yo Page 545 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yep, That's A Big Old "Fuck Y'All I'm From Texas" T-Shirt On The NFL Network
Just less than three hours until the Cowboys and Giants kick off the NFL season, which means the NFL Network's only got three more hours to give us Mike Mayock and LaDainian Tomlinson yammering away, live from a North Jersey parking lot. But take note of that dude in the background, the one who happ...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: New York Giants
Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This final 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Sean Payton Keeps His Play-Calling Sharp By Running Up The Score On Sixth-Graders
Fledgling blues keyboardist Sean Payton has to sit out this season as New Orleans Saints head coach following this summer's bounty scandal, but that doesn't mean he's been exiled from all football activities everywhere. In fact, Payton hopes to keep his play-calling chops in game shape by helping ou...

Rex Ryan Won't Make Any More Guarantees, But Declares These Jets The Best Team He's Ever Coached
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: So the Jets either make the Super Bowl, or they underperform....

Keith Hernandez Is Threatening To Shave Off His Mustache
Mets treasure Keith Hernandez tells The New York Times's Richard Sandomir that he might just shave his mustache before the final game of the 2012 season. Hernandez's old Just For Men endorsement deal required that his mustache never go gray, but that contract lapsed earlier this year—"They said our ...

The <em>Post</em> Drew Mark Sanchez As A Very Sad Clown
Today's New York Post, as a whole, crystallizes the 2012 Jets. On the cover, Tebow and Sanchez are depicted as passengers in Rex Ryan's clown car. Sanchez looks especially despondent. But the paper's big season preview article predicts that the Jets will have a winning record and return to the posts...

Will Brett Favre Have To Discuss His Penis Under Oath?
Brett Favre's (alleged!) penis is back in the news and now it's because he doesn't want it shown off. We told you last week about the two former Jets masseuses who, as part of their ongoing lawsuit against Favre alleging sexual harassment and retaliation, tried to get him to admit that photographs p...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Your Yankees Schadenfreude Update
Ha! Alex Rodriguez came back from a broken hand today after missing every game since July 24—didn't matter, Yankees still lost to the Rays after Dave Robertson gave up a run on a grounder that just barely—ah! so close!—made it to the outfield. The Yankees have lost six of their last ten....

Mark Sanchez Confidence Report
As the preseason ends and the real season begins, the most important quarterback controversy in the 6,000 year history of the world endures. We will haphazardly monitor the progress of the Mark Sanchez-Tim Tebow competition....

Yes, Penn State's Band Played "We Are Young" During Today's Game
The Penn State Blue Band put forth a rendition of Fun's "We Are Young" during the first half of today's matchup against Ohio. Should they have done that? (Chime in in the comments.) [ESPN]...

Your College Football Master Schedule: September 1
Schedule via. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the Coaches Poll....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Washington Redskins
Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here...

Brett Favre Doesn't Want To Say Whether Or Not That Was His Penis
Favre is back in football, serving as the offensive coordinator for a Hattiesburg high school. It's nice that he's keeping busy, especially as he isn't yet allowed to forget some of the nasty stuff that popped up during his stint with the Jets. No, not this woman. The other women....

Catholic School Cheerleader Hazing Involved Poopy Lap Dances, Claims This Anonymous Letter Placed In Mailboxes Across Town
Reitz Memorial High School, in Evansville, Ind., bills itself as "providing an exceptional educational opportunity," while offering "a Christian community where young people are valued and cherished." The 87-year-old school has a rich sporting tradition—Tigers teams have won numerous state titles in...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Philadelphia Eagles
Some people are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here...

Who Really Hits The Homers In <em>The Kid Who Only Hit Homers</em>? The Depressing Message Of Matt Christopher's Classic Book
Is The Kid Who Only Hit Homers a fable about the value of teamwork? Or is it a tale of using magic to get ahead, in which Babe Ruth is to Sylvester Coddmyer III as the devil is to Robert Johnson? The book, Matt Christopher's 1972 chef d'oeuvre, introduced the world to young Sylvester Coddmyer III, t...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

The Good, The Bad And The Smugly. <em>Lawless</em>, Reviewed.
1. It is strange to consider the fact that Shia LaBeouf considers Lawless an art film. Only a guy who has spent his adult life standing in front of a green screen while Michael Bay screams "I dunno, just, like, run like crazy, and shit" could consider Lawless some sort of higher, refined form of exp...

Gregg Williams Gave A Pep Talk To His Old High School Football Team
Disgraced former Rams, former Saints defensive coordinator Gregg Williams is taking some time off to find himself, after being given a year to do so for his role in New Orleans's bounty scandal. Last we heard, he was backpacking through northern Thailand and spending time with the native tribes, but...