x Page 916 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Watch The Citadel And Elon University Baseball Teams Pound Each Other Mercilessly
Last night, Dash clued you in to the epic brawl between The Citadel and Elon's baseball teams. Here's the video for all of you that were too lazy to click a link. Tuck in that shirt while you're at it....
Alvin Gentry Loses His Lunch (And Now No One Is Hungry)
What is going on with sports TV tonight? Someone must have spiked his porkchop....
The Strange Saga Of Denver's Freestyle-Skiing, Group-Sexing Alleged Pimp
Some athletes retire and open up a car wash or a money-management joint. Scottie Ewing, former BMX rider and professional freestyle skier, skipped the pretense altogether: He opened up a swingers club in Denver. And maybe moonlighted as a pimp....
Argentine National Team Given Go-Ahead To Hump Its Way To World Cup Glory
Argentina's World Cup doctor says the squad will be allowed to sleep with "regular partners...without champagne or other drinks" during the tournament since sex is "not a problem in itself." Given recent events, Maradona's response to this news will be exquisite. [iAfrica.com]...
Mushroom Tea Murder: Man Removes Friend's Still-Beating Heart
After taking psychedelic mushrooms, a California man gouged out his MMA training partner's heart, eyes and tongue, all while he was still alive. Witness testimonies detail the two men's increasing paranoia as it spiraled out of control....
This Is What Orson Welles Sounds Like When He's Drunk
Here's a delightful set of outtakes from a Welles commercial for Paul Masson wines. As the old adage says: If the check clears, Orson Welles'll shill for your crappy products, but don't expect him to be sober doing it. [Pursuitlist via NYMag]...
PR Guy Gets A Little Handsy With TV Reporter
Click to view All Dan Noyes wanted to do was interview a woman about a hospital gift fund. He was rudely intercepted by the hospital's very touchy-feely communications director. Unstoppable force, immovable object, etc. Video after the jump. [SFGate, video via Today's Big Thing]...
Taunting Tony Horton The Day After He Slit His Wrists: A Cleveland Fan Repents
The following is excerpted from Top of the Order: 25 Writers Pick Their Favorite Baseball Player of All Time, edited by Sean Manning and featuring essays by Matt Taibbi, Stefan Fatsis, and others. Here's Scott Raab, writing about former Indian Tony Horton....
Last Night's Winner: The Stupid Zone Defense
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Phoenix Suns' 2-3 zone, which has thus far discombobulated the Lakers and which is otherwise a regrettable development for hoopish fops like me....
Here's An Indonesian Toddler Who Smokes 40 Cigs Per Day
Exasperated mum says: "He's totally addicted. If he doesn't get cigarettes, he gets angry and screams and batters his head against the wall. He tells me he feels dizzy and sick." Do they have 3-1-1 in Musi Banyuasin? [TheSun]...
Erin Andrews Shows Off Her Dancing Wounds
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...
Aural Secs: David Ortiz's 30-Second Tater Trot Explained With Music
In honor of David Ortiz's Roger Bannister moment last night, an Aural Secs is in order. Unlike frequent Aural Secs subject Usain Bolt, Ortiz is quite slow, so we're going with the final chord in "A Day In The Life."...
Mexico Fans Win Important Football Fancy Dress Battle
During any football match, there are numerous battles going on. You've got the obvious one on the pitch, accompanied by hundreds of verbal ones in local pubs around the country, whilst in a wasteland somewhere geographically equidistant from the clubs......
Fat-Ass Baseball Players Get Their Roger Bannister Moment
Per Wezen-Ball's wonderful Tater Trot Tracker, David Ortiz rounded the bases after yesterday's solo shot in 30.59 seconds, a new record by nearly eight-tenths of a second. Yes, mankind has at last shattered the 30-second barrier. [Wezen-Ball]...
Nolan Ryan Buys Texas Rangers (Who Still Owe A-Rod Money, By The Way)
The Texas Rangers declared bankruptcy today, which was merely a procedural matter on the road to a $575 million sale to team president/good 'ol boy Nolan Ryan and his group of investors. First step? Pay off some really lousy contracts....
Intern Horrors: A Lengthy Stare-Down With Barry Bonds
Welcome to the inaugural edition of Intern Horrors, a weekly feature in which interns (and the people who hire them) get to complain. Today we have an MLB legend, a cooking accident, poop in a bank, and good old-fashioned menial labor....
Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever
"The Brevard County doctor who was arrested for groping a woman while dressed as Captain America with a burrito in his pants will not go to jail." [WFTV, via FilmDrunk]...
40-Year-Old Video Exonerates A-Rod In Dumb Mound-Crossing Controversy
This is a screengrab from the 1971 World Series. And will you look at that? A batter runs across the mound, and somehow the world doesn't launch into a spasm of cock-waggling outrage over a breach of baseball's supposedly inviolable unwritten rules....
Basebrawl Season Is In Full Swing
Thursday's Angels-White Sox game at U.S. Cellular Field featured two things you often see on the South Side these days: a White Sox loss, and a bunch of White Sox fans beating the shit out of each other. H/T BullFightsOnAcid...
Montauk Monster Has Hideous, Equally Baffling Canadian Cousin
A mysterious animal has washed up in a reservoir near the Kitchenuhmaykoosib Band reserve in northern Ontario, but no one can decide exactly what it is. Sound familiar?...