The bumbling idiots of May

The bumbling idiots of May

As the summer weather heats up, so does the idiocy

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It’s that time again as we look at the buffoons of the past 31 days. This list has a number of swings and misses, whether it be Josh Donaldson opening his mouth, Greg Norman throwing up all over himself like it was the fourth-round at Augusta, or John Stockton supporting insurrectionists.

So without further ado, let’s check out these bozos!

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5. Josh Donaldson/ NY Yankee Fans

5. Josh Donaldson/ NY Yankee Fans

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How could Josh Donaldson think invoking Jackie Robinson’s name to refer to Tim Anderson was a good idea? Using one of the most important players in the history of Major League Baseball to joke around, especially with both Anderson and Robinson being Black? I can’t think of a worse choice.

Donaldson admitted to calling Anderson “Jackie” during a May 21 game between the Yankees and White Sox, resulting in an investigation and one-game suspension to Donaldson. Despite Donaldson’s original apology, he made things worse with a statement on May 26, the day of his suspension. It’s not worth repeating but it essentially reads as “I was right all along and sorry everyone else got their feelings hurt.”

Empathy and responsibility aren’t part of Donaldson’s vernacular apparently. Your feelings about whether someone else should be hurt or not are irrelevant, especially if you already know a poor choice of words infuriated them. Now, Donaldson outed himself in a few ways. He’s now made racist comments, didn’t take the proper time to reflect on his behavior, and looks like a jackass for admitting it publicly.

Did his agent approve that statement? I bet not, because why would something that ignorant see the light of day? What should’ve happened is Donaldson clearly apologizing and taking tangible steps to show he’s corrected his asinine behavior. Congrats Josh, you played yourself, you idiot.

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4. Mavericks fan

4. Mavericks fan

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The relationship between NBA players and fans has been tested repeatedly over the past couple of years. A Dallas Mavericks fan took it to another level during the playoffs when he decided to put his hands on Phoenix Suns star Chris Paul’s mother and wife.

Talk about crossing a line. This fan trampled all over that line, spat on it, and kept going. While the young man in question was eventually escorted from the American Airlines Center and banned until 2023, the NBA needs to step up and do more to prevent these incidents. Ban more folks for life, and people will start keeping their hands to themselves. But that would affect revenue, and we know the league won’t do that.

Adam Silver and NBA owners need to step up and ensure that these incidents don’t continue. The families of players shouldn’t feel threatened when they enter an arena. Heckling the opposing team and trash-talking are one thing, but touching strangers, whether they are related to players or not, is unacceptable. It’s always funny how certain people will do something to get a reaction from someone and then act surprised when they get the response and suffer the consequences of their actions.

Something needs to change soon. The NBA has changed the on-court product over the past 15 years to avoid too much physicality. Games still get physical, but it’s nothing like the 1980s through 2000s. And there’s no secret about what caused this shift. A black player ran into the crowd to attack a white fan whom he believed had thrown a beverage at him. The league couldn’t have another Malice at the Palace. And rightfully so.

Nobody wants to see players fighting fans in the crowd. But the NBA also needs to protect its players and their loved ones at games, whether home or away. Having a designated area for the families of visiting team players could go a long way in preventing something like this. It’s hard to control a crowd of thousands. We understand that. So, let’s try removing these family members from harm’s way.

We witnessed these things long before COVID, but fans seem more hostile following the pandemic and being locked inside for months. Ever since coming back into arenas last season, it feels like fans are even more unruly than before. All it’ll take is for a fan to put their hands on the wrong player’s family member, and we’ll have another Malice on our hands. Then, as usual, the player will become the bad guy in the situation regardless of whatever the fan does.

And since other fans obviously don’t feel the need to step in and call out this type of behavior when it’s happening, they all get some blame. Clearly, many other people were around when Paul’s mom and wife were accosted, and nobody stepped in before things escalated. Not surprising coming from fans of that organization the way it’s run.

Get it together, NBA. As commissioner, Adam Silver can put a stop to this.

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3. Greg Norman

3. Greg Norman

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The Shark isn’t even taking the time to quickly flick the money from Saudi Arabia to shake some of the blood off of it. It’s dripping out the side of the suitcase he stuffed it in and he isn’t even taking the time to wash his hands.

Greg Norman was asked in May about the 2018 murder of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi at the Saudi Arabian embassy in Turkey, specifically the alleged involvement of Prince Mohammed bin Salman. It’s a very relevant question, because a Saudi fund controlled by bin Salman is financing the LIV Golf Tournament in June. Norman is CEO of the tournament.

According to United States intelligence, bin Salman approved an operation that resulted in the strangling and dismembering of Khashoggi at the Saudi embassy in Turkey. The United Nations investigation concluded that the state of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia is responsible for what happened to Khashoggi.

Norman’s response when questioned: “From what I heard and what you guys reported, just take ownership of what it is,” Norman replied. “Take ownership no matter what it is. Look, we’ve all made mistakes, and you just want to learn from those mistakes and how you can correct them going forward.”

A mistake is how he referred to a nation’s extrajudicial killing of a journalist at one of its embassies. He’s already doing snow angels in the Saudi blood money, don’t make it worse by trying to glibly explain away a government-authorized assassination. It may not have been the most idiotic response he could’ve given to that question, but it probably would’ve required intention and effort to top it.

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2. John Stockton

2. John Stockton

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Stockton is fast approaching Idiot of the Month emeritus status. He’s been deservedly tarred and feathered for his dimwit tendencies so often that we may have to raise the bar for his stunts. Last month, the former Jazz point guard promised he had evidence that hundreds of student-athletes were dropping dead on the field after taking the COVID vaccine. We’re still waiting on that fascinating proof. In early May, Stockton set his asinine anti-vax, anti-mask takes to the side for a minute to harm civil society on behalf of a Capitol insurrectionist.

Stockton wrote a letter on behalf of convicted insurrectionist Janet Buhler. According to Stockton’s letter, Buhler is the wife of a naturopathic doctor who worked with the Jazz, so clearly, he doesn’t think all doctors are full of it. Buhler, who stormed the U.S. Capitol on January 6, pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor conviction after being charged with five criminal counts and requested no jail time. Based on Stockton’s description of her, Janet Buhler sounds like quite a multi-faceted individual. She plays piano and violin, is a churchgoer, volunteers, mentors, and runs a design business. Unfortunately, a list of hobbies and beliefs shouldn’t cut it here. None of what Stockton writes is a defense for what she participated in on January 6.

Stockton praised Janet’s kindness, good deeds, and especially her ART in his letter to the court. That last part is straight out of post-presidency George W. Bush’s playbook. After leading the charge for a disastrous war in Iraq, George W. attempted to rehabilitate his image by painting veterans. Rather than show remorse and accept some consequences, these people want a slap on the wrist so they can try again. It’s pretty telling that a fervent believer in conspiracy theories like Stockton is ok with openly supporting individuals who attempted to overturn an election. Next time they try, Stockton might show up to assist.

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1. Herschel Walker

1. Herschel Walker

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In trying to figure out what to say about Herschel Walker (because, where does one even start?), I Googled “Herschel Walker, incoherent,” which was the best way I could think of to describe his views on, well, anything. Here are the first three headlines:

There are plenty more where those came from, pages and pages worth. And, lest you think people are being unfair to Walker, the Trump-backed candidate for Georgia Senator, here’s what Walker suggested as a solution to gun violence: “Cain killed Abel,” Walker told Fox News.“That’s a problem that we have. What we need to do is look into how we can stop those things … What about getting a department that’s looking at young men, that’s looking at young women, that’s looking at social media.”

Dude, what?

If you’re of a certain age, you remember a time when a candidate for Senate had to have years of public service, even time in the House of Representatives, before their party would put them up for a Senate seat. These days, any yahoo can snag a Senate seat, but Walker, should he best sitting senator Rafael Warnock, will take the cake when it comes to “people who shouldn’t be here,” and consider his competition.

Instead of qualifications to serve in Congress, of which Walker has none, he does have a copious amount of red flags. He’s been caught lying multiple times about his background. He’s a COVID charlatan. He doesn’t believe in evolution. He doesn’t believe Biden won the 2020 election, but also claims that Donald Trump never said the elections as stolen.

More troubling than Walker’s tenuous relationship with the truth is his abusive behavior. His ex-wife sought a divorce and a protective order in 2001, claiming that Walker held a gun to her head and told her “I’m going to blow your fucking brains out.” And that’s not the only (or the worst) abuse she details by Walker.

This is the person the GOP has submitted as their candidate for the United States Senate. And, because there are so many people who will vote for literally anyone to “own the libs,” he has a legitimate chance at winning. Is there a better illustration of how far this country has fallen?

God help us all.

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