yo Page 617 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Here's Ndamukong Suh Dancing To Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold"
When we last checked in on Ndamukong Suh, he was eating himself. Now he's tweeting himself dancing to "Hot n Cold." This is his first and likely last Katy-Perry-inspired video, as the lockout looks close to over and he'd have to get a permit to strap fireworks to his chest in Michigan. [Complex]...
Former Phillies Reliever Ricky Bottalico Is Worried About Roy Oswalt's Bulging Dick
Crossing Broad brings us another highlight to add to the already lengthy reel of sports broadcasters talking about bulging dicks....
You Can Say "Circumcising Mosquitoes" On <em>PTI</em>, But You Can't Say It Thrice
The gentlemen on Pardon The Interruption exceeded the quota for the amount of times one can say some variation of the phrase "circumcising mosquitoes" on live television today. Cowlishaw, quoting (and imitating) Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, gets in two mentions, but Wilbon never gets his chance. The...
World Peace And Breast Milk: An Evening With Ron Artest, Funny Man
In late August, after a review by the Los Angeles Superior Court, Ron Artest will legally change his name to Metta World Peace. His basketball jersey will say "WORLD PEACE." "With a space and everything," his publicist said....
Chris Kluwe's 'Downfall' Parody Has Hitler Calling Lockout Negotiators "Lazy Shitfucks"
Downfall parodies seem like they're somehow older than the internet by now. But when one is made by an actual NFL player, we're willing to listen. And Vikings punter Chris Kluwe does a pretty good job of capturing what we're all feeling about the lockout these days....
Watch Jose Reyes Bust Heavily Autotuned Reggaeton Rhymes With The Best Of 'Em
Jose Reyes is awesome at baseball—he bats .354/.398/.529 at the premier defensive position, and that's to say nothing of how exciting he is with a full head of steam, sliding into third after cracking one into the gap....
Breaking: Eddy Curry Still A Fat-Ass
"Curry, 28, reportedly topped 350 pounds during his late March workout for the Heat. He lost a lot more weight - in excess of 20 pounds - between that point and late June, when he auditioned again for the Heat over several days. But he entered the lockout still at least 40 pounds overweight, accordi...
Aaron Rodgers Does Not Think You Should Drive Drunk Or Uninformed About Car Insurance
Super Bowl XLV MVP Aaron Rodgers has spent a portion of his locked-out off-season in the company of David Gruber, a personal-injury attorney whose office number includes the word "HURT." Together, they've filmed a pair of commercials, the first of which urges Wisconsinites to enjoy "fun, festivals...
Mets Reliever Taylor Buchholz, On DL For Depression, Says He Felt Bad Crying To Another Man
Taylor Buchholz—who was actually decent in 26 relief innings for the Mets this year—is on the DL with depression. This is not altogether unusual: note Khalil Greene and Dontrelle Willis. What's unusual is the way Buchholz described his condition and the way AOL Patch explained his condition further....
Chelsea's Yossi Benayoun Shows Off A "Cheeky Finish" In A "Behind-Closed-Doors" Friendly Match
EPL powerhouse Chelsea played its first preseason match of the year yesterday. They did so against a woefully overmatched foe, the Wycombe Wanderers. Four minutes in, Yossi Benayoun fancied the ball into the net in a fashion that would stand out even at the end of the season. Good for Yossi. (H/T ...
Now Playing: The Coldplay-Scored Trailer For Tony Romo's Wedding
The NFL quarterback wedding season is officially upon us, America, and for that, we are thankful — because the quarterbacks in question keep making embarrassing documentation of their weddings available to the general public. First, there was Mr. and Mrs. Flacco in formation, and today, we present...
Would You Kill A Stranger To Save Football?
Last week, I went to the gym and went inside the locker room to change before I worked out (POWER LIFTING GRRR STRONG!), and when I went to pull my gym clothes out of the bag a pair of my kid's underwear went flying out of the bag onto the floor. They had gotten there by accident during laundry fold...
The Fan Who Caught Jeter's Ball Still Has A Few Hundred Thousand Dollars In Student Loan Debt
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Christian Lopez probably should have taken an econ class....
My 3,000th Hit
Derek Jeter gave me the only baseball I ever got at a game. It was spring training in Tampa, and I was watching the Yankees practice from behind the dugout. Jeter jogged in with a ball, about to give it to the crowd. At first, I started to wave for it, but then, noticing the other 20 similarly aged ...
Presenting The World’s Dick-Suckingest Derek Jeter Column
In a world where every member of the sports media lines up enthusiastically to lap up whatever fluid comes out of Derek Jeter's penis, we now have a new champion when it comes to Jeter's canonization. It comes from Ian O'Connor at ESPN, and it made Ken Tremendous cry. Come take a look at this shit....
When Life Gave An Elderly Pervert A Lemonade Stand, He "Repeatedly Rubbed His Breast And Groin"
Sweet Christ, did a 79-year-old convicted sex offender from Somers Point, NJ really approach a lemonade stand across the street from the police station and get all self-grabby in front of three young girls, none of whom were older than 14?...
Pacman Jones Is Wearing A Neck Brace In His Latest Mug Shot
According to Cincinnati.com, Adam "Pacman" Jones was taken into custody early this morning. Here are the details:...
Hines Ward's Manager: "The Facts Will Show That Hines Was NOT Impaired By Alcohol While Driving"
Remember that whole "Here's Hines Ward's Mug Shot" thing from this morning? Yeah, well Hines's people want you to just forget about all that....
An Attempted Translation Of DeSean Jackson's Twitter Response To That Whole Gay-Slur Issue Thing (Updated)
Last evening, Philadelphia Eagles WR DeSean Jackson, who is embroiled in a slurmantic battle over his use of the phrase "gay-ass faggot," put his thoughts on the record about said controversy. ...