yo Page 646 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

C.J. Spiller Is Prepared For His First Buffalo Winter
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Mark Sanchez Fined For Body Language
The first victim of a policy he instituted, Sanchez was fined for non-verbally blaming a teammate for a practice mistake. Mark Brunell pockets the cash. I think Brunell isn't actually an employee, and he's just living on fines and buffet scraps. [Star-Ledger]...

The Frantic Search For The Cowboys Lap Dance Girl
The titillating yet kind of gross video caused a bit of a stir yesterday, so it was natural that the young lady's identity would become a topic of discussion. Our first clue: the oft-lifted shirt....

A Roundup Of Happy San Franciscans Yelling About The Giants
In an interview with Karl Ravech following Game 5, Giants ace Tim Lincecum said he hoped "a lot of beer [was] flowing and [a lot of] smoke [was] in the air." San Francisco did not disappoint Timmy....

Knicks Game Canceled Due To Asbestos
Newsday's Alan Hahn is reporting tonight's Magic/Knicks game will be postponed after asbestos fell from the ceiling during cleaning. This is clearly a metaphor for...something....

An 86-Yard Punt Becomes Possible With Gale Force Winds (Update)
Last Tuesday's Washington-Huron playoff game featured this ridiculous punt from Huron's Derek Zwanziger. After a real boomer, the ball rolls, and rolls, then rolls a little more until Zwanziger's netted an 86-yarder. South Dakota high school football and science rule. [Argus Leader]...

<em>Don Balon</em>’s List Of The 100 Best Young Soccer Players In The World
Don Balon is a Spanish football magazine with a good line in fate-tempting articles predicting the next generation of world superstars....

For The First Time Ever, San Franciscans Are On Top Of A Muni Bus, Not Beneath It
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The San Francisco Giants Are World Champions
The Giants beat the Rangers 3-1 in Game 5 tonight for their first World Series title in 56 years, and Timmy's locks are about to get a well-deserved champagne lather....

Your "First Of Three Consecutive Cliff Lee Starts" Giants-Rangers Open Thread
If Cliff Lee does his thing better than Tim Lincecum, we go back to the Bay. If not, the Giants are champs, and Lee signs for the league minimum next year. Enjoy this, possibly our last open thread. Until 8:30....

Weekend Winner: Madison Bumgarner
There isn't much to say about Madison Bumgarner's performance last night that wasn't captured in the three strikeout pitches that briefly turned Vladimir Guerrero into Rob Deer. Watch....

Ashton, Demi In Sticky Recruiting Situation With Iowa Men's Basketball Team
According to the Des Moines Register, the University of Iowa has "admitted NCAA recruiting violations that involve husband-wife film stars Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore." Translation: They let a couple of recruits meet the "actor" and "actress."...

Video Of The Ridiculous Post-World Series Brawl At A McDonald's Is Ridiculous
This is probably the greatest fight since the Battle of the Kool Moe Dee Concert. Set the scene: Post-Game 1. A San Francisco McDonald's. Motive: Someone threw soda on someone else. And, action:...

Eli Manning's Wife Will Soon Have Two Children To Care For
St. Vincent's is no longer, but there's no stopping the Eli & Abby Manning Birthing Center: the pair is reportedly expecting a baaaaaaby. (Knowing Eli, it was a low wobbler past coverage.) Peyton will not be the cool uncle. [NYPost]...

Dallas TV Guy Can't Stop Talking About All The Stoners At The World Series
Gawker brought Newy Scruggs—intrepid NBC Dallas sports reporter and Joe Friday-style misuser of drug lingo—to our attention yesterday. He continues to be highly amusing. Here are his best weed moments so far. Enjoy. H/T Mickey....

San Franciscans Continue To Smoke Weed Unabashedly In Front Of Texas Reporters
Through two games, this is easily the most interesting aspect of the World Series. H/T Kyle....

Your "Sad Vlad Is Not A Meme" Rangers-Giants Open Thread
David Murphy will play the outfield tonight, instead of the automatic ball-return putting green the Rangers trotted out yesterday. If the Rangers can't pull out a win, this might be the last time Texans see people smoking pot. Comments. Use them....

Your "Not Cowboys-Niners" Rangers-Giants Open Thread
Lee/Lincecum is yet another matchup of aces. Maybe this one will produce the 20 innings of scoreless ball that assorted Halladay/Sabathia/Price/Liriano matchups failed at. This Rangers fan who quit his job to watch the series is hoping so. Musings in comments, please....

Cablevision Might Get The World Series After All
The FCC might intervene in the Fox-Cablevision dispute as early as today, so there is hope for you yet Cablevision Subscribers Who Have Not Yet Just Bought A $5 Antenna. [@bizballmaury]...

What We Have Learned About Brian Wilson And The Machine (UPDATE)
Yesterday, we alerted you to our investigation into Brian Wilson's strange relationship with someone called The Machine. We have since received many leads about the identity of the Machine and just what it all means....