yes Page 47 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

OU Mascot Not Actually OU Student
Rufus Bobcat, who tried to tackle Brutus Buckeye, isn't even an OU student, and tried out for the mascot gig just for the chance to assault Brutus....

Mascot On Mascot Violence At Ohio State (UPDATE: Brutus Speaks)
Ohio's Rufus Bobcat was lying in wait for Brutus Buckeye as he led OSU onto the field. A little harmless(?) mascot fun escalated to the point where security had to escort a man in a big foam suit off the field....

Stories That Don't Suck: The NFL's Angry Liberal
From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Dave Meggyesy, linebacker, author, poisoner of our young youth, union man....

Big Ten Divisions To Split Up Michigan And Ohio State; 7th Seal Opened
AIR RAID SIRENS! STORIED BUT INSUFFERABLE PROGRAM NOT GUARANTEED TO FACE EQUALLY STORIED, EQUALLY INSUFFERABLE RIVAL EVERY YEAR! [Washington Post]...

Lineman On Moped Meets Pickup Truck, Truck Wins
Click to view Iowa center Josh Koeppel was tooling around campus Monday morning, when he had a little run-in with a Ford F-150. Now there's video, and it's clear Koeppel forgot to flick his truck stick....

All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...

YES Network Eulogizes George Steinbrenner With Sensitively Chosen Pull Quote
Whoever did this should be fired and rehired, in the man's honor. H/T reader Adem...

The World Cup Curse Of Mick Jagger
Sits in Bill Clinton's box for USA game; USA loses. Cheers on native England squad; England loses. Brings Brazilian son to today's match; Brazil out, kid cries. Any other nations whose dreams you'd like to crush, Mick?...

Dress Your Athletes In Cornrows And Denim
Bring back all your most deeply repressed memories with this slideshow of 50 Worst Athlete Style Fails. Dwight Howard in wideleg manpris! Brett Favre rocking "Caesar bangs"! Somewhere, a Nehru jacket-clad Craig Sager shrugs, unimpressed. [Complex.com; D-League Digest]...

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...

The Ohio State Continues The <em>Glee</em>-ification of America
Reader Dave sends in this video of a flash mob taking over the Ohio Union on Monday. When are people going to learn that extravagant, coordinated routines of obnoxious songs only belong on the NYC Subways?...

The Steroids Menace Eradicated, Congress Goes After Dip
Congress called on baseball to ban players from using smokeless tobacco in the dugout. But without chaw, what am I supposed to pretend my Big League Chew is? [AP]...

Sania Mirza, Telephone Weddings, And The Weirdest Love Triangle Ever
Mirza is India's biggest tennis star. So her engagement to a Pakistani cricketer makes them basically the Tom and Gisele of the subcontinent. There's a small problem: he might have already legally married another woman — over the phone....

Argentine Outlaws Clash With Malodorous Nuts: UC Santa Barbara-Ohio State Open Thread
Can Orlando Johnson do an Evan Turner Impression and bounce the Buckeyes? Not if Thad's boys can help it. (Expect them to help it.) Michigan fans: say how much OSU sucks. OSU fans: hang out and continue ignoring Michigan fans....

Let Us Now Savor The Bitter Tears Of Michigan Fans
Current thread titles at MGoBlog's message board: "God Hates Us," "Michigan Hating God," and "At what point do I poke myself in the eye with a stick," which is about the football team. [MGoBlog, h/t BML]...

Evan Turner Shuts Up Steve Lavin With 40-Foot Buzzer Beater
Things were looking good for the Michigan basketball team. Up two, two seconds left in the game; it was in the bag. Steve Lavin said it was the perfect example of why the conference tournaments are so great....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ladies and germs, I give you Jerry Thornton of WEEI....

Telestrator Dong: Elephantiasis Edition
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...

Chirpy Korean Girl Group Likes Glitter, Knee-Highs, Iowa Hawkeyes Football
Via the good lads at Black Heart Gold Pants comes this music video for which I have no words, other than to say that it is no more inexplicable than the last time women in Korea fawned over a Hawkeye....