The Fights Page 84 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

When Legs Turn to Jello...
I don't think Deebo hit Red that hard. THAT'S MY BIKE, PUNK....

Evander Holyfield, Still Swinging Away
Holyfield's opponent last night, 41-year-old Lou Savarese, is described here as "durable." Normally a fine adjective, but when applied to a boxer, "durable" sort of means "gets punched in the head a lot." And that's what Evander Holyfield, 3 years older than Savarese, did to him last night....

Floyd Mayweather, A Heavy Spawner
Since he beat Oscar de la Hoya in the First Fight To End All Fights That Involved, In Fact, No Fighting, Floyd Mayweather has been making sure to enjoy himself. But it's all fun and games until you're served with a child-support suit at the BET Awards....

It's Raining Boxers! Hallelujah!
This man is Kelvin Davis, an American heavyweight boxer who was schedule to fight in New Zealand in a couple of days. He was out running across a bridge as part of his training and suddenly felt threatened by the oncoming cars. So ... he jumped off the bridge. It didn't work out well....

Protect Your Jewels, Macaulay!
Our childhood obsession with Mike Tyson's Punch-Out is well documented, to be sure. But exactly how would we have been scarred if we had somehow stumbled onto this version? The mind reels....

Ladies And Gentlemen, Football Great Johnnie Morton
Johnnie Morton spent most of his NFL career with the Detroit Lions. His MMA debut puts him on roughly the same career arc....

Rampage Jackson Will Knock You Out And Hump Your Leg
(UPDATE: That video is dead... but you can see it here. You should probably hurry.)...

The Less Majestic Barbaro
Proving once again (gosh, how much proof do you people need?) that he is blessed with other-worldly powers, Barbaro has expedited the reincarnation process and has gotten himself back into the world of competitive athletics. Barbaro had a boxing match last night in San Jose....

Perhaps This Was What Drugged George Foreman
So, in Cincinnati, this dad and his son decided to move their punching bag, and, on a whim, figured they'd find out, you know, what's actually in a punching bag....

Oh, Yeah, He Just Remembered
Every time someone has something new to sell, particularly a book, they need to come up with some sort of revelation, a hook, something no one has ever heard before. (For ours, we're going to confess that we're actually bald.) And sometimes they might need to make it up. We're just saying....

About Last Night...
• NASCAR: Kevin Harvick wins Nextel All-Star Challenge. That sumbitch knows how to drive. • MLB: Rockies 6, Royals 4. This rivalry is really starting to heat up. • Boxing: Jermain Taylor wins split decision over Cory Spinks. The judges cards: 117-111 for Taylor, 115-113 for Taylor ... and then 117-1...

Floyd Mayweather, Preparing For Rain
After his loss to Floyd Mayweather on Saturday night, Oscar de la Hoya likely went home, drank some tea, filed some financial papers, played with his kid, maybe reviewed some business endeavors. Mayweather, on the other hand, did something else entirely....

Floyd Mayweather Gets His Frito Bandito On
Because of the bad people at Time Warner Cable in New York City, we were unable to order the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight Saturday night — the customer service guy, obviously beaten down by talking to countless frustrated customers like us, actually thanked us for not yelling at him — but from all ac...

Not Bad, Oscar
Amazing. A heavily-promoted pay-per-view fight that left the fans standing and cheering at the end, without a great amount of controversy. Hm. They should try that again sometime....

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Is An Ass Doc
While we're all still basking in the glow of that one horse's victory, we've NBA playoffs, including a Game 7, and then Game 1 between arguably the East's two best teams. In addition, there's a Nextel Cup race, NHL playoff action, and of course, De La Hoya vs. Mayweather. Punching each other in the ...

Boxing's Last Gasp
Finally, after putting it off for a couple of weeks, we sat down and watched all episodes of "De La Hoya/Mayweather 24/7" last night; enough people had told us we were required to take a look that we sucked it up. And we agree with Robert Weintraub from Slate: It is more fun than anything involving ...

What Should Happen To All People Who Wear White Levis
This is an old video, but we've never seen it before, which is odd, because we have every episode of Hard Copy on DVD. So a bully smacks around a few people and is feeling pretty good about himself, until an ex-boxer steps in and administers a little vigilante justice. So many things to hold our int...

His Mama Named Him Ruslan, I'mma Call Him Ruslan
I don't know if this is as big a deal as crowning a new IBF, WBC, or WBO champion, but there's a brand new WBA world heavyweight champion. Ruslan Chagaev defeated Nikolay Valuev in Stuttgart, Germany yesterday to claim the title and earn immediate recognition and respect among dozens of sports fans....

I Like Oscar de la Hoya's Chances, If He Doesn't Explode Before May 5th
I'm not an expert on boxing training techniques, so I don't know if this is a common practice or not ... it's hard for me to imagine, though, Mike Tyson training for a fight by getting a full body nude "greasedown massage" from a fellow named Freddy Roach, and then engaging in non-ejaculatory sex....

Gauging Your Women's Sports Interest
If you're not adequately impressed by the countdown clock ESPN's giving us for the Rutgers-Tennessee women's national championship game tonight — here's something weird; in women's hoops, they have the professional draft the day after the national title game — then here's a sporting event that's pro...