x Page 917 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Preseason Monday Night Football Open Thread: Jets-Texans
It's the first Monday Nighter of the nascent NFL season. Oh, right: It doesn't count. But so what? It's football. If you're watching, consider this your invitation to chat about it in the comments....
Don't Worry, Carlos Zambrano: Ozzie Guillen And White Sammy Sosa Have Your Back
CSN Chicago reports that Zambrano—whom the Cubs suspended for 30 days, due to a big ol' meltdown—received text messages of support from Guillen and Sosa....
"Bunny-Fucking," "Cockbrisket," And Serial Commas: A Copy Editor's Guide To Nicholson Baker's Filthy New Book
Below is the copy editor's style sheet for Nicholson Baker's House of Holes, which The New York Times has called both a "porny Alice in Wonderland" and a "hideously glorious filthfest" (Sam Lipsyte said the latter; Sam Lipsyte would know) and which accomplishes what all great modern literature aspir...
Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog? Future First Man Marcus Bachmann Eating A Corn Dog.
Michele Bachmann won the Ames, Iowa straw poll yesterday, which, according to Nate Silver, means she's the favorite to win the Iowa caucuses next year. And, if you follow this syllogism to its logical extreme, she's gonna win the Republican nomination and then the presidency. Or something....
Our Five Favorite Funny Athlete Movie/TV Appearances
Plenty of athletes are funny. But these are our top 5 performances by athletes being funny on purpose in a movie or tv show....
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Matt Goldich
Who? Matt is from Philadelphia, though he started performing in New York while he was a writer on Stump The Schwab. He went on to write for The Late Show with David Letterman. Matt's style is subtle and hyperarticualte. Watch the first joke on his clip because it is one of my favorite jokes by a c...
Care To Guess Who "The Super Hot, Super Gay, Super Conservative Christian NFL Player In Need Of A Beard" Is?
This exchange between someone in Massachusetts and someone in Illinois was brought to you by "Texts From Last Night." To each their own. (H/T several tipsters)...
Let's Watch Two Chimps Kissing And Biting One Another
This video was taken at the Maryland Zoo in Baltimore. Zoological voyeurism is the new black....
Here's A Video About Hunting Mork Encino With A Pellet Pistol
Spoiler Alert: Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino survives this segment about his whole "you can hunt me for $10K (or $12K if you want me naked)" schtick. How can I be sure? Because he sent a private Twitter message this week about his talks to appear on the George Lopez Tonight show in the days before th...
Plaxico Burress Talks About What Happens When You Shoot Yourself
Here's one choice selection from an HBO "Real Sports" segment on Jets WR Plaxico Burress, who shot himself with an unlicensed handgun in a Manhattan night club on Nov. 28, 2008:...
This Week In Unintentional-Dong Picture Submissions
Another week, another onslaught of people seeing phallus in unlikely places, capturing it on film and sending it in. Like that fountain that Luke S. saw in Siena, Italy, a few days back....
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Kyle Grooms
Who? Kyle Grooms is originally from New Jersey but started his stand-up career on South Florida's urban comedy scene. Style is quick and clever, punchlines come after the beat, a little like Dave Attell but structured around stories like Birbiglia....
Get To Know A Comic You Probably Don't Know: Wil Sylvince
Who? Haitian-American Wil Sylvince started doing comedy in New York City. He's a physical comic—meaning a lot of his jokes end in act outs and most of Wil's involve his family. His style is a mash-up of David Alan Grier and Ray Romano. I cannot do this guy justice with a description. Watch the cl...
Rex Ryan And Mike Francesa Finally Talk, Do Not Get In Fistfight
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the two loudest people in New York end their two-year-old feud....
Dead Comedian Of The Week: Andy Kaufman, The Unlikely Bombthrower
For Comedy Week, we're running a handful of tributes in the vein of our Dead Wrestler of the Week series. Here, from the best book ever written about stand-up comedy, Phil Berger's The Last Laugh, we look at the evolution of Andy Kaufman, meshuga provocateur....
Comedians: Cockblocked By Michael Vick!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Comedy Week curator Luke Cunningham got these four bonus stories from working comedians, so enjoy. Off we go....
The Hidden Message Of That Andover Rap Video
The Andover rap video that made the rounds this week is tacky and annoying, yeah, but to those of us who went to the school, there's more to it than the saccharine entitlement on the surface. When my class graduated from Andover two years ago, we marveled and fretted about the place: The kids are ...
Cockblocked By Your Own Underwear!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
The Lady Whose Face Got Mauled By A Chimp Does Not Look Like A Lady Whose Face Got Mauled By A Chimp Anymore
The first post-face-transplant photograph of Charla Nash was released today. Nash is the woman who got "mauled by an out-of-control chimpanzee" named Travis, who was in a bunch of commercials and lived with a widow in Connecticut....
Let's Watch Cowboys In Police Cars Try To Lasso An Escaped Bull
"We've had wildlife in the city before, but I don't remember a bull being downtown and you're right ... we were concerned for the bull and for citizens' safety." — Mike Hirman, Auburn (WA) Police Department [WJBF]...