x Page 962 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Boring Bag! Your Temporary Fun Bag Replacement
While the Funbag is away, we still play, albeit dully. Time for The Boring Bag!...

Another Strongman Named Tito Emerges, This One Half-Naked
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Jet Blue: A Multimedia Analysis Of Rex Ryan's Swearing, Week 3
Every week, Alan Siegel and Deadspin's crack video team will break down Rex Ryan's frequent use of profanity on HBO's Hard Knocks. Episode 3: a total "shit"-fest featuring a stirring comeback by "fuck."...

Last Night's Winner: Manny Ramirez And His Unnecessary Translator
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Manny Ramirez, who in his first presser with the White Sox pretended not to speak English and required the translation services of third base coach Joey Cora....

Have Rewards Points From Your Favorite Team's Credit Card? Not No More You Don't
The NFL is phasing out their relationship with Bank of America, meaning any points you've earned in the ubiquitous "Extra Points" program expire in, oh, seven hours. Darn! So close to that Roethlisberger coozy. [NFL Extra Points]...

Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....

Early Winner For Deserved Maiming Of The Year Award
A high school student is suing his teacher and the city after he nearly electrocuted himself after hooking his nipples up to electrical clamps in shop class. Also, D batteries are not butt plugs. [AP]...

Cut Loose: A Montage Of Movie Dancing
Sure this video starts off as a montage of people opening and closing doors, but by the time it's over, you've seen one of the better tributes to cinematic two-stepping. Enjoy. [Kottke, via Skeets]...

Brandon Spikes Sex Tape Is $1,500 Well-Spent (Confirmation Update)
The Chatroulette performance that wasn't quite up to our athlete dong standards finally finds a home, at WorldStarHipHop. Judge for yourself if it's actually him, but don't do it at the office. [NSFWBOOBSANDPENIS]...

Thai Police Catch Attempted-Murder Suspect, Take Amusing Picture
Prasop Homhuan (pointee)—wanted in connection with one of those Asian karaoke murders—was apprehended after more than a year on the run. The authorities then took a picture clearly showing that they had gotten their man. [Phuket Gazette, via @jeffkoyen]...

Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Toni Kukoc
Welcome to Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater, the frequent feature where we examine fan-made video love letters to athletes and their baffling soundtrack choices. Today's superstar: the Croatian Sensation, Toni Kukoc, set to Michael Jacksons's "Remember The Time."...

Science Wins Again: Heavy Drinkers Live Longer
Hey teetotalers: not only are you a drag, you're going to die younger. Live slow, die fast, jerks....

Wu Tang Raetz Ain't No One To F*ck Wit
Dennis Raetz is described as "Indiana State University's most successful football coach." Rarefied air, for sure, but Raetz also went batshit loco after Terre Haute North converted a two-pointer to beat Terre Haute South. Fist to pressbox-glass style, yo....

Does This Boxer Fake Injury To Avoid Fighting?
Let's take a look at the first round of this junior-welterweight bout pitting Jeremy "Hollywood" Bryan (13-1, 6 KO) vs. Daniel "Phantom Injury?" Mitchell (5-1-1, 2 KO) in Newark, NJ....

Jay Cutler, Chicago's O-Line Have Trust Issues
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Everybody Needs To Stop Talking About The Cubs' Future For A Few Months
After Lou Piniella announced he was retiring after last Sunday's game—fittingly, it was a blowout—the Chicago and national media started yammering on about who would replace him, and What It All Means For The Cubs. Please make it stop....

John McEnroe Thinks Tennis Is Too Hard For Ladies
"I think that it's asking too much of the women. They shouldn't be playing as many events as the men...You shouldn't push them to play more than they're capable of." Also, mouthy broads talking about shopping, etc. [NYDN]...

New Yorkers React To Some Pervert Videotaping A Ballerina's Ass, Calling Everyone "Goober"
Click to view Times Square sucks, but every once in a while something special happens. Like when an impromptu photo shoot of a ballerina who is not dressed like a ballerina crosses paths with a guy who videotapes women's butts. [Carlos Miller, via Skeets]...

GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE: Hooker Edition!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

I've Never Seen Four Effeminate Filipinos So Excited
You think you were thrilled by Miss Philippines making it to the top 15 of the Miss Universe Pageant? Try these four. Sorry ladies, I know you like a guy not afraid to show his emotions, but I don't think they're interested....