"That game, we were all over the place. If you wanted to liberally use a sideline reporter, let them really play a role, that telecast might show how it could work. That was the height of ambition for the broadcast. Two nights later, we did Georgia Tech vs. Notre Dame in Atlanta. I think I was on three times."

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From the start, the notion of sideline reporters met with resistance from all points on the compass. Coaches hated them, for obvious reasons. Sports information directors, too. "And sportswriters went berserk," Lampley recalls. "What we were doing, in effect, was threatening their sidebar stories." The issue came before the American Football Coaches Association, says Lampley, who was friendly in those days with one former AFCA president (Paul Bryant) and one future president (Darrell Royal). "The subject came up and Bryant said, 'Fuck it. I like him.' And that was the end of that."

Lampley never had any illusions about the job. "I never thought for a second that what we did was vital," he says. "What had been envisioned was that, several times during the telecast, they'd throw to the sideline, where a college-aged reporter would do something, within 24 seconds, on Herbie the mascot buffalo or the cheerleader who won homecoming queen or whatever. And Keith is a no-nonsense guy of the highest order. You can put that in bold print. Pretty early on, I realized that despite everything that had been billed about this job, if I did it as they'd originally conceived it, I was gonna be a pariah, persona non grata — to Keith, to the truck, to the viewers. Because all of this was just nonsense."

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We pause here to note that Lisa Guerrero was still a quarter-century away. If, for some, she represents the nadir of sideline reporting, she was also a natural step in the evolution of a position that was defiantly stupid from its very conception. (Remember that, initially, ABC didn't want someone with actual experience.) More than anyone, more than seasoned reporters like Andrea Kremer and Armen Keteyian, Guerrero was exactly what the job had called for, from the first: a smiling, pleasantly daft cheerleader.

ABC asked Lampley to work the 1977 season, but he "screamed bloody murder" and begged off. "The next person who worked the sidelines for ABC — how shocking is this — was a young, beautiful woman," he says. It was Anne Simon, last seen around these parts getting slowly consumed by Bear Bryant's hat. "From that point forward, the bulk of what you see are young, attractive woman. Obviously, 90 percent of them are very bright, eager to become legitimate sports reporters, but it puts them immediately into an awkward position.

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"When something is not utterly vital, when something is totally insignificant, it's very easy to go to the next consideration, which is the cosmetics," Lampley continues. "There's no question [producers] think the cosmetic value means something. Obviously, they think it filters into the mix that prompts more people to stay and watch a telecast. I just doubt that's the case. If my goal today was to look at a beautiful woman, I don't have to turn on the Notre Dame-USC telecast. I've got 147 channels to choose from, and I can get a better look than through a peephole darkly, in a hotel room."