The Comment Of The Week Will Never Feud With 50 Cent

Welcome to Deadspin's famed Comment of the Week feature, wherein we recognize some of Deadspin's wittiest and best-written comments from the week that was, and give away valuable mystery prizes.

You waited all week for it, then I made you wait the weekend for it, and since nothing else was going on in the world of sports, you were sad and alone. But now, finally, it's time to present the first-ever Deadspin Comment of the Week award, as voted by you — the readers. It's like the Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards, only slightly less mature. Over 3300 votes were cast, and since we had Robert Mugabe himself certify the election results, you know it's legit. And the award for Deadspin Comment of the Week goes to... Stev D!

"We as a society celebrate people who kill sharks, but when someone uses their internship at the National Aquarium and comes in off hours and attempts to make love to a dolphin, I lose my college scholarship. Hypocrites."

Congratulations, Mr. D. Your prize awaits. This week's valuable prize is a baseball autographed by rapper Fat Joe, because hey — sports! If anyone guessed "baseball autographed by rapper Fat Joe" in the Deadspin Comment of the Week Prize Pool, give yourself a round of applause. Treasure it always, Stev D. The rest of you should be sure to "check out Fat Joe's new single ' One' featuring Akon; his 9th album Jealous Ones Still Envy, J.O.S.E. 2 [will be in] in stores April 7th!"

And now, this week's capricious and arbitrary nominees:

Re: Last Thursday's Duke-Binghamton live blog Wampeters, Foma, and Pat Falloon: "So, since you're a Dukie, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you're paying someone at a less prestigious university to write all this for you."

Re: "Improving" hockey by removing the fights ArkansasFred: "This is similar to my idea of improving porno by taking away all the hot chicks and close-up penetration shots and replacing them with tight shots of dudes grimacing while they orgasm."

Re: The NCAA's anti-sign, anti-Jesus stance parsley sagehenbait rosemary and thyme: "Same thing happened to the guy at the Kansas City regional with an Owen 3:16 sign."