Francesco Molinari of Italy won The Open Championship Sunday, following up his third-round 65 with a final-round 69 to finish two shots clear of the field and capture his first career major title. He is not the hero of the tournament. Nor is Tiger Woods the hero, even after his stirring two day charge up the leaderboard to finish a promising sixth. Congratulations to these fellows! They aren’t the True Heroes.
No, the one true hero of the tournament is Eddie Pepperell, who finished in a tie for sixth after shooting a four-under 67 on Sunday, while managing a hangover:
Pepperell felt shitty about his third-round 71 on Saturday, so he did what any mature adult does to unwind after a tough work day and got himself good and blotto. He then woke up Sunday morning feeling hungover and indifferent, and shot his way into the top 10. Get this man a Bloody Mary and a damn trophy to drink it out of.