yo Page 647 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Happy-Footed Jets-Colts Open Thread
With the wheezing green clown car that is the New York Jets football club lurching into a wild card berth, we are guaranteed at least one more opportunity for an awkward fetishist press conference that will eventually become a Coors Light ad....

Your Medium-Sized Seahawks-Saints Open Thread
If the Seahawks win this game, there is no god. Unless –- wait — there is a god and he is prone to merciful acts such as that time when the Seahawks made the playoffs with a losing record....

Qwest Field Says Its Beers Were Actually A Great Deal. Are They Drunk?
Qwest Field was exposed yesterday as a temple of avarice and graft, where honest fans buying large beers were duped into paying for medium-size beers. Qwest Field has been exposed today as the headquarters of a cut-rate spin machine....

Terrelle Pryor Will Gank Your Sign
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A Former Player Responds To Roger Goodell's Open Letter
What a buzzkill. On the eve of the playoffs, just when fans' excitement in the sport is cresting, Roger Goodell tripped on his shoestrings again, puked all over his keyboard, and then hit "send."...

Should NFL Teams Start Overtime With An Onside Kick?
Brian Burke's calculator says yes. [Slate]...

The WJC Was Won By Orcs
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Jets Send Some More Things Down The Memory Hole
Apropos of nothing, this on-site document shredding truck is currently parked outside the Jets' practice facility....

Tony Allen Whupped O.J. Mayo Over A Gambling Debt
Allen and Mayo got into a scrape on the team flight home Monday, over, what else, a card game. At least no one pulled a gun this time....

Walt Frazier Is Explaining And Splatter Painting
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Wonderful World Of Twitter Prostitutes, Starring Ronny Turiaf And Ms. Candy Deepthroat (UPDATE)
Twitter has opened up a whole new world where skirt-chasers and jersey-chasers can pursue each other with a minimum of fuss. At least until the girl puts the athlete on blast....

NFL Punishes Jets For Exposed Body Part That Is Not Brett Favre's Penis
The league has fined the Jets $100,000 for Sal Alosi's wandering foot, which probably comes to something like $10,000 per inch. If that's the going rate, Brett Favre totally got railroaded....

Ohio State Players Who Took Discounted Stuff Will Return For Another Year Of Nominally Unpaid Labor
The Tattooed Five will be back in Columbus next year, per an agreement with Jim Tressel, who will teach the players a hard lesson about not paying for stuff by bringing them back for another year of unpaid football....

Favre To Be Fined For Texts
Reports have Roger Goodell fining, but not suspending Brett Favre for his actions in the Jenn Sterger scandal....

I'm Kind Of Starting To Enjoy Sidney Crosby, And Other Random <em>NHL 24/7</em> Observations
Last night was the second of four HBO 24/7: Penguins/Capitals: The Road to the Winter Classic episodes. Here, a few thoughts more disjointed than Matt Hendricks's face....

The OSU Punishments Are An Embarrassment To The NCAA, And Show Exactly Who Cares About Bowl Games
Terrelle Pryor and four other Buckeyes will miss five games next year, but will play in this year's Sugar Bowl. An odd punishment, one that illustrates the corporate interests at play and the apparent validity of the "I didn't know" defense....

Don't Worry: In The Event Of An NFL Lockout, Bob Costas Will Still Get Paid
Here's a letter from Mary Cavallaro of the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists. In it, she assures the NFL broadcasters among her membership that they'll still get paid their current salary even if there are no NFL games to broadcast....

Rex Ryan's Awkwardest Of Press Conferences
Rex Ryan is facing the assembled media for his regularly-scheduled press conference. Let's watch!...

Remembering The "Lorchcast," Worst Sportscast Ever
On Dec. 19, 1995, Matt Lorch, a fill-in sportscaster for KHQA in Quincy, Illinois, endured nearly six minutes on-air with malfunctioning videos, unplanned catch-phrases, and one of the most heartbreaking sighs ever sighed. Fifteen years later, we remember Lorchcast....

Frivolous Lawsuit Theater: Seahawks Fan Hit By Jet's Giant Snowball Wants Some Money
You'll recall the Jets being pelted with snowballs by the Seattle crowd, when Shaun Ellis decided to return the favor. Two years later, a fan has decided to sue....