yo Page 745 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Wild Card Pants Party: Seahawks Vs. Redskins
All right, kids, the playoffs are beginning Saturday, so it's time to start sorting some of these wild-card matchups. We find one game compelling, two somewhat intriguing and one rather dull. This is in that middle category....
The Only Playoff Simulation That Matters
Above is the second half of the Giants-Buccaneers tilt; it's amazing how compelling watching the final seconds turns out to be. We are almost certain that will be more entertaining than the actual game....
Isiah Thomas Is Many Wonderful, Vibrant Shades Of Crazy
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a copy of which I carry at all times, a delusion is defined as: "A false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality." There are three photos of Isiah Thomas next to the entry. Just prior to the Knicks' a 107-97 l...
Patriots Fans Are Deranged, Buxom
A lot of people say that they're Patriots' fans, but how many are willing to bare their breasts for the cause? (No, not you, sir; please sit down). Sorry if I'm late to the party with this, but I've only just heard of wannabe actress Cheryl Ling, who is better known as the topless Patriots superfan ...
Isiah Passes Grueling Two-Week Evaluation Of Self
Isiah Thomas gave himself two weeks to get his act together, or he would fire himself as coach of the New York Knicks. The two weeks were up on Tuesday, so what's the verdict? Although the Knicks finished 1-4 during that span — including four straight losses — Isiah happily announced on Tuesday that...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch on your free Green Bay Packers furniture (pending favorable Super Bowl result) ... • College football: Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl, Kentucky vs. Florida State, at Nashville (4 p.m. ET); Chick-fil-A Bowl, Clemson vs. Auburn, at Atlanta (7:30 p.m., ET). Guests of the Gaylord Hotels Mu...
About Last Night
What you missed while commemorating the 30th anniversary of Elvis' death ... • NFL: Thrilling Titans-Colts action starring Kerry Collins, plus gratuitous Craphonso Thorpe reference. Tennessee 16, Indianapolis 10. • NBA: Blazers, Celtics rule all, generously allow us to breath their air. • NHL: If yo...
The NFL Playoff Picture Explained
Country X is planning to attack country Y, and country Y is anticipating the attack. Country X can either attack by land or by sea. Country Y can either prepare for a land defense or a sea defense. If X launches an attack by sea and Y prepares a defense by sea the probability of a successf— BAH! I'm...
NFL Roundup: The Perfect Pats
I'd like to extend my sincerest thanks to the NFL for allowing me to watch last night's football game. In fact, If Greg Bryant Gumbel hadn't been calling the action; I might have even considered it one of the most entertaining games I'd ever watched. (Seriously, he blows.) Did I jump off my couch wh...
Can The Giants Slay The Giant?
Better bust out the good potato chips for this one, folks. Instant history kind of demands an "All-Dressed" rippled. The Patriots close out their 2007 regular season against the New York Giants tonight as they attempt to become the fourth team in the NFL's 88-year history to finish a regular season ...
Ex-Yankee Jim Leyritz Drives Drunk, Kills Woman
Oh gee, what a glorious way to end the sports year! Ugh. Former Yankees catcher Jim Leyritz was arrested Friday on charges of driving under the influence and killing another driver. He posted the $11,000 bond and was released. (Note: $11,000 can pay for one hell of a cab ride, Jim.)...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch on your new TV that is larger than the actual playing field being televised ... • College football: Pacific Life Holiday Bowl, Arizona State vs. Texas, at San Diego (8 p.m., ET) Let the Pac-10 Holiday Bowl humiliation continue. [ESPN] • College basketball: Nevada at North Carolina (7 p...
Sadly, We Won't Get Another MSG Trial
Apparently, the folks over at Madison Square Garden are finally learning a lesson or two: They're settling their sexual harassment lawsuits before they turn into public relations armageddons....
Knicks Ready To 'Turn The Page' After Tragic Coach Mauling
Our story so far: Skeets is still under quarantine in a small room at the Canadian border, and will not return to the NBA Closer until next week. Filling in today is Nancy K. Kopp, Chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Maryland Retirement and Pension Agency....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you settle down for a long winter's nap ... • NFL: Denver at San Diego. (8 p.m.) Shanahan looks as close to an elf as you're gonna get. [ESPN] • Movie: How The Grinch Stole Christmas (8 p.m.) They say that Belichick's heart grew three sizes that day. [ABC] • Movie: The Godfather (9 ...
Look, Ugly Yankees Merchandise
So, you're about nine hours from Christmas, and you still haven't bought anything. You're screwed, pretty much. Shame, too; if you had thought ahead, you could have had some hideous New York Yankees gear....
Today's Episode: Isiah Has An Epiphany
Skeets is off celebrating Christmas Eve the way that all Canadians do; pantsless and migrating with a herd of elk. So your NBA Closer today is being written by United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson. Do enjoy....
Brigham Da Noise, Brigham Da Funk
We've been fortunate so far that most of the bowl games have given us actual watchable football. Sure, while many of the games are devoid of tradition ("New Mexico! It's ... culture!") but so what? The way the bowl system is set up, fans normally bludgeoned with story after story of Tim Tebow and Le...
About Last Night...
What you missed while publicly executing Santa Claus... • NFL: Matt Moore was disrupted by printouts of ... your mom. Cowboys escape Carolina with a 20-13 win. • NCAA Football: Best two out of three then? BYU avenges regular season loss to UCLA in the Las Vegas Bowl. • NCAA Basketball: Oregon loses ...