x Page 923 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Evander Holyfield, Bringer Of Light
Holyfield wants to convert his mansion to a solar energy farm, and sell the power. I'm sure this has nothing to do with his financial troubles, and everything to do with genuine care for the environment. [AJC]...

Where'd Our Boobs Go, FOXSports?
It's Thursday, which means the latest edition of their "fleshy" "comedy" series. I'm sure you knew that. Doesn't look like any bare breasts made it on this week, but I'm not watching all 16 goddamn minutes to make sure. [FOXSports.com]...

Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Plaxico Burress' Sweat Pants
Plaxico Burress's saga has now reached its sad dénouement, with the former Giant matriculating into the New York penal system. One loose end remains, however: the matter of the sweat pants he wasn't wearing. Who's responsible for the sweat-pants misinformation?...

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: <em>The Machine</em>
Today, we have a selection from Deadspin favorite Joe Posnanski's The Machine, a rollicking account of the 1975 Reds. Buy the book here. Read his blog here. Joe's in the comments now, awaiting your demeaning questions....

And The Red Sox/Yankees Rivalry Is Still Punchy
Red Sox 2004 rallying cry: "Why Not Us?" Red Sox 2009 rallying cry: "Go home to ya mutha!" [Busted Coverage]...

Fancyman NBC Columnist Would Like To Teach “Boorish” Jets Fans Some Manners
Michael Ventre has made a career out of condemning the sinners of sport with his fancy moralizing. But many feel his latest screed— "Fat, Boorish Jets Fans Have a Slovenly Coach to Match"— may have gone too far....

Rikers Inmates Are Apparently Jets Fans
"Plaxico Burress got a zero's welcome behind bars at Rikers Island, including taunts of 'a - - hole!' and 'The Giants suck!' according to jail guards." [New York Post]...

If You Were Worried Kimbo Slice Wouldn't Have Anyone To Beat Up, Relax
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Megan Fox Will Kick You In The Boner
Jennifer's Body tanked this weekend. I assume there are any number of reasons why. But somewhere on that list has to be the fact that people aggressively don't give a shit about Megan Fox....

If Boxing Weren't Dead Already, Max Kellerman Would've Killed It On Saturday
The most entertaining part of Saturday's Mayweather-Marquez fight—and I use that term loosely—was Max Kellerman's post-fight confrontation with Mayweather. It is the most abrasive piece of broadcast journalism since Jim Gray's All-Star Game interrogation of Pete Rose....

Rex Ryan's Voicemail Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like New York Jets coach Rex Ryan, who won this weekend with one well-placed phone call. No, it wasn't to Batman....

Keep Your Boobs Out Of My Sports, FOXSports
So, what happened to FOXSports' attempt to one-up two-up other sports sites by featuring actual uncensored nudity? Taken down in a hot minute. Unfortunately, since this is the Internet, there is nowhere else to find pictures of breasts. [Sporting News]...

Floyd "Fatty" Mayweather Fined For Performance Enhancing Blubber
Floyd Mayweather weighed 146 pounds at yesterday's weigh-in, 2 pounds over the stipulated limit for tonight's fight against Juan Marquez. The flub(ber) will cost him 600k, at 300k per pound...If only my girlfriend had that clause. Zing! [ESPN]...

I'll See Your Vagina And Raise You A Penis
Due to an obscure legal loophole called The Constitution, business can't restrict ladies' nights promotions to women. So when a man entered a ladies' poker tournament in Atlantic City, guess what happened?...

Floyd Mayweather Doesn't Believe In A Postracial America Either
Mayweather is going to get paid $5 million for his fight Saturday night, but he's a little unhappy with his treatment by the media and public. Dropping the N-bomb four times in four sentences unhappy....

Expository Writing
Hi everyone! Did you guys say you wanted us to write another thing about Derek Jeter? Okay! Your funeral!!!...

The Exception That Proves Exactly Nothing
One of our favorite gambits here at FJM is the old "use the exception that proves the rule to yell at someone for not thinking the exception is the rule" gambit....

Chris Myers Compares Playing For Detroit To Dating Whoopi Goldberg
TMZ has the full quote from Myers, who tried to humorously correlate what it must be like for linebacker Larry Foote to go from the Super Bowl champion Steelers to the coldness of the D....

Finally, The Harvard Crimson Will Get Some Media Attention
ESPNBoston is live. No, the URL does not just redirect to "Sports Guy's World." [ESPNBoston]...

Does Miguel Cabrera Need a Valtrex Prescription?
Wow, that's a grody canker, isn't it? Anyway, Michigan and Notre Dame are still battling it out and USC and Ohio State comes later, so consider this your open thread. And oh, I have a fun story for y'all!...