So many players looking for milestone achievements on Tuesday; so many failures. Barry Bonds hitless, and still stuck at 754 ... no 300th win for the Mets' Tom Glavine ... no 500th homer for A-Rod. Sure, Matt Morris went from the Giants to the Pirates (?) just before the trading deadline expired. But where's the action? So we lead off Closer today with some glory from the past;'s 2007 Postseason Contest, in which fans recreate stirring moments in baseball playoff history on video, and submit 'em. The contest has only been going for a week, and some of the entries are really quite funny ... I never knew, for instance, that Aaron Boone's walkoff homer in the 2003 ALCS cleared an above-ground pool.

And methinks the one kid in the video is a little too much into the butt-slapping, probably. He's wearing No. 12, which that season was Kenny Lofton ... shouldn't he switch places with No. 2? Anyway, The Shot Heard Round The Leggo Box is also good (hmm, is that a row of Jar Jar Binkses in the stands?). My entry is going to be time-lapse photography of the growth of Barry's head (do not steal). Thanks go to Diamondhacks for the link.

Seled With A Kiss. As mentioned above, Tom Glavine was all set to claim his 300th career victory, but as they say, Bullpen Happens. Glavine allowed two hits over 6-plus innings and left with a 2-1 lead, which New York relievers gave back in the eighth. Geoff Jenkins then hit a two-run homer off of Aaron Sele in the 13th to give the Brewers a 4-2 win. Next stop on the Glavine 300 Tour, Wrigley Field. The Cubs beat the Phillies 7-3 on Tuesday, Chicago remaining one game behind first-place Milwaukee in the Central.

The Eyes Of Teixeira Are Upon You. So I suppose that we should all watch the top of the standings for Atlanta, suddenly Hotlanta after acquiring Mark Teixeira. The electricity was palpable (if electricity can be palpable) on Tuesday as Kelly Johnson had four hits, among them two homers, and five RBI to lead the Braves over the Astros 12-4. "It was kind of a buzz in here,'' Johnson said of the anticipation in the clubhouse for Teixeira's arrival. "You could feel it out there, too. It was a little bit of extra adrenalin. We're all excited.''

Me No Understand Bizarro World. Brandon McCarthy, winless since May 27, beat 13-game winner Fausto Carmona in the Rangers' 3-1 triumph over the Indians.

Oops, Sorry Mariners. Gary Matthews Jr. homered (!) as the Angels beat Seattle 8-0. Guess I picked the wrong week to declare the Mariners winners the AL West.