yo Page 669 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Happy Valentine's Day, You Poor Bastard (Veracity Update)
To some people, proposing on the big screen at a hockey game is the most romantic idea imaginable. Not to the woman who stormed out after being popped the question at the Rangers game today....
In Wayne Gretzky's Nightmares, He Still Waits For The Goddamn Robot Cauldron To Goddamn Open
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
So You Think NU Can Dance, Weeks 6 & 7: In Which Joe Lunardi Has A Scarlett Johansson Fantasy
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Record: 16-8. Tournament prospects: NIT prospects? Great!...
Rey Maualuga Feels Up A Dwarf: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....
Cameron Diaz Has Unenviable Task Of Bringing Yankees 28th World Series
According to Ok! magazine, Cameron Diaz has hopped on the Blue-Lipped Express that is Alex Rodriguez. The two were seen dancing and being flirty with each other over the weekend. So that means they're totally doing it. [OK!]...
Uproar Over 13-Year-Old Recruit Symbolizes The Grim Specter Of Death
It would be easy to say that the verbal commitment of a 13-year-old crystalizes everything that's wrong with college sports. But the real reason there's been so much handwringing is simple: it makes us realize we're old....
Rex Ryan's Wayward Finger Is A Problem, For Some Reason
Rex Ryan is very sorry that he held up a middle finger to a bunch of drunks who were cursing at him. It really put a damper on the ritualistic human combat taking place directly behind him....
Randy Winn The Final Straw For Aggrieved Yankee Fan
The signing of Randy Winn instead of Johnny Damon has convinced one season ticket holder not to renew. I agree. A lineup of only eight 8-figure salaried all-stars just doesn't show enough of a commitment to winning....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...
So You Think NU Can Dance, Weeks 4 & 5: We Are America's Team!
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Record: 14-6. Tournament prospects: Stranger things have happened....
This North Jersey-Indianapolis Turf War Is Getting Out Of Hand
No Taser this time, just a Jets fan getting his skull broken in a fight after Sunday's game. No suspects yet, as Midwesterners don't snitch, out of politeness. [Staten Island Advance]...
The Backup Catcher, The NBA Journeyman's Wife, And The Gropey Grandpa
More details emerge in the arrest of Gerald Laird and his prospect brother after a drunken brawl at a Suns game. The whole thing was set off when their grandfather groped a Celtics wife. Isn't that how it always happens?...
NOLA Mayor Still Needs Super Bowl Tickets
He's got some good leads, though. Glengarry leads. "Some people seem to forget I come from the business environment. So I got contacts at ESPN, USAToday, you name it. So I'm going to work it out." [NOLA]...
Mets Employee Steals From Team; Surprisingly Not An Omar Signing
A Shea Stadium security guard, supposed to be looking out for looters, helped himself to pretty much anything not nailed down. Except Luis Castillo. The Mets can't pay people to take him. [NYDN]...
Randy Orton Would Like You To Know He Did Not Spit On That Handicapped Child
Earlier in the month, the WWE star had a confrontation with a teenager in a restaurant parking lot. The kid filed an assault complaint, claiming Orton cussed him out and spat gum at him. Now Orton shares his side....
Kentucky Back On Top...For About 36 Hours
As most of you know, Kentucky was toppled by unranked South Carolina last night, their first game as number one in the country. Some overzealous T-shirt makers look a little foolish today....
Just In Case There Was Any Doubt That It Was Greg Oden's Penis
The formal letters from Oden's management, BDA, have invaded the inboxes of websites across the country, including (surprise) ours. The letter is attached below. It is safe for work....
Angry Indy Cops vs. Drunk Jets Fan: The Video
Video of the "tasered" Jets fan has finally surfaced, and I don't want to spoil it for you, but it looks like at least one Indianapolis police officer is living life on a very thin edge....
Jets Fans Don't Fare Much Better Against Indianapolis Police
Everyone expects sadistic fascist police action in San Diego, but surely the good Midwestern people of Indianapolis (a.k.a., Real America) would welcome visiting football fans with open arms? Or you know....taser them in the parking lot....