yo Page 805 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight ...
What light through yonder window breaks? 'Tis Doritos, and this picante sauce is the sun ... • College FB: Tennessee at LSU. The only group of Volunteers who are not welcome in Louisiana. [ESPN2] • MNF: Chiefs at Broncos. If you have any idea what John Madden is talking about, please let us know. [A...

Roger Clemens And His Funny Shirts
More Webshot findings from the ladies of On The DL, and though none are quite as damning as the married Brandon Arroyo housing poor college students on his lap, there's still some pretty fun stuff. Not least of which are creative shirt designs from Phillies outfielder Pat Burrell (whom this blind ...

NFL Roundup: Kickers Soak Up All The Drama
• Like everyone else who is prone to breaking their spine whenever there's a stiff wind, we've always had an affinity for kickers. So when Cowboys bully tackle Larry Allen went after former XFL kicker Jose Cortez after he missed an extra point — to be fair, Cortez got a little lipp — we cringed th...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while declaring a thumb war with your Iraqi neighbor ... • NFL: Patriots 23, Steelers 20. Once again, mighty Steel Town reduced to tears by hobbit-like Adam Vinatieri. • MLB: Yankees, Red Sox both win to stay tied for division lead; will decide things in Wrestlemania VII. • NFL: Beng...

Giants Fans Remain Most Erudite In Sport
We once went to a St. Louis Cardinals-New York Yankees game at Yankee Stadium with a smattering of fellow Cardinals fans. There was a rain delay, and our group — all dressed in loud red, of course — watched the Bleacher Creatures amuse themselves, treating the benches like Slip-n-Slide's and parti...

Derek Jeter ... REVEALED! (Uh, by CBS.)
After its rather incomprehensible look at Miami Dolphins hemp advocate Ricky Williams last week, "60 Minutes" continues to scrape the filthy underbelly of the sports world with a cutting look at Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter. You won't believe the dirt they've uncovered. It's Derek Jeter LIKE YOU'...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while your JetBlue flight was circling LAX for three hours ... • MLB: Yankees fail in determined attempt to choke, go game up on Red Sox. • MLB: Willis bats seventh, earns pitching victory. Those wacky Marlins. • Presidents Cup Golf: Tiger Woods does not play well with others....

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch if and when your pit bull decides to relinquish the remote ... • PGA: Valero Texas Open. Bart Bryant, we have come to topple you from your lofty pedastal. The thrill ride is over. Prepare to give up the Valero Texas Open trophy! [ESPN] • MLB: Orioles at Yankees. Big Stein smells a divi...

And So It Begins ...
Prepare for the gnashing of teeth and rending of garments: The Yankees have passed the Red Sox in the American League East. With only 11 games left to go — and an ominous three-game set at Fenway to end the season — we have yet another chapter of Yankees-Red Sox drama. Please do not accuse of East...

About Last Night ...
You entered Harrah's Reno at noon and security deposited you outside on the lawn sometime around 3 a.m. Here's what you missed ... • MLB: Yankees beat Orioles to pry first place from Boston's withered, dead hands. • MLB: Bonds homers again in frenzied race against the arrival of that congressional s...

A-Rod Takes His Swings
So far, we've revealed that Cubs 2B Todd Walker is a strip club hound and that Braves closer Kyle Farnsworth likes him some booze. For the final of the three On the DL items revealed this week, we unveil the biggest name yet. First, the item:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while building a giant peanut out of thousands of regular peanuts ... • Monarchs win WNBA title! Whoa, calm down people of Sacramento! (Sound of crickets). • MLB: Ladies and gentlemen, your division-leading San Diego Padres. • MLB: Yankees beat Orioles, remain a half-game back in que...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as all your friends are our rocking, and, sadly, you realize that you are not... • MLB: Orioles at Yankees. "Aaron Small, Big Stein is counting on you. Costanza! Where's my calzone?" [YES Network] • MLB: Red Sox at Devil Rays. Boston a half-game ahead of Yankees — time for Schilling to...

Bronson Arroyo: Now Officially A Rock Star
We were going to reveal the final of our three blind items today, but those crazy ladies at On The DL have something even better for today, so we're gonna hold off. They've put together a compendium of photos online of baseball players boozing and tarting it up with various "fans" across the count...

About Last Night ...
So, once again you've awakened at the bottom of the neighbor's empty koi pond. We'll get you up to speed ... • NFL: Redskins come back to nip Cowboys: Parcells seems like 90 years old, doesn't he? • MLB: Back by popular demand, the Red Sox curse: Yankees cut Boston's lead to a half game. • NFL: Sain...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your old high school gym teacher shows up on your porch and demands pushups ... • MNF: Saints at Giants. The hurricane just may have saved Jim Haslett's job. So that's something, anyway. [ABC] • MNF: Redskins at Cowboys. Stop by Jerry Jones' skybox and compliment him on his facelift...

Laveranues Coles: Stepping Stone To A Gay Athlete?
Is Laveranues Coles' admission that he was sexually abused by his stepfather the equivalent of a professional athlete coming out of the closet as a gay man? We wouldn't think so, but OutSports' Cyd Zeigler Jr. says they're more similar than you think....

The Minimum Wage Of The Newark Bears
We've had a grand time this morning flipping through the newest issue of New York magazine and its Salary Issue. Essentially, it looks at all different fields and examines how salaries compare to each other, and sports is one of its most entertaining entires. We have our doubts about a few of the ...

Blogdome: PBR Me ASAP
• How can you not root for a golfer who wears a Pabst Blue Ribbon hat? [The Mighty MJD • Page 2 is beginning to make us cry. [Off Wing Opinion] • A tribute to Reggie White that, mercifully, doesn't include blatant homophobic rants. [Black Athlete] • The St. Louis Rams: The most dysfunctional franchi...

NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...