Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion

The Minnetonka Queen is no more. The 64-foot Skipperliner, which infamously hosted a Vikings sex party in which Fred Smoot used a double-ended dildo on two call girls, has been laid up in drydock for far too long. Now it's been given new life. As the Scandalous, it will ply the gentle waves of Iowa.


Let's jump in the WABAC Machine:

Fred Smoot: Was seen holding a double-headed dildo and moving the dildo while each end was inserted into the vagina of two women who were lying on the floor near the lounge area of the charter boat. After a period of time, one of the women got up and Mr. Smoot continued to manipulate the dildo inside the other woman.

Daunte Culpepper: Got a "lap dance" from an unidentified, naked female. During this "lap dance," Mr. Culpepper placed his hands on the naked buttocks of the female dancer.

Moe Williams: [Williams is witnessed] in the area by the downstairs bathrooms receiving a "lap dance," which involved the "dancer" dancing bare-breasted and Mr. Williams with his hands on and touching the breasts of his female partner.

Bryant McKinnie: [McKinnie is witnessed] pick up a naked woman, place her on the bar in the lounge and commence to perform oral sex on her. ... At a different time during the evening, [witnesses] saw Mr. McKinnie along with three other unidentified males receiving oral sex from four women while the men were seated in deck chairs on the boat.


Ah, memories. The boat, which somehow ended up back at the factory, was recently purchased for around $100,000 by Butch Parks, a marina operator at Iowa's Great Lakes. Parks says he didn't know the boat's backstory, though it didn't torpedo the deal. The Scandalous will offer dinner and drinks cruises, but there will be no more prostitutes, no more blowjobs, no more public donging. These are family-friendly lakes.

God, I hope they power-washed the decks.

[Des Moines Register, via RandBall]

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