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It’s an even year, so the San Francisco Giants will win the 2016 World Series. Thank you to all the other teams for participating. Maybe next year! But not the one after that (we’re unclear what happens in 2020).

Their procession to the title started a bit wonkily up in Milwaukee, as a flu-ridden Madison Bumgarner walked in a run and gave up a pair of dingers in the first three innings. But that didn’t quite matter, as debutante center fielder Denard Span led a 12-3 Giants rout with four RBI.

His last two came on a long homer to right field off of Brewers reliever Ariel Peña. After a ball, then a swing-and-a-miss, Joe Panik jacked a meteor to the upper deck. Peña regrouped, took a breath, then gave up another home run to Buster Posey on the very next pitch. Three dingers in five pitches! Not Peña’s best inning.

Screencap via

Here’s a supercut.


San Francisco won in 2012 and 2014 on the strength of their pitching, but if you feel comfortable extrapolating one game’s worth of hitting over the next 161, this team is set up to win with their bats. Suspect as that projection is, there is more offensive talent on this team now that Span shifts Angel Pagan over to left and Matt Duffy looks like he’s developing into a solid hitter at the 6 spot.

Pretty impressive result for a team with a very sick ace who had to wade through a logistical clusterfuck to even get to the ballpark today. Parade should be fun.