email the Funbag here. Today, we're covering bargains, pooping in thongs, hip hop karaoke, and more....

Ron Rivera Says The Panthers' Trick Play Yesterday Was Inspired By The Movie <i>Little Giants</i>
Carolina head coach Ron Rivera told reporters this afternoon that the Panthers' trick play against Houston yesterday was inspired by "The Annexation of Puerto Rico," the Fumblerooski play used at the end of the 1994 classic film Little Giants. Here's the play in question, which in the movie is cal...

In Philly, It Was The Agony Of The Feet For The Jets And Rex Ryan
Your morning roundup for Dec. 19, the day we watched Kim Jong Il's monster movie. Photo via The 700 Level. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Here's The Brutal Back Injury That Led To Bears WR Johnny Knox Being Carted Off The Field
There's at least one gruesome injury a week in the NFL, but they're usually of the ankle, knee, or elbow variety. This one's a bit different, and really pretty horrible to watch. ...

New Mexico Bowl Open Thread
Temple vs. Wyoming! Maybe you're watching this? If so, feel free to use this space to chat about it....

Portland's Quipster Cop: Lightsaber Edition
We first met officer Pete Simpson a few weeks ago when he was cracking wise about Ndamukong Suh's driving style. Officer Simpson is back in the news following a (possibly mentally ill) prospective Jedi, elegantly—and not at all clumsily or randomly—got nuts in a Toys R Us with a lightsaber. After a...

The Vancouver Riot Couple Is Still In Love
Six months might not seem a lot of time before doing a "where are they now?" But considering he was an Australian stand-up comedian/bartender who seduced a naive Canadian girl with his exotic accent, it's surprising and heartwarming to hear that they're still together and living in Melbourne. [Puck ...

Lovesick College Kid Turns Down Historic Lay
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Seth Davis Was On HBO's <em>Real Sex</em> 15 Years Ago
Back in May, we got a tip from a reader named Alex who, bored one night, found himself watching a rerun of HBO's Real Sex with some friends. If you're unfamiliar, Real Sex is one of the many proto-reality TV artifacts from the 1990s in which people wearing flannel shirts talked openly about penise...

Former Security Director Sues NBA, Claims League Fired Him After Blowing The Whistle On Sexual Harassment
In June, NBA security official Warren Glover received a gold watch and a letter from David Stern celebrating his 10 years with the league. A month later, he was fired, the highest-level NBA employee to be let go during the lockout. Glover says it was retribution for speaking up against repeated inst...

Read Bill Simmons Before He Was The Sports Guy, From The <em>Boston Phoenix</em> Vault
The internet's not written in pencil, it's written in ink, or something. If you've spent your entire writing life online, it's likely that some Googlebot has crawled your pages, archiving every word you've ever written. But older writers who were young hacks shouldn't have to worry: their words were...

Prison Inmate Says Bernie Fine Sexually Abused Him 40 Years Ago, Pressured Him Into Oral Sex As Recently As This Year
A prison inmate has came forward as the fourth alleged victim of Bernie Fine, the former Syracuse basketball assistant who was fired amid sexual abuse charges on Nov. 27....

Finally, A Turkish Street Fight Set To An "Eye Of The Tiger" Score
The guy in the white turtleneck. Yeah, that one. He has some problems in this little Turkish traffic to-do, what with his inability to land a 1) punch or 2) acrobatic sidekick without getting dropped to the street. A soul-crushing defeat, to be sure. Took his time. Took his chances. Ended up laid ...

Bro Charged With DWI After Crashing Muscle Car Into "Booze It And Lose It" Police Command Center
"A Hickory (NC) man is facing multiple charges, including DWI, after slamming into a DWI mobile command center Sunday morning. Law enforcement officers were conducting a DWI checkpoint when a 1989 red Chevy Camaro rammed into the back of the 'Booze it and Lose it' mobile unit. People were inside th...

Xavier President Father Michael Graham Allegedly Threw Holy Water On Rowdy Fans As The Crosstown Brawl Raged
This is too weird to believe if we hadn't received multiple tips about it, and here's WLW 700 host Bill Cunningham on yesterday's program relating that he, too, had heard about Xavier president Fr. Michael Graham's bizarre behavior during the brawl that broke out in the Crosstown Shootout....

How To Get Robbed In D.C.: Amir Khan Vs. Lamont Peterson
WASHINGTON—A black guy in dark shades and a pimp-style chinchilla coat strode through the D.C. convention center, headed toward the entrance to the fight. Ten feet behind him, a white guy in a button-up shirt surreptitiously snapped photos of him on his cell phone. "Look, a real live pimp, at the fi...

The <em>Postmortal</em> Live Holiday Funbag
All right, we did this once before and it didn't end with Sarah Silverman crying, so let's close out the year with one more live funbag. I'll be here answering your questions from 1 till 4. You know where to send them. Put LIVE FUNBAG in the subject line. I'll get through as many as I can. And if yo...