x Page 963 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Will Not Improve Your Curveball, Jewish Or Not
As Jews prepare for their fast come sundown this Friday — it is extremely rude to show up at a Jewish friend's house Friday night and sloppily devour a pizza, so you know — we showcase one of the few pieces of Jewish sports memorabilia you'll find, and certainly the most Judaism-specific....
Here Come The Yankees ... Howdy Do!
Everything is coming up pinstripes lately, and Boston fans are none too happy, of course. Andy Pettitte earned his 200th win and Mariano Rivera escaped a bases-loaded jam in the ninth as the Yankees beat Orioles 2-1 Wednesday, New York pulling to within 1½ games of first-place Boston. Do I need to m...
Rage Against The Machine
This happened a while ago, but hey, whaddya gonna do? Stationary bikes, meant to bring mankind together through the shared experience of pointless effort, have instead become instruments of violence and wanton destruction. Let the record show that the first recorded incident of "spin rage" occurred ...
Oscar De La Hoya Is Feeling Even More Pretty Than Usual
We're not sure what the heck was going through Oscar de la Hoya's mind when he posed for these photos, and, frankly, we probably don't want to. There's another after the jump, and you can find the whole sordid spread right here. Yipes....
The Yankees 2 1/2 Games Back? Inconceivable!
Well, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day (as if I had to tell you), and fittingly we must report that the Dread Pirate Roberts is now in sight of the first-place Red Sox, and gaining rapidly. The Yankees, who were 14 1/2 games behind Boston in May, are now well within striking distance wi...
Jon Kitna Was Sacked For Your Sins
You just knew that when God finally made his presence known to mankind, it would be to heal a journeyman NFL quarterback's minor head injury. So you Iraqi kids with missing limbs, you're just going to have to wait your turn. Jon Kitna's got to take care of business!...
Things Change
The 1962 New York Mets lost 120 games and finished 60 1/2 games out of first, a result which could not have been worse if Lucy Van Pelt had played in their outfield. But the current Mets have accomplished something that their '62 brothers never did: They have made 10 errors in their past two games....
Yes, We Do Acknowledge The WNBA Champions
We have a firm rule around these parts: When a team wins the championship of a national professional sports league that shows up on national telecasts, they get a congratulatory post....
One Sweet Afternoon For Jim Thome
If you ask me, Jim Thome is exactly the kind of guy to whom Willy Wonka would have left his chocolate factory. (I also sometimes imagine Bob Costas as an Oompa Loompa). Think of baseball with no cattle steroids or corked bats or "You dead, dawg," or Human Growth Hormone or Jose Canseco book signings...
Honey, I Shrunk The AL East Lead
Here we go again ... The Yankees honey mustered six runs in the eighth, immediately erasing a five-run deficit, en route to an 8-7 victory over the Sox at Fenway. Jason Giambi and Robinson Cano started the comeback with home runs off Hideki Okajima. Derek Jeter followed with an RBI single against Jo...
Boxing Just Wants To Host Keggers
Boxing's popularity might be on the wane, to say the least (among white people, anyway), but Roy Jones Jr. is not afraid to be innovative. He's searching everywhere for an untapped base of fans, and he's even willing to join a frat to do it....
It's Time for Sunday Night Football in U.S. America (This Time on Sunday!)
After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys....
Herm Edwards, 0-1, The Way God Intended
I think we were pretty sure that Cleveland wouldn't rock this year, and New England smashing the Jets this year shouldn't really surprise anybody. And even Minnesota blowing out a Harrington-led Falcon team shouldn't raise too many eyebrows... ...
Some First Half Updates...Quickly
Since all of us PC folk are now watching these games via streaming video, these updates are just for you Mac people. But, hey, Jeff Goldblum still thinks, uh, that you're, ah, a great guy-ee!...
May Pete Rose Live Long And Die Out
Perhaps you've heard of the new book The World Without Us, Alan Weisman's blow-by-blow account of what would happen on Earth if all human beings suddenly disappeared. But if you think this book is just some environmentalist's wet dream, you're wrong. Dead wrong. People, I give you The Voluntary Huma...