The Perfect Encapsulation Of The Media's Midweek Super Bowl Coverage, In One SportsCenter Screencap

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Yesterday, John and Jim Harbaugh—brothers, dontcha know—held a joint press conference in New Orleans. ESPN apparently recorded it, reviewed it, broke it down, and came away with the above stats. Extrapolated to their logical conclusion, those stats mean...literally nothing, except that ESPN is as committed as ever to humping the hell out of every possible story line. SportsCenter is counting smiles. This chart has a key. We're saving this in a special place for the next time someone tells us to stick to sports.