The Whole SYSTEM Is Out Of Order!

Leitch|published: Thu 19th January, 14:10 2006

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Oh, how nice it is to take a trip to the halcyon days of yesteryear, to revisit — again ... and again ... and again — our old friends Renee Thomas and Angela Keathley, the Carolina Panthers lesbian cheerleaders. (Honestly, it's so warm having them back in the news again, like going back and visiting your favorite teacher in high school.)

Anyway, Angela — the "troublemaker" — pleaded out yesterday in regards to the charges filed back in November; she will receive six months probation, do 32 hours of community service and write a letter of apology to Tampa police, a letter we sincerely hope begins, Penthouse Letters-style, with, "Dear Tampa Police: I never thought something like this would happen to me, but ..."

Keathley and Thomas continue their blasted, wretched lies that there was, in fact, no sex in the bathroom, and are actually filing suit against Melissa Holden, the woman they punched, for saying there had been. We'd like to personally volunteer for the jury; we would like to hear Ms. Holden's testimony firsthand. Slowly, please, so the court reporter can get it all down.

Is it possible to ever get tired of this story? Probably not.

Ex-TopCat Accepts Probation, Service [Charlotte Observer] Wrapping Up The Lesbian Cheerleaders Story [Deadspin]