yo Page 447 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Shaq Makes Inadvertent Dick Joke, Everyone Loses It
He was talking about Dick Bavetta. This is the kind of thing that happens when studio analysts have to stay up until 2:00 a.m. every night....
Seriously, What The Hell Is Going On With The Pacers?
Things have been bad for the Pacers for about two months, during which the team took on the surly, listless post-holiday air of an unhappy family too long indoors. But even when they were playing their worst, it was hard to imagine this. Down 2-1 series to the eighth-seeded Hawks, the Pacers are in ...
Brad Marchand Misses Two Wide-Open Nets
Brad Marchand has to be feeling very lucky about the fact that his Bruins came away with a 3-2 victory in last night's Game 4 against the Red Wings, otherwise he would be having a very, very bad day today....
Mitch McGary Declaring For NBA Draft, Victim Of NCAA Reefer Madness
After missing most of last season with a back injury, University of Michigan forward Mitch McGary seemed likely to head back to Ann Arbor for another year of work on his sketchy offensive game and another deep run in the NCAA tournament. Instead, he'll be declaring for the NBA draft—all because he g...
Mike Miller Is Not A Chair, Kendrick Perkins
Get off of Mike Miller, Kendrick! He isn't a chair. Ah, what the heck. You deserve a quick breather. Keep workin' hard out there, Perk....
WFAN Just Obliterated Mike Francesa's Most Effective Marketer
WFAN Audio, the internet's largest repository of Mike Francesa clips, was decimated today, as WFAN/CBS issued takedown notices on hundreds of YouTube videos. This is only notable to that small subset of the population who cares what Francesa's up to, but that's kind of the point—even fewer people ar...
Insane Handbook: Bills Cheerleaders Are Told How To Wash Their Vaginas
There are a few things you need to know if you want to be a successful Buffalo Bills cheerleader. “When menstruating, use a product that [sic] right for your menstrual flow,” reads the “General hygiene & lady body maintenance” section of the handbook given to cheerleaders, known as the Jills. “A tam...
Oscar Robertson Is Right About Carmelo And The Knicks
Oscar Robertson, who is the highest order of NBA great and disagreeable sumbitch, went on SiriusXM NBA radio today and said that Carmelo Anthony should definitely leave the Knicks. There are a number of reasons why Melo should or should not leave New York, but Oscar actually hit a big one square in ...
Pine Tar Should Be Fully Legal, And Baseball Is Still Fucking Insane
As you might know, Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda got booted from a game last night for rocking a swatch of pine tar on the back of his neck, in full view of everyone. The weird thing is that it wasn't the fact that Pineda used pine tar that got everyone pissy, but the fact that he did it so blatan...
How To Cheat, Do Drugs, And Succeed At Baseball, By Dock Ellis
We're big fans of Dock Ellis, obviously, so we enjoyed this latest animated short, narrated by the man himself and excerpted from Donnell Alexander's Beyond Ellis D. Honestly, listening to Dock Ellis talk about drugs, cheating, and Gaylord Perry is almost as much fun as listening to Vin Scully talk...
Every Stanley Cup Presentation Since 1949
Via Kukla's Korner, this wonderful video shows a few seconds of each Stanley Cup ceremony dating back to the '49 Maple Leafs. Some old-timey differences are disconcerting (the top half of the trophy used to come off!), but on the whole, it's a reassuring reminder that the ultimate goal hasn't change...
LaMarcus Aldridge And His Jumper Are Here To Torment
Here's how good LaMarcus Aldridge has been against the Rockets in the first two games of their playoff series: When I first saw this obviously fake and joke-y shot chart on Twitter this morning, my first thought wasn't, "Haha what a silly and stupid thing that is." It was, "Yep. Looks about right."...
Marc-Andre Fleury Reverts To Type
Because it's the Cup, we got bad Marc-Andre Fleury....
Reporter Asks Patrick Kane "Was That Your First Overtime Game-Winner?"
Patrick Kane scored 11 minutes into tonight's overtime and helped Chicago even their series against the Blues 2-2. Afterward, a reporter asked him if it was the first time he'd ever scored a game-winning goal in overtime....
Nick Young's First Pitch For The Dodgers Was Horrendous
Swaggy P threw out the first pitch for the Dodgers tonight. It was the opposite of swaggy....
Josh McRoberts Gets Away With A Flying Elbow To LeBron's Throat
Josh McRoberts put an elbow in LeBron James's throat near the end of tonight's playoff game, but somehow, the Bobcat wasn't called for anything more than a shooting foul....
Blue Jackets Win In OT After Marc-Andre Fleury's Screwup In Regulation
The Blue Jackets won their second playoff game ever when Nick Foligno flicked a long shot past Penguins goalie Marc-Andre Fleury. But how the Pens blow a 3-0 lead in the first period? Let's go back to the end of regulation....
Michael Pineda Again Isn't Discreet About His Pine Tar, Gets Ejected
The last time Yankees pitcher Michael Pineda faced the Red Sox—on April 10—he clearly had pine tar on his hand. No one on the Red Sox brought it up, and the Yankees won. Tonight, Pineda again used pine tar, slapping on his neck before the second inning. Red Sox manager John Farrell spoke up this tim...
Even The Chicago Bulls' Security Staff Is Sick Of Joey Crawford's Shit
The Chicago Bulls have set up a kind of text-message hotline that fans can use to hail the assistance of the arena's security team. Reader Dave was at the game between the Bulls and the Wizards last night, and he tried his luck at getting referee Joey Crawford—who made a number of bad calls and whom...
Store-Bought Flavored Vodka Is Abominable. Make Your Own.
Despite what the liquor snobs'll tell you, vodka's always fine, and sometimes it's downright necessary. When you're dealing with a top-flight mixer such as fresh grapefruit juice or your own proprietary Bloody Mary blend (Spicy Hot V8 with a Bacos rim? You tricky devil!), you don't always want to gu...